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Archive for the stepLIVIN’ Category

2007

08

Jun

I am – Steve Aoki Does Montreal of the Day

So I wrote a bit about my night at the shitty high end club with people who think they are high end because they have rich parents or good jobs and don’t mind spending 1000 dollars a night on bottles of Grey Goose for their friends and women who like to hang out with guys who spend 1000 dollars a night on booze because they to drink for free in what they think is a classy place because it costs 10 dollars a drink. What they don’t realize is that the staff and patrons of the bar and the music they go crazy for is all shit and none of them have a fucking clue.

The big disappointment of the night was when a girl in a really short skirt was dancing on stage with her ass hanging out and I thought I was recording it but turned out I wasn’t. I had 3 minutes of bitch’s ass cheeks bouncing up and down…but drinking made me forget to record…..Motherfucker.

Bonus – This Girl Made Me Delete a Picture of Her and I Hate When People Tell Me What To Do, So I Decided to Snap Some Pics of Her to Post on the Site as Punishment for Her Being So Rude to Me….I just made you famous bitch….

Posted in:Chachi|Drunk|Party|stepLIVIN'|stepTV|Steve Aoki|Tits|Unsorted

2007

24

Apr

I am – stepTV Does Debbie Does Dallas Again Party in NYC of the Day

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Debbie Does Dallas was the first porno I ever saw back when I was 15 or 16. It holds a very warm place in my heart as fetishes of big bushed cheerleaders never really left my mind. I wasn’t sure how much I liked the concept of remaking it with bikini waxes, fake tits and expensive cameras, so when I heard about the NYC Debbie Does Dallas Again launch party that happened in NYC last Thursday, I convinced Vivid that my site was good enough to get invited and they pulled through. I am obviously too broke to go to NYC so I found some people willing to help out. I wanted to get the whole thing on video but I don’t have equipment but the guy I spoke to said that he’d do it as long as he could get drunk. Since I encourage people being drunk, it seemed like he was the guy. He forgot to tell me that his camera was on a free cellphone he got for signing a 2 year contract, but he still pulled through –

This is what he had to say about the event:

So Big Pinky Derrick and I got a late start which upon entering the club was fine by us. There were swarms of shithead photographers with their expensive cameras and wall street pieces of shit in 3 piece suits that seemed to cover the place like a cum shot covers a pornstar’s tits. We immediately grabbed beers from the open bar, but only one beer at a time cause they wouldn’t let us double fist. I figured double fisting would be accepted because it’s a porn party, but maybe fisting hasn’t really made it into the mainstream porn yet.

Regardless we made our way to the cesspool of photographers, I was equipped with a polaroid I stole from my neighbor’s little sister about 10 years ago and began snapping up photos of Monique who was posing. I was catching glaring eyes of the “professional” photographers who I guess thought I was a total cunt and at one point even told me that the event was for professionals. Shit’s for DrunkenStepfahter, how much more professional can I get so I told him to Fuck off. We continued drinking staring at the scene, having team huddles in the bathroom to assess the situation.

Finally after getting shoved around by “professionals”, karma kicked in. They escorted the porn stars to a roped off section and with three piece weasels and shithead photographers foaming at the bottom of the stairs they pulled me and Big Pinky up. Giving my competition the proverbial fuck off smile me and my cohort parted the sea of scum and sat unaccompanied with Monique and Savanna who both seemed confused how a bunch of idiots like us were up there with them in the first place.

Alas the girls warmed up to us and our charming ways. The interview went fine, we parted with thanks, smiles, and gropes, and hit the bar once more before stumbling out onto the NYC streets, laughing at the whole fucking thing.” I’d say thanks Jesus and DrunkenStepfather.com, but I am convinced you had nothing to do with making this happen. It was all me, motherfucker.

here’s the video:

Here’s the interview that you can’t make out in the video.

The following questions were asked of our two lovely hedonists:


Who would win a fight Captain crunch or Captain Kirk?

Monique: Captain crunch. Probably due to brand loyalty.

Savana: Captain Kirk cause he is bigger and not a cartoon.


Who is your favorite smurf?

Monique and Savana: The only one that wore high heels and was slutty. Smurfette.


If there were a fire which would you rescue? A kitten or a puppy?

Both: The puppy. Kittens are too hard to catch an are not as cool. Puppies rule.


Punch mom in the stomach or wear a suit of Macaroni for a week.

Monique I’d definetly punch my mom in the stomach hard!
Savana: Macaroni suit.

Favorite shoes of all times?
Monique: Chucks
Savana:Giuseppi whatevers

Here are the polaroids:

I have decided that showing up to events with a camera phone is exactly where I want to take stepTV. Fuck 10,000 dollar cameras and high quality video, this shit’s ghetto there’s no denying it. I hope these guys become my NYC stepSTEVEs. If you’re wondering who they are –


Credits:

Big Pinky Derrick on camera and interviewer is from TVCARNAGE

and

Roedood behind the camera and drunk and is from VBS.tv (until I poach this motherfucker to work for me full time because Vice is massively gay)

For more info on Debbie Does Dallas Again Go HERE

Posted in:Pornstars|stepLIVIN'|stepTV|Unsorted

2006

09

Jun

I am – StepLIVIN': NXNE

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Reality is that DrunkenStepfather becomes a way of life, and despite Drunken Step Steve’s departure from my couch, he’s still part of this whole thing. He’s reviewing some music festival that sounds BORING as fuck and none of you probably care about what he has to say, I am posting it anyway….

Drunken Step Steve’s NXNE Review pt. 1.

Okay, so I’m back. Drunken Step Steve has returned. Not to Montreal, but to the internet. I am here in Toronto, where the 3 day festival known as North by Northeast (NXNE) is taking place, this weekend.

I kicked off the festival by attending the over-hyped opening party on Wednesday, which sucked.

Last night (Thursday), I went to check out a band called Kover at the Big Bop building on Queen Street. If you are thinking I went to see this band because I heard they were good, you are wrong. I went because a female friend of mine had seen the lead singer on Myspace and thought he was cute. Needless to say if I had known that was why we were going before I got there, I would have never gone.

My night didn’t end there. After the shitty show, I went to the local indie-rock, hipster bar called The Queenshead, not because it was part of the festival, but because I was in need of cheap beer but my friend Blake couldn’t get in because he got in a fight with the bouncer a week earlier.

I decided to roll the dice one more time and check out The Bovine Sex Club, a cool little bar if you are into almost hot, almost goth looking girls…and Jagermeister.

The Bovine made my night. Not only was Glam Rocker (see: complete loser) Robin Black and his band of Intergalactic rockstars playing the worst show in the history of music, but I also ran into my drinking buddy Sarah. When she drinks, she suddenly becomes the mayor of the town, and doesn’t give a fuck if you like it or not.

After Robin Black stopped doing whatever he was doing on stage, and made his way through the crowd, Mayor Sarah decided to pinch his bare chest until he grabbed her and said “can you please stop pinching me, it really hurts you know!”.

My night is complete. I am now drunk and a D-list Toronto celebrity has asked my friend to stop pinching him, because it really hurts, you know.

I left, put Blake in an abandoned shopping cart we found outside the bar, and ran him the 10 blocks back to where I am staying.

Now I am here, about to fall asleep on someone else’s couch, once again. It seems to be the ongoing theme of my life. This is where the story ends. Good night.

Festively yours,

Steve.

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UPDATE: The front desk just called and asked us to remove the shopping cart from the fountain in the courtyard. Amazing.

Completely Unrelated Stepfather Pictures of Sly Stalone Shadow Boxing cuz he’s in Rocky, Get It? He’s Trying to PROMOTE his UPCOMING movie….

Posted in:stepLIVIN'|Unsorted

2006

09

Jun

I am – StepLIVIN’: NXNE

Picture-6.jpg

Reality is that DrunkenStepfather becomes a way of life, and despite Drunken Step Steve’s departure from my couch, he’s still part of this whole thing. He’s reviewing some music festival that sounds BORING as fuck and none of you probably care about what he has to say, I am posting it anyway….

Drunken Step Steve’s NXNE Review pt. 1.

Okay, so I’m back. Drunken Step Steve has returned. Not to Montreal, but to the internet. I am here in Toronto, where the 3 day festival known as North by Northeast (NXNE) is taking place, this weekend.

I kicked off the festival by attending the over-hyped opening party on Wednesday, which sucked.

Last night (Thursday), I went to check out a band called Kover at the Big Bop building on Queen Street. If you are thinking I went to see this band because I heard they were good, you are wrong. I went because a female friend of mine had seen the lead singer on Myspace and thought he was cute. Needless to say if I had known that was why we were going before I got there, I would have never gone.

My night didn’t end there. After the shitty show, I went to the local indie-rock, hipster bar called The Queenshead, not because it was part of the festival, but because I was in need of cheap beer but my friend Blake couldn’t get in because he got in a fight with the bouncer a week earlier.

I decided to roll the dice one more time and check out The Bovine Sex Club, a cool little bar if you are into almost hot, almost goth looking girls…and Jagermeister.

The Bovine made my night. Not only was Glam Rocker (see: complete loser) Robin Black and his band of Intergalactic rockstars playing the worst show in the history of music, but I also ran into my drinking buddy Sarah. When she drinks, she suddenly becomes the mayor of the town, and doesn’t give a fuck if you like it or not.

After Robin Black stopped doing whatever he was doing on stage, and made his way through the crowd, Mayor Sarah decided to pinch his bare chest until he grabbed her and said “can you please stop pinching me, it really hurts you know!�.

My night is complete. I am now drunk and a D-list Toronto celebrity has asked my friend to stop pinching him, because it really hurts, you know.

I left, put Blake in an abandoned shopping cart we found outside the bar, and ran him the 10 blocks back to where I am staying.

Now I am here, about to fall asleep on someone else’s couch, once again. It seems to be the ongoing theme of my life. This is where the story ends. Good night.

Festively yours,

Steve.

stepsteve.jpg

UPDATE: The front desk just called and asked us to remove the shopping cart from the fountain in the courtyard. Amazing.

Completely Unrelated Stepfather Pictures of Sly Stalone Shadow Boxing cuz he’s in Rocky, Get It? He’s Trying to PROMOTE his UPCOMING movie….

Posted in:stepLIVIN'|Unsorted