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Archive for the Party Category

2008

Aug

Mischa Barton at Some Party of the Day

So I was emailed this picture and had no idea who the fuck I was looking at, so I sent it to my favorite celebrity pervert who loves all these bitches and keeps folders on his computer with all their pictures, he immediately told me it was Mischa Barton and I was immediately reminded that I am fucking retarded because I’ve been doing this celebrity focused website for 4 years and I still can’t recognize a celebrity for the life of me because I just don’t give a fuck about them. I guess that doesn’t matter….

What does matter is that she’s at what I assume is a themed party, because if I see a dude who is clearly a rich kid hanging with a celebrity, in a straw hat and overalls with no shirt on, I fuckin’ hope shit’s a theme party and not some kind of new fashion trend that I’ll have to see on the fuckin’ street like that Ed Hardy shit. I guess Mischa looks alright because she’s covering up that sloppy fuckin’ body, but it would still be a better picture if they traded outfits, but that’s just because I like seeing dudes in dresses, I am weird like that.

Picture Via COBRASNAKE

Posted in:Mischa Barton|Party

2008

Mar

Tara Reid Hangs With Men in Miami of the Day

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It was the Winter Music Conference in Miami this past week and I wanted to send someone there to get video footage of all the crazy party people high on drugs, but the WMC decided that my site wasn’t legit or cool enough to cover their shitty week of club djs and I got rejected, so I had to tell the unemployed dude in Miami who owned a video camera that his dreams of being an online TV producer for a shitty site no one reads will have to wait until I trick the WMC that the site isn’t a waste of internet space next year, which turns out to be a pretty hard task because I kinda agree with them.

These are some pictures of Tara Reid on the beach in Miami during the WMC with various men who I can only assume are DJs, club promoters and drug dealers who are in town to support their party lifestyle/industry, because she’s a staple in the club scene internationally and probably won some kind of award for being at the most parties in the last 5 years than any other living human being. I think whatever trophy she got will look good next to her haggard cocaine face, or even next to her old liver she had bronzed after she finally scored that transplant of the liver she stole from 18 year old party girl on Springbreak who she invited back to her room for some exclusive hotel party, at least that’s the only explanation I have for how bitch keeps going.

Posted in:Miami|Party|Slut|Tara Reid|WMC

2008

Feb

Paris Hilton is On Someone’s Facebook of the Day

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You know Paris Hilton is a huge star when I find pictures of her dancing at a club and hugging up on some chick like they are best fucking friends for life on Facebook. She’s like one of those accessible celebrities who hangs out with anyone who isn’t famous around her because they are the only people who are impressed by her and it’s good for her ego. They are the kind of people who feel like they are important just because they are in her slut presence and Paris needs that positive affirmation because everyone else in the world thinks she’s a fuckin’ joke. If it wasn’t for these select few ass lickers out there, there wouldn’t even be a Paris Hilton, the harsh reality of her sucking at life would have hit a long time ago and bitch would have jumped off twentieth floor balcony back then.

So as long as there are socialite wannabes and horny dudes willing to fuck some skinny coked up bitch with herpes, there will be a Paris Hilton because she’ll think she has a purpose and we’ll have the facebook uploads as memories of each and everyone one of these club night encounters and I hate all you fuckers for that.

You are the same guy who made this fat bitch I know think she’s all fuckin that, like god’s fucking gift to sucking cock who thinks she gives the best fucking blowjob the world and deserves presents and to be worshipped all because and asshole told her she was awesome. What she doesn’t know is that when getting a blowjob from a willing girl, it’s always the best fucking blowjob and we tell you that it’s the best fucking blowjob because we are trying to fuckin’ cum and if we were to focus on your fucking flaws at giving a blowjob we’d go fuckin’ limp and forced to jerk off like we always fucking do, making the whole blowjob a waste of our time. So don’t let this get to your head bitch, it’s just part of the fuckin’ process and we tell every girl who sucks are dick that she gives the best fucking blowjob and you don’t deserve presents or to be worshipped, because your blowjob was average at best, it was just the best blowjob we were getting at the time. Cuddles.

Posted in:Facebook|Paris Hilton|Party

2007

Nov

I am – Paris Hilton and Elisha Cuthbert Party Together of the Day

6 Comments »

I can’t figure out what’s worse, partying with Paris Hilton or partying with Paris Hilton and taking a backseat to her when the paparazzi hits, because they have more interest in her than you, when you’re the one who is supposed to be a movie star and she’s just a tranny lookin’ rich kid with a sex tape. It’s gotta be one of those desperate times callin’ for desperate measures in Elisha Cuthbert’s career but at least she’s wearing a Jewish Outfit of the Day because Jews always succeed and this projection shit may work…..I’ll admit, I didn’t really spend all that much time thinking about this important issue and Ididn’t spend all that much time writing this post. I’m sick, it happens, Fuck You.

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Posted in:Elisha Cuthbert|Paris Hilton|Party|Unsorted

2007

Sep

I am – Danielle Lloyd Ass Flash Pictures of the Day

2 Comments »

I saw these picture of Danielle Lloyd the other day and wasn’t too impressed, because the ass flash picture wasn’t released. I don’t remember who she is, probably from Big Brother UK but I do know that she’s one of those chicks who constantly exposes herself and when I see her name in the boards I rip my pictures off of, usually means a guaranteed post…

Reality is that I like slutty lookin girls who dress in revealing clothes. I like girls who show off their bodies and don’t wear panties. I like being with girls who like to flash their bodies and their body parts discreetly even though they usually suck in bed, but watching other guys get hard over them is a total power trip. Unfortunately that hasn’t happened since I got one of my chicks to not wear panties one night and discreetly expose the shit, but that was a long fucking time ago….

I also like girls who like sex. So I spent the last hour sitting on a park bench outside a maternity store. I do this sometimes because I like to let the girls know that I know what they’ve been up to by giving them dirty looks or creepy smirks. In my head I think to myself how that bitch let a dude bust nut inside her and smile and I know she knows I know she let some dude bust in her and that in a few months so will the rest of the world….it’s kinda like she’s released a sex tape or has starred in a porn flick that I’ve never seen, but I still know she was in it.

Here are those Danielle Lloyd pics.

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2007

Sep

I am – Paris Does Montreal of the Day

6 Comments »

I found out that Paris was going to be hitting up some ChaChi bar in Montreal about a week ago. I thought it would be funny to get myself into the event even though it’s not that funny. So I tried contacting the club involved. They wanted nothing to do with me or the website so I had to think of alternative options….

I was given Paris’ number a long time ago and we used to have a little dialog going. Unfortunately her number was released on the internet and she changed the shit. So I was stuck with Stavros’ number. Now if you don’t know who Stavros is, he is the fuckin’ man. He has banged anyone famous you can think of, from Petra Nemcova, to Lohan to one of the Olsen twins – so I decided to reach out to him…

Now, Stavros has been in my phone for a while, and I constantly send him text messages and he responds. I never understood why, becauseI have told him that I am from drunkenstepfather, and he always seems to ignore what I say. I had no idea how to get into this shit, so I asked him an he put me on the list. He was under the impression that I was his boy MIchael Perez and I just rode that shit home. So as he told me that I was on the list, and I’d ask him under what name and he told me Michael Perez, I just went along with it…

When I got to the club I told them that I was this Michael Perez motherfucker and they didn’t have me on the list, so I wrote Stavros a CURT text message saying that I was gettin dicked around. The dude was wearing overalls and no shirt and made me feel uncomfortable…Within about 15 minutes the owners of the club found me in the group of 100s of people, apologized and brought me inside like I was important, even though I hadn’t showered and was wearing ratty clothes. I was on Paris’ list and they thought I was some Michael Perez motherfucker who was important for whatever reason. I got to the bar, thought it was hysterical cuz everyone in there was showered and good looking, drank as much as I could afford and waited for the night to end. I fell down the stairs to the bathroom and I was rejected when trying to get into Paris’ VIP area, by Paris Hilton. The security dude brought her my cell phone where all the Stavros messages went down, and she looked at it and said that I could join her stupid dance circle.

The whole epxerience was fucking jokes and I kept laughing. I met some black chick who liked roses and some blond chick who thought I was bored and I just drove that shit home

I think the highlight of the night was watching a whole club zone in on Paris and watch her every move. Bitch would dance and everyone in the place would clap like she was Barney. The whole place was focused 100 percent on her. I guess they didn’t notice how handsome I looked.

When I was leaving, I was told Paris hadn’t left, so I waited around to let her know who I was. Not that it got me invited to her hotel room, but it was still funny, and that is the video you see. I will deny that being my voice because the asshole in it sounds jewish and 13, but reality is that we love Paris and Stavros and this is the proof. I am now Michael Perez and you are still an asshole.

So after all is said and done, they still don’t know what this website is or that it exists, but Paris Hilton is 100 percent worth a round, and I would be willing to get herpes for one night in her. I will be tickling my balls with the hand I shook of hers, just after I disinfect it. Paris changed my life, and I am a groupie now…I am pretty easy to win over…all I need is a little booze and some attention…CUDDLES….

UPDATE: I was fucking drunk when editing and writing this post at 5 am. I was out alone and stealing booze off some dudes with gel in their hair’s bottle….I shoulda asked her to bring me back to her hotel to let me lick her asshole. But I forgot. I did feel like a 14 year old girl waiting around to see Paris, but I needed to get something for the site and I wasn’t about to get arrested over the shit, so this is what you get.

If you were looking for a video of me throwing my feces at her, this isn’t it. I am too nice for that. I forgot to tell her I was from Drunkenstepfather.com, I was just trying to get over my big breasted Barmaids big breasts and the fact that people actually care about Paris. Like care so much that there was a crowd outside the place. I was also trying to get over this really rich bald old guy and his entourage of 10 really hot 20 year olds who I can only assume were on Payroll, making me realize that when you have money you can have any pussy you want.

It may look like I was all lined up to meet and greet her, I was just standing outside with some dude from Afghanistan when this went down…harassing random people coming out of the club…but I barely got any of it on video because I was drunk. I did try to hustle a black girl and that was a first for me. It wasn’t a success because some male model type was handing out roses to all the girls and that made all their panties wet, if they were even wearing panties…which made the floor wet…either way, I was upstaged by him and I was only doing it because I figured she wouldn’t mind my stink.

Here’s the rest of my videos from that night I can’t embed the shit…So Click the Link…
GO

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2007

Jul

I am – Jenna Jameson at some Party of the Day

16 Comments »

I don’t find Jenna Jameson hot at all. I know she’s a dirty washed up porn slut who everyone gives credit to for being such a great business woman in writing books, producing porn, selling molds of her cunt and doing whatever else she does to make money, but when I look at her I just see a whore and I have never really had anything against whores, I’d pay them for sex and shit, but I never wanted to make them my girlfriend and when I could jerk off I’d never jerk off to them, because the thought of being so dirty and loose in the hips, always made me more sick to my stomach than anything else.

I am not trying to say that I would only prey on virgins, but there was a time when I’d meet girls in bars and we’d get to talking and they’d tell me how many dude’s they had banged in their lifetime and I’d take the drink I bought them out of their hand and dump it out on the floor, because it’s easy for a bitch to get cock, all they have to do is leave the house and when a bitch gets as much cock as someone like Jenna, they have emotional issues. In her case, I get that it’s her job, but it’s not a very hard job to get in and being successful at what she does is a lot easier than getting that promotion at the shitty office you work at. If the world worked like a porn movie, the richest people in the world would be the ones who can take the most dicks in their ass, and that is why I have no respect for this talentless prostitute.

I knew this stripper who I’d run into on the street and shit, outside the club and working hours. She was always with a different guy. When I asked her where she met all these dudes, she would say at work or at clubs. I would ask why she hangs with them and she’d say because they buy me stuff, they take me on vacation and take me to nice restaurants. When I told her that she was a whore because she made it clear that she would bang them, she said something like it’s not like they pay me in cash. Point being that money hungry bitches who know that loser dudes pay for their company and use their pussies to get ahead are trash.

Either way, I figured I’d post pictures of her partying to remind you that disgusting sluts are out there and people like you like them

2007

Jun

I am – Kim Kardashian Parties at Marquee of the Day

2 Comments »

If you were sitting at home last night wondering where Kim Kardashian was out partying last night, you have serious fucking issues. Unfortunately, I know where she was partying last night because I guess I have serious fucking issues. It would seem like I actually care about this Armenian fashion accessory who is trying to make it on her own by breaking free from her criminal mentor while she is in Jail to develop her own career as a useless slut, but at least she’s doing it with tits. But I don’t. Having the best site on the internet that no one reads means I get shit emailed to me.

I am not sure who she’s out with, but it looks like her sister, or maybe bitch is like Sadam and has a group of 10 look-a-likes so that she can be in 11 places at the same time, and they are just meeting up not to exchange notes on where the stand in Kardashian’s gotta go. I am bad when it comes to ethnic people, I am not talking black or white or hispanic, I am talking middle eastern and asian, motherfuckers all look the fucking same.

We have all seen Kardashian get fucked, now we can see her text message friends which is eventually going to become the new porno because everytime I go out that seems to be what everyone in the place is doing. It’s like there was a time when girls would dance, and get drunk and talk to you, but now there are just groups of people at tables text messaging people who aren’t there making the party feel like a gamers convention at the 24 hour internet cafe. I predict that Girls Gone Wild 2010 is going to be a whole lot of naughty text messaging parties and instead of watching girls flash their tits to the camera, they’ll flash their text messages so that we can read all the sexy drunk talk that’s going down.

I am not even going to talk about her fat arms, because I am fat, and who really fucking cares if she has fat arms other than her. I know that her thickness wouldn’t stop you from slammin her, and by slammin I mean jerkin off to her sex tape because you like nature channel shit with haggard tranny pornstar lookin’ chicks in them.

Pictures Via thecobrasnake

2007

Jun

I am – Steve Aoki Does Montreal of the Day

59 Comments »

So I wrote a bit about my night at the shitty high end club with people who think they are high end because they have rich parents or good jobs and don’t mind spending 1000 dollars a night on bottles of Grey Goose for their friends and women who like to hang out with guys who spend 1000 dollars a night on booze because they to drink for free in what they think is a classy place because it costs 10 dollars a drink. What they don’t realize is that the staff and patrons of the bar and the music they go crazy for is all shit and none of them have a fucking clue.

The big disappointment of the night was when a girl in a really short skirt was dancing on stage with her ass hanging out and I thought I was recording it but turned out I wasn’t. I had 3 minutes of bitch’s ass cheeks bouncing up and down…but drinking made me forget to record…..Motherfucker.

Bonus – This Girl Made Me Delete a Picture of Her and I Hate When People Tell Me What To Do, So I Decided to Snap Some Pics of Her to Post on the Site as Punishment for Her Being So Rude to Me….I just made you famous bitch….

2007

May

I am – Lohan Drunk at Some Party With Aoki of the Day

37 Comments »

I was sent this pictures from someone claiming they were of Lohan wasted Sunday night at LAX where she was drinking right out of the bottle with her lesbian cock Samantha Ronson . I am not 100 percent if these pictures were taken on Sunday night, because I can’t tell the fucking difference between all these Lohan partying pics it’s like it’s her fulltime job and she pretty much looks the same in all of them, which is not naked enough for me.

I used to go out drinking in bars every day of the week, you get caught up in it because you get drunk and drunk is fun and when you wake up the next day destroyed the only cure is to start drinking again. It comes to a point where you only feel normal when there is booze in your system and that can’t be a healthy thing.

I remember not being able to go to the post office or to a coffee shop without having had a drink because it takes the edge off, it took me at least 2 years of trying to pull of menial chores in public sober and I am not getting preachy here, I am just saying that this shit will catch up with Lohan in the next few years and bitch is going to be fucking damaged. She already looks like she’s in her mid 20s which may be a good thing when you get carded at clubs since she is underage, but when she is in her mid 20s she’s going to look 40…and her liver and vagina will be shot….

I’m just saying, I am not the healthiest fuck but if I could change anything about my life it would be that I took up jogging instead of hard drinking, even though it’d be a lot less fun for you assholes….but I’d be so jacked on endorphines, I wouldn’t give a fuck what you people think….

Posted in:Drunk|Hipster|Lindsay Lohan|Party|Unsorted