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Archive for the Party Category

2010

20

Jan

Fun Married Couple of the Day

3 Comments »

I don’t see what the big deal is, so dude convinced kids to have sex while he masturbated in the corner, sounds like a good time to me, I mean in this generation you can’t have a party with teenagers without the sex, he’s just trying to keep shit current and trendy, holding onto his youth and being the cool older guy who faciliates the fun, so I can only blame the Christian policies of the USA for ruining his fun….. like when I got in trouble for buying a 15 year old a bag of coke for a handjob, 14 is legal motherfuckers…fine that never happened…I just gave her crushed up lactose pills but she didn’t know the difference, fine…I never got it on with a 14 year old, not even when I was 14, but it coulda happened and it woulda been legal, cuz I am in Canada….I do know a creep guy who would jerk off to teens fucking when I see one and this dudes mustache should have given him away….

Posted in:Cool Couple|Party

2009

27

Jul

Avril Lavigne is a Party Girl of the Day

7 Comments »

There’s nothing much better than shoving a bottle of booze down some young drunk girls mouth, you know watching her eyes roll back in a drunken state, as the shit drips down her drunk chin, knowing that as the guy with the supply the chances of her makin’ her pussy talk to you like a sock puppet while you’re back at her hotel for the afterparty is a hell of a lot higher, cuz you’re the trusted bottle dumper and she’s having the time of her fuckin’ life….

I mean unless the girl you’re shoving a bottle of booze down her throat is a famous popstar with obvious fuckin’ issues, because fuckin famous pussy, although potentially more dangerous than fucking prostitute pussy, cuz prostitutes use condoms, is pretty luxurious, at least just for the bragging rights….

What it all comes down to is that if I was stuck with a dude from Sum 41 for more than 5 minutes, I probably would have already killed myself, I wouldn’t have taken the slow, self destructive way….but based on Avril’s lyrics, she’s got way more depth than that and enjoys the suffer for her “artistic” vision of crap….

Posted in:Avril Lavigne|Drinking|Party

2009

29

Apr

Shauna Sand Party Pictures of the Day

1 Comment »

I am not going to lie, I have no idea who Paul Heyman is. I did some quick research and found out he was involved in wrestling in the 90s, so that’s the reason why, because wrestling in the 90s is when shit got weird and every guido I knew was up on it in such an obsessed way that it was uncomfortable being around them.

I do know Shauna Sand, so when his people sent me the link to these pictures of the whore in action, rockin’ her sheer lingerie at a club, showing off her busted up nipple from botched implant operation after implant operation, because plastic surgery is what she does in her spare time, and I guess so is showing off her nipples , I had no choice but to steal them….

Unfortunately, I was sent these pictures a good 2 weeks ago, I’m just a real slow mover.

Source: HeymanHustle

Posted in:Party|Pictures|Shauna Sand

2009

17

Apr

Paris Hilton Shows Off Some Tit of the Day

1 Comment »

This fame hungry rich kid’s plan still seems to be working. I don’t think anyone really gets that people are talking about a girl who peaked on the first season of Simple Life, because the concept was actually funny, and because Nicole Richie carried the show by being a cunt to the everyday people, but we’re still talking about her. I guess that’s just proof that my life is really fucking lame, but let’s face it, I didn’t need Paris Hilton, or her cleavage to learn me that, I kind of already knew, you know with a combination of failing at pretty much everything I’ve tried and having bad sex with bad women since ’85, posting on Paris is just another nail in the coffin, even though I died decades ago….You get what I am saying and here is her cleavage…

Posted in:cleavage|Paris Hilton|Party

2009

12

Mar

Bridget’s Sexiest Beaches Party of the Day

No Comments »

It’s always nice to see long lost lovers reunited for the sake of making money, you know the same motivation for their fake publicity stunt relationship. So as Bridget launches her Sexiest Beach TV show, one of those original concepts you’ve never seen before, but I am not hating on it, because I like beaches and bikinis and figure you can never have too much of them, Hefner and Kendra came out to support, why?? because they are all gettin’ paid.

Posted in:Bridget Marquardt|Hugh Hefner|Kendra Wilkinson|Party|Playboy

2009

11

Mar

Rihanna Out Partying of the Day

5 Comments »

Just because your boyfriend beats you up, doesn’t mean you can’t have a good time, and Rihanna proves that there’s no need to hide in the fucking basement living off the raw meat your asshole husband makes you eat while chained to the fuckin’ radiator because he’s scared you’ll tell someone about what he does to you when no one is looking, you can just suck it up, embrace being abused and have a fucking cocktails partially because it hurts less when you’re drunk, but also because they make you look so fucking fabulous.

I had a rough night last night, it didn’t involve drinking, just a missing person so I got all of 1 hour of sleep, the person’s been found, thanks for asking, but fuck am I tired. Sometimes I wish I was more insensitive instead of trying to save the fuckin’ planet one nipple slip/bikini pic at a time.

Posted in:Party|Rihanna

2009

21

Feb

Amanda Bynes and Her Legs Leave a Club of the Day

5 Comments »

Amanda Bynes really loves her legs. She shows them off everywhere she goes. She shouldn’t get too dependent on these legs, you know use them as some kind of security blanket because you never know when you may accidentally step on a land mine and all your leg showing off comes to an immediate end. So time to bring out them tits and vag because based on this video, her personality’s not gonna take her very far…

Posted in:Amanda Bynes|Legs|Party

2009

04

Feb

Pam Anderson Picture of the Day

1 Comment »

So this is the story that goes along with this picture:

I spotted Pamela Anderson at the “Angels and Athletes” party at Aja in Tampa, FL this past Saturday.

She was out celebrating (something) the night before the Super Bowl.

Pam was on hand as the headline attraction for the night…unfortunately for her, she forgot to bring her A-Game…or a hairbrush.

Source

I have a feeling she is making this face because shejust felt her busted up uterus slipping out of her skirt because she didn’t wear underwear again, but I guess she could be making this face because she’s scared, or sad, or concerned or even surprised. Maybe it’s got to do with her dying career, beauty or sex appeal….or maybe someone just flashed her the 8 ball of coke she’s about to dig her whore face in, or maybe a guy she once banged just told her he has AIDS and has to tell past lovers by law. I really don’t know or care but someone emailed it to me and I figured I’d switch it up by posting it anyway because I have nothing better to do and no matter how hard I try to go back to sleep and no matter how tired I am right now, the alcohol withdrawal isn’t letting me. Asshole.

Posted in:Drunk|Pamela Anderson|Party

2009

16

Jan

Kate Moss Weird 35th Birthday Party Props of the Day

2 Comments »

So Kate Moss turned 35, it seems like just yesterday she was 34. Sure that was a stupid thing to say, but what the fuck do you expect me to say about some retired model I wanted to have sex with over the course of her career slowly getting older. I could say she’s 5 years til 40, or halfway to 70, but who the fuck cares about that kind of math a third grader can do. So maybe you should just leave me alone and look at the pictures of some of the props she got together for her party.

At first I thought they were a little strange, you know the mounted deer head, the pig on a split, the skeletons engaged in illicit acts, but then I remember the time I showed up to a sorority party with my very own bag of tricks….you know, some duct tape, rope, a couple garbage bags, three cans of beer and some spray paint, scissors, nail clippers, condoms, an enema, a pack of cigarettes, a Halloween mask, some junior mints and booster cables. The dude at the gas station gave me a weird look when I was buying my party favors but had nothing on the reaction I got from the girls who had no idea who I was, but who I am sure never have never forgot me since then…

Posted in:35th Birthday|Kate Moss|Party|Props

2008

07

Nov

The Soup Nazi Hosts Parties of the Day

8 Comments »

I remember when I was asked to host a 16 year old girl’s house party, like I was some kind of celebrity and the party I was invited to host was some exclusive club, filled with hot girls and free flowing booze, but it turned I wasn’t really asked to host it, and I was actually an unwanted guest that ended with the police showing up, but not to bust the party like you’d expect with it being 4 in the morning and 50 teenagers underage drinking and making noise, because the girls throwing the party called the cops on me, busting their own party, because that’s just the kind of host I am….an unwelcome one.

So when I got this email of some breast cancer event hosted by the Soup Nazi from Seinfeld, I had no choice but to laugh, because any event booking the Soup Nazi to host their shit is probably pretty poor, but more importantly, the Soup Nazi is still living his 15 minutes, 15 years later.

I never liked Seinfeld, it was too Jewish, so I don’t even know who this clown is, but I know he will probably snap one day when some poor fuck asks him at the airport or maybe in the mall to say his “no soup for you line” and he decides to murder suicide, but until then, he’s hosting charity events.

Posted in:Party|Seinfeld|Soup Nazi