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Archive for the Socks Category

2009

09

Jun

Bridget Marquardt’s Stupid Whore Socks of the Day

I go to stripclubs and there’s been this trend the last few years for the whores to wear these leg warmers and I don’t really understand why. It’s like every tacky bitch needs to keep half her calf covered so that she can still put on her stripper shoe. I’ve run it through my head a few times, trying to figure out what anyone would find hot about this shit, like is it for foot fetishists to cum on toes, because there’s no real functionality for this shit, you know socks are to cover your feet in your shoes, so that means it’s just a stripper trend, and stripper trends are even funnier a concept than half socks, you know because strippers are trash, unless that stripper trend is turning tricks with clients in the booth…..because lookin’ and partially touching doesn’t really satisfy needs, it just cockteases and that should be a fucking crime.

Good morning world. Let’s get this started.

Posted in:Bridget Marquart|Socks|Whore

2007

11

May

I am – Britney Spears Dressed Like a Porno Clown of the Day

britney_candid.jpg

Britney was spotted out in LA with some chick who she probably is paying to be her friend dressed like a clown I want to fuck. I don’t know much about fashion, I wear fucking soiled clothes that smell like my ass and I haven’t really bought anything in the last 10 years it’s all been stuff my wife accumulates because I have pretty much given up but I do know that Von Dutch trucker hats have been out of style for at least 3 years. I remember a time when every cunt and his sister had one of these fuckers and it used to really piss me the fuck off. The idiots who paid the 50 – 100 dollars for the stupid things, didn’t realize that trucker hats are the cheapest hats out there and the ones I used to wear never cost me more than 50 cents. Unfortunately, those same fuckers have since realized that because I used to like using the hat as a warning sign of who to stay as fuck away from for being a cunt or who to try to hit up for some spare change because they were obviously fucking assholes when it came to their finances…

If you’re wondering why I want to bang her, it’s because busting all over her bald head would be funny, the bruised legs and high socks and short shorts remind me of 70s porn and the glasses remind me of a rich Jewish grandmother who’s about to die and leave me her millions of dollars in my very own trust fund…which banging Britney pretty much is if you get her load dropped in the right place but the whole decision making process of whether to hit her head or bank account through her womb would be too much to handle, thank god I am impotent and don’t have to make these decisions….and her fucking towel reminding us all that bitch is fucking crazy as she grasps her friends hand to guide her through the streets because she is so jacked on meds she doesn’t know where she is.

That’s pretty much all I have to say about that….

Posted in:Britney Spears|Shorts|Socks|Unsorted