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Archive for the Petra Nemcova Category

2015

26

Jan

Petra Nemcova Not Retouched for Ultimo Lingerie of the Day

Petra Nemcova is a Czech model who must be in her late 40s, because I feel like she’s been around forever. She’s been part of every underwear campaign the last 2 decades, from Victoria’s Secret, to La Perla, to Victoria’s secret, to whatever the fuck Ultimo is…and she probably booked the work, because she’s tall…And unlike other Czech Girls, she didn’t have to work in the sex trade because they are hot and more affordable than American porn chicks, because Czech girls are always willing to fuck on camera for money….at least it seems that way if you watch porn…and they are the only hot ones doing it…but she’s still getting half naked for fashion…

I think the most interesting thing about this babe, is not that she’s a babe who doesn’t need to be retouched, you know since that’s the whole fucking point of using models and not fat actors as spokespeople to push the brand, the whole retouching thing makes no fucking sense…but it is that she survived the Tsunami…and that’s a pretty gangster thing to survive…and thank god she survived, so that we can stare.

Posted in:Petra Nemcova

2014

13

Nov

Petra Nemcova for Modern Luxury of the Day

Petra Nemcova was on Vacation in Thailand with her boyfriend who ended up being swept away by the Tsunami, that she survived….by hanging in a tree…for hours…

I guess what “God” was telling us is that the world has far too many photographers, or aspiring photographers, and doesn’t need any more of them…so one being swept away won’t change much…but there’s only one Petra Nemcova and she’s fucking substantial, so we’ll have to let her live, so that 10 years later she can get cast in campaigns for “Modern Luxury”….that clearly aren’t life changing, but that if you were given a second lease on life, would likely be the last thing you do…I guess as the years go on, it’s easier to get back into the normal everyday struggles…and I saw let her do anything she wants, because she’s amazing…even in boring shoots.

Posted in:Petra Nemcova

2014

11

Jun

Petra Nemcova Tsunami Survivor for GQ Portugal of the Day

There is a reason that Petra Nemcova survived the Tsunami and her husband or fiancé didn’t, and that reason wasn’t to help Southeast Asia with all her philanthropic work. You know like one of those people who give purpose and meaning to the traumatic event in their life.

She survived the Tsunami to be fit and posing in GQ Portugal with her amazing eastern European genetics, and by amazing eastern European genetics I mean her tits…This shoot is crazy…

It is the kind of shoot that makes me want to some how convince her to Tsunami all over my face with her vagina….only in this Tsunami, the only thing dying is every other woman in the world, figuratively, because that pussy may be a bad luck charm, but the rest of her is the kind of thing that looks addictive enough to want want to get pregnant.

She’s a survivor, who has been through a lot, but looks better than all you lazy American girls who have never seen tragedy, struggle or despair..and that’s why I like her better than you….what I don’t like is every single man who has had sex with her…because they aren’t me, and giving her unrealistic expectations for the sex intend to have with these pics…true story.

Posted in:Petra Nemcova

2013

22

May

Petra Nemcova Hot Lingerie Photoshoot of the Day

My favorite thing about Petra Nemcova is that she survived the Tsunami like a superhero when the person she was with, her fiance, didn’t. Unless it was just an extravagant attempt to escape being locked down by her, and dude lives a life under a different name in South East Asia, which is possible, because even the hottest bitches, are nagging, self involved, emotionally driven, cunts who annoy as they try to control their man…..

My other favorite thing about Petra Nemcova, is staring at her nipples. She’s a survivor and by survivor I mean lovely as fuck…..

Posted in:NSFW|Petra Nemcova

2013

08

Feb

Petra Nemcova Titties of the Day

I want to Tsunami all over her….with my dick…only instead of trapping her in a tree while her fiance gets washed away…so I can have her allfor myself….I’m hoping my Tsunami ends with her pregnant…and lock her down forever….She’s amazing.

Posted in:Petra Nemcova

2012

25

Oct

Petra Nemcova’s Got the Best Shirt of the Day


Before seeing these awesome pics of an awesome shirt of Awesome Petra Nemcova….I pretty much forgot she existed…It’s like her fiance never died in the tsunami….and all it took was bringing out the tits to remind us she’s still here…and that she climbed up a fucking tree that day and wasn’t swept away with the motherfucker they never found….and I appreciate her efforts…to keep his memory alive…cuz motherfuckers…I like me some titties….in public….in see through shirts so see through she might as well not be wearing a shirt…but maybe I am just emotional cuz I survived a Central American earthquake I didn’t even notice til the power went out…cuz I was at a bar drunk chatting up a tranny….and my world is always set on fucking vibrate….I’m a cockroach people…not going anywhere….

These pics are almost a week old – but I am in Central America and thus new to me….like every Adam Levine song is new to these people….

Posted in:Petra Nemcova

2011

11

Nov

Petra Nemcova’s Tight Dress of the Day

Here’s some Petra Nemcova for old times….

You gotta love a bitch who doesn’t get taken out by a Tsunami like 1000s of other bitches who weren’t so lucky, it’s like she’s the chosen one, maybe invincible, maybe just too hot for for a dude to not like her step on his shoulders and push him down while she climbs up the fucking tree for air….tapping into her communist escape surivival skills, where it’s either me or him kinda thing, all cold and Russian about it and able to still smile at events….I mean that’s my take on the Petra Nemcova shit, but then again, maybe it’s fluke and she’s just happy to be alive afte rthe whole greiving process, but where’s the fun in that….I like my women blood thirsty sociopaths, or broken….not emotionally sound and balanced….here she is in a tight enough dress that I’d rather be a bikini….but I hear she loses her shit everytime she gets in a bikini near the ocean, but I could have just made that up….

Posted in:Petra Nemcova

2011

30

Aug

Petra Nemcova in a Maid’s Uniform of the Day

When she’s not stepping on her boyfriend’s head during to save herself during Tsunamis. Petra Nemcova is dressing up in maid uniform fetish gear, with some vintage pantyhose goodness for trailers of shit I have no interest in watching unless it is on mute for no reason other than that I’m an unsupportive asshole and hate cock tease….It’s like show us your vagina bitch or fuck off….fetish maid uniforms are better than regular clothes but nothing beats naked and spread eagled…

Posted in:Petra Nemcova

2008

25

Sep

Petra Nemcova Dresses Like a Dude of the Day

This summer, I got conned into going to a waterpark with my neighbor and his kids because he was willing to pay and I was willing to check out girls in bikinis. I am not one for getting into a bathing suit or going on rides because I find them too labor intensive. You have to walk up stairs with your tube, and walking is something I don’t consider a necessity in having a good time, so I just sat by the wave pool and would try to convince hot mom’s to reenact the Tsunami with me. I’d be like, you play Petra Nemcova and I’ll play her photographer boyfriend and when a wave comes, I want you to run out of the pool and pose like you’re a model, then fake cry, start a charity and attend these glamorous events for the next 2 years and I’ll just stay behind and die. Needless to say, it wasn’t a big hit.

Posted in:Dude|Petra Nemcova

2008

04

Aug

Petra Nemcova is a Slut of the Day

I think it’s a little soon for Petra Nemcova to be out making out with some guy, considering it was just 3 and a half years ago when her boyfriend at the time got swept away byt the great wave. Call me old school, but there’s just something really special about seeing a widowed Italian woman who spends the last 25 years of her life wearing black from head to toe because her husband died. It’s that kind of loyalty that makes me trust marriage, because you know that the husband would be turning in his grave if his woman was gallivanting her vagina around town to deal with her lonliness.

Sure you can argue that Petra wasn’t married, that she was young and that her boyfriend would want her to get on with her life, but those are just excuses that justify her being a slut and rubbing it all in our faces with this public display from a couple weeks ago.

Posted in:Petra Nemcova