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Archive for the Party Category

2007

May

I am – Britney Parties in a Bikini of the Day

Britney performed in Florida and I read somewhere that her CD she was lip syncing to skipped and she turned her back to the crowd and re-cooped. It’s not all that much of a surprise, her entire career has been built on lip syncing and people aren’t watching her perform to listen to her amazing songs, they are listening because she was a young tight thing who moved better than most strippers because she had a choreographer and budget. It was like a big scale stage show without the nipples/vagina shots/lap dances/ signed posters/ etc.

Here are some pics of Britney wearing a bikini at a club, partying after her show in Florida.

I could probably write more and actually try to change your life, but I am uninspired….

2007

May

I am – DJ AM is Gayer than Bicycle Shorts of the Day

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I emailed DJ AM a while ago because I heard he was playing in Montreal. He never emailed me back. I asked him for guestlist because I figured we were friends, you know with me always speaking so highly of him and shit, but I was wrong. The motherfucker never emailed me back, he never put me on the list and I was forced to go through one of my stepdaughter’s friends to get in because DJ AM is a fucking cocksucker.

I got to the event and it was filled with so many fucking chachi pieces of shit. I felt like it was a Diesel Jeans sample sale and every Italian and his cousin came out to get a deal. AM came in with 4 bodyguards because he feels like he is more important than he really is and this is a video of him and one of his boyfriends trying to fix his DJ set up. I knew when I saw them that their relationship consisted of more than just fixing DJ equipment but this was as close as I got to the asshole giving the dude with the flashlight a rim job…

I left after 10 minutes because there is only so much overpaid Bar Mitvah DJing that I can handle and I heard dude made 6,000 dollars to play for all these fucking losers, and that probably means that this fucker is overpaid and that even though this video won’t make me 6,000 dollars, at least I go to bed knowing that I didn’t get to the top by sticking my lame penis up in Nicole Richie’s 90 pound cooch, not that I wouldn’t, but I just didn’t.

I may be drunk and this may be a drunk edit, but I think if you focus on the video, you can tell that DJ AM is a popstar that is Gayer than Bicycle shorts. The way this cocksucker handles his vinyl will make any queer dream of him diddling their anus….That means you….Homo… Cuddles…

PS – DJ AM, Next Time You Should Put Me On the Guestlist. Asshole.

2007

May

I am – Lohan is a Coke slut and I hate SPAM of the Day

1 Comment »

Is my site Spamming you with popups? I am trying a new advertiser because I need to pay for servers and I have got 5 complaints. If it is happening to enough of you I will take them down ASAP because I fucking hate spammy fucking popups more than you do and even thought I don’t give a fuck about your user experience because I hate you, I do not want that shit polluting my internet home…Trust me.

Speaking of SPAM, here are some more pictures of Lohan doing blow from that video taken in the bathroom….

Here are some pictures of bitch sketching out on her nails. I am not an expert but all the crackwhores I knew used to do this shit when they were either coming off or jonesing more crystal/crack/cocaine/heroin…I’m just sayin…

Here she is partying with L.A. Hipster DJ Steve Aoki in NYC…For those of you who don’t know, Aoki is the asshole who didn’t put DrunkenStepfather on his guestlist when he came to play in Canada with that dude from That 70’s Show…

Posted in:Cocaine|Hipster|Lindsay Lohan|Party|Unsorted

2007

May

I am – Lohan is Obviously a Drug Addicted Party Slut of the Day

3 Comments »

This bitch is slowly starting to look like Chris Farley before he died of a cocaine overdose. She’s bloated as fuck and her face is hanging off. Her eyes have fucked up yellow bags under them and she looks like she hasn’t slept in days. I have slept with crack whores and I know what to look for. I am just hoping this bitch doesn’t die, because I’d have no one else to stalk…

I was walking down the street today and some drunken homeless guy who looked like Lohan was sitting on a city bench screaming for change from people passing by. He even asked me and I looked more homeless than he did. I think it was because he was wearing some kind of old man hat that made him look like a detective while I was just in my regular jogging pants. Anyway, all motherfucker did was sit there and yell and everyone who walked by him and obviously no one was giving him shit. So I took the asshole aside and told him that if he wanted to make some money, all he needed was some kind of act, whether it be a song or a dance or juggling or anything. If people saw him trying, they’d be more inclined to give him cash. The asshole just spat in my face and I am sure gave me some kind of Hepatitis like I was Pam Anderson, but when I walked by him an hour later, he seemed to take my advice. A group of highschool girls were walking by him and he fully dropped his pants and started jerking off for them. They ran away screaming and even though I thought he went a little too far, I was happy to see him make an effort. I think I felt the joy a teacher experiences when their troubled student graduates highschool. or what a coach feels when his weakest player makes his first goal. It was pretty fucking nice…Unlike these pics of Lohan looking haggard and on the verge of death…But I would still K-Fed her if I was cool enough to be her back-up dancer….

2007

May

I am – Jannel Syzyska Story Set Straight of the Day

2 Comments »

So I posted about some Girls Gone Wild bitch who claimed she was a virgin and that Joe Francis raped her a long time ago. The post can be found HERE , ignore all the spam in my comments…it happens.

Anyway, I was checking my email and I got some inside scoop on the slut that I felt like I needed to post. I can only assume it’s her friend trying to get more buzz going about her in hopes of landing a porn video gig or a penthouse magazine spread, but I’ll still post it because I never get any scoop and when I do, it makes me feel like a real media company….and sometimes pretending you’re not a waste of internet space is a good thing….

So, I just recently came across an article in the L.A. times about Jannel Syzyska, and about how Joe Francis “raped her”.

I used to be pretty good friends with Jannel, (in the early pre-whore days – seventh grade to be exact.) but when an unfortunate incident involving her and her friend Kaitlyn stealing my underwear occurred, we lost touch, so to say.

Then last year, one of my friends became close friends with Jannel, and I started showing up to parties that she happened to be at and so on..

So Jannel and I got kind of close again, and she revealed to me everything about her, one tidbit being that she had lost her virginity in April to some guy she doesn’t even remember. And she revealed that she did not want to have sex with anybody for a long time because of the fact that she had had sex with quite a few guys since then…

So when I finally did come across this yesterday, I was shocked. I’ve lost touch with her since the beginning of last June.. but in November of last year I had seen her a few times through a mutual friend.. and she had told me that she “went on girls gone wild and masturbated for the camera.” However, she said that she had HAD SEX with Joe Francis, not that he “raped her.”

I know I’m quite late on a story like this.. but I figured I would set the record straight (as if it hadn’t been set straight enough) that she did have sex with him, he did not rape her, and she was not a virgin.

I had no idea that she was all over the internet with her “rape story” or I would have definitely set that straight sooner.

Yes, Joe Francis isn’t the epitomy of class and charm.. but I’m sure he has the opportunity to have sex with much better looking girls without forcing them. So why he would even force sex onto someone like Jannel is baffling.

I don’t know why I felt compelled to write you this e-mail when it was so long ago, and you probably won’t read or respond really, but that enrages me that she would seek fame that much to make up stories.

Thanks for your time and sorry to rant, but I just had to.

All that to say…who really gives a fuck…Cuddles.

2007

May

I am – Lohan Cocaine Video Screenshots of the Day

1 Comment »

I am a bad celebrity blogger. I just woke up hungover and don’t remember what happened last night. I just checked my email and someone got their hands on the screenshots of Lohan doing blow video and I didn’t care. I am not 100 percent sure how this isn’t staged, because everyone knows that if you’re famous and doing blow on camera it is going to get out on the internet and millions of people will see it. But who knows, maybe the bitch isn’t trying to stage things for her popularity. Cocaine is cool now, it’s like smoking. Everytime I go to a bar and need to take a shit, I am stuck waiting in line for 10 minutes while 3 or 4 guys go in the stall together. As much as I like to think it was some homo bathroom stall anal sex conference, because I am convinced all chachi motherfuckers are faggots, it’s really just time for them to prove how cool and trendy and in style they are amongst friends, huddled around a bag.

I don’t feel like ripping off the pictures from a message board and uploading the shit. I don’t feel like reading up on what is said during the video, I do know that it will be hitting sometime this week and this is just the PR screenshot teaser to get you all excited about the video to come. It’s pretty basic marketing practices…

Read the whole story and see all the screenshots Here (if you care)

2007

May

I am – Lohan Partying at Some Event in her Bra of the Day

1 Comment »

Thanks to facebook groups, I realized that the event everyone was freaking out about Lohan being in her bra and cocaine being found in the VIP room at the Twin Palms Estate last weekend was organized by a club I can’t get into because I don’t wash. To see the pictures I am talking about CLICK THIS LINK.

These pictures of Lohan were put up in their group today and I figured I’d post them because I didn’t see them anywhere else. The event was called Music Loves Fashion and Steve Aoki and some dude named DJ Skeet Skeet were DJing. From the pics Paris Hilton and Lohan were both getting down and dirty, but that’s to be expected because they are party sluts….

I used to go to clubs and get drunk and be an asshole to people I knew. Maybe it was because they were landing hot girls and I was getting kicked out for passing out on the bathroom floor, but in my drunken stupor, I used to go around and tell girls my friends were trying to sleep with that my friend had Aids, they would get pissed off at me, but still go home with them, but would make them wear a condom

The next day I’d get the call saying how much of an asshole I was for fucking up their chances to have raw dog sex and I’d just say that I am a modern day superman because any bitch who goes home with a guy you tell her has AIDS is probably not the kind of girl you want to end up fucking without a condom….

Point of the story is that I save fucking lives and here are pics of Lohan destroying hers….I guess I coulda gone with the whole Paris and Lohan being the kind of girl you would end up baggin without a condom only to beat yourself up the next day for doing it and getting tested monthly for the next 3 years because of it, but I guess that woulda been too obvious for me to do…

PS – Since every blogger steals exclusive pics, I figured I’d watermark it my way, with a solid cumshot on every fuckin’ pic….admit it’s amazing.

Bonus Picture – Lohan at Coachella With Her Lesbian Lover via thecobrasnake

Related Posts:

I am – Lohan’s Partying in Pantyhose

I am – Lohan Drunk Partying

I am – Lohan Parties in Japan