I think I realize why Jessica Simpson is so crazy in bed. It’s not because her ex-husband was a queer who could only get off if she fucked him like a dude, but more to do with a fat chick with a dream of getting married and having a family of her own. If you ever go home with that dolled up fat chick, only to learn she’s got 4 cats and a subscription to wedding magazines and baby name books on her coffee table, you can be pretty fucking sure you’re in for a good ride because all the bitch really wants from you is your cum inside her, as her desperation has got to that point where she’d actually bang you in the first place…

So when I see Jessica Simpson, I see hope. I just need another 20 pounds, a few more failed relationships and bad dates, and access to be within 10 feet of her because when that happens, her pussy will be so craving, even homeless dick is dick that can give her what she wants, and hell the homeless dick may be crazy, but at least it will stick around for the bed and food in the fridge…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Big|Jessica Simpson|Red