When living on the street one of the best days you can have is when some asshole throws out his soiled mattress because it gives you something more comfy than cement to sleep on and since you’re homeless you don’t give a fuck about the rash and bites you get from whatever the fuck is living in the AIDS mattress you found. It coulda be a bed used by a dude who likes golden showers or maybe someone died while asleep on the mattress a couple days earlier, maybe the person who owned it had the flesh eating disease or scabies…but shit doesn’t matter cuz you’re homeless, you’re just so fucking happy that you just want to jump up and down on your new found gift from god to the High School Musical soundtrack….Cuddles.
- SFW
- NSFW(18+)
Archive for the stepTV Category
2007
12
Sep
I am – Topless Dancer of the Day
I decided that my biggest problem, besides not being able to write is remembering funny shit I think throughout the day. I was walking down the street the other day, because I decided to get outside before it snows and so many seemingly funny things came to my mind, but I am like a retarded kid who probably understands everything around me but instead I just smack my head against the wall over and over until my handler tugs on the leash, only I don’t have a handler. Sometimes I wish wi was break free from my constantly trying to remember funny shit, rip my shirt off and start dancing. This dude is an inspiration to us all…now if only he was a chick in a bikini….
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2007
06
Sep
I am – Duck Doctors of the Day
I am not sure why I am posting this. There are no sluts. There are no homeless people. It’s just a video from a restaurant in China that I thought was fucking strange. To be served by men dressed like doctors seemed like some kind of weird sexual fetish and I was compelled to share it with the world. It’s not to say it’s good or funny or whatever, but I am sure you’ve jerked off to stranger things….so get going and think about how succulent and fatty that duck meat is or maybe you’re more into stuffing the meatless carcass like a turkey…even though it’s a duck because you’re crazy like that. This is some next level porn….Cuddles.
2007
05
Sep
I am – Hilary Duff Does Montreal of the Day
So I was told that Hilary Duff was in town and I wasn’t about to try to go to her concert because I don’t give a fuck about her, but I did find out where the after party she was probably getting paid big money for was and decided I should try to get some exclusive content because maybe that will make me famous…I guess I could have tried to rape and kidnap her too, I would have been on the news and shit, but I am too pussy to actually do that kind of thing…and I don’t have a car and trying to walk home with some famous bitch you’ve just kidnaped is a good way to get caught. So I email the promoter with some bullshit about how the site is number 1 in montreal, which it was according to the shitty local paper, even though I rigged the results, it still counts to me because they printed it….Bitch tells me that I am in, I tell her that I look homeless and that her shitty club has rejected me a few other times like when Christina Aguilera was there and when some other lame celebrities were there….but Bitch assures me that there will be no problem at all….
Anyway, I get to the event, showered, thinking it will improve my chances, but the bouncer doesn’t want to let me in, I was never on the list and I don’t belong there. I talk my way to getting into the doors and in front of a door girl and I show her my camera saying I am here to take pictures for National Enquirer, now I only have a beat up broken point and shoot I borrowed from my neighbor, and bitch bites, telling me to stay away from the actual party and to stay in the corner where no one can see me…..
I buy a really expensive drink by a pornstar looking bar maid and I wait for Hilary Duff to show up, I have no idea what the deal with the night is, I am just running off some tip someone gave me. I am standing in the middle of the area where no one can see me, and all of a sudden I get thrown out of the way by some huge body guard, I look to see what’s up and there’s Hilary Duff, looking small, haggard and beat up, giggling with her entourage….
I wait around thinking she’s going to get on stage or some shit, but nothing. I listened to some DJ who was trying to be DJ AM, but couldn’t mix for shit and was stuck listening to a bad 80, 90s and Today dance mix that made me want to kill myself or at least for one of the metrosexuals drinking champagne to slip some roofies in my drink to make the site a little more of a success….
A group of 4 people got on stage and started to do some kind of hip hop dance routines. I figured they were locals trying to get noticed by Duff because she was in the room. The bitches were in short skirts and were too fat to be famous, but I figured we’re all allowed to dream and sat and watched as their skirts rode high, asses exposed and dance…then I realized that we were watching Hilary Duff’s fat back-up dancers in all their gayness and I turned on my shitty camera. I somehow managed to miss all the ass shots, I even saw one of the girl’s cunt, because she bent over and her underwear was moved to the side and by the time I realized that that was the main show, it was over.
I chatted up some photographer who was there, tried to convince him to give me his pics, because as the dancers were dancing, Hilary Duff was pretending to DJ her own song that they were dancing to and I missed all the Hilary Duff action…when it all ended Hilary Duff walked by me again, with her entourage and bouncers, and I didn’t have a chance to slip her the love note I had written her, because I figured creeping her out was the best way into her life….
This is the love letter I wrote her:
Dear Hilary,
I know you don’t know me, but I know you. I write about you whenever your nipples are hard, your shorts are too short, your bikini too wet, your panties exposed, or any other embarrassing things you’ve been caught doing on camera. I have even coined you and your sister as the Duffgusting sisters. I know you don’t know me or what I do because only 5 people read my site, but despite thinking you are ugly and talentless and confused as to why you’re more famous than the hotter, tighter, better singer neighbor of mine, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you.
I think together you could really find happiness and through artificial insemination, because my dick doesn’t work, I could find a solid retirement plan.
With Love,
Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com
Here is the video footage of the dancers:
Here are pictures of her Montreal show, that I ripped off of some girls facebook, because stealing from Hilary Duff fans is like stealing candy from a baby….
Related Posts:
Hilary Duff Bikini Pictures
Hilary Duff in Concert Pictures
Duffgusting Sisters Do Halloween
Hilary Duff Riding on Bikes With Boys Pictures
Hilary Duff Scratches Her Ass Pictures
Posted in:Ass|Dancers|Hilary Duff|Montreal|Performs|stepEXCLUSIVE|stepSTALKER|stepTV|Unsorted
2007
05
Sep
I am -Dancing Girls at the Mall of the Day
So my friend from the park went out and got this funny video of girls dancing in the mall, I don’t find it all that hot, because I like my women a lot more haggard, but Harley is a pervert and this is what he had to say:
These are some high school girls dancing at a local mall. You care because you hate women and yourself, and the idea of pretty teenage girls being unknowingly caught on film and posted on the internet kind of gets you off. That’s why you have a boner right now, even though they’re wearing clothes,
I care because when I was their age, girls never paid any attention to me — especially the pretty ones. In fact, the only girl who did was the school skank that I lost my virginity to, and she paid attention to anyone that her daddy would hate. The whole time we dated, she was still banging her 18-year-old ex who drove a Mustang. I put up with it because I have no car, a small penis, low self-esteem. Coincidentally, those are the same reasons why she dumped me.
Anyway, a couple years later, I heard that someone walked in on her, her dog, and a jar of peanut butter. Even though that’s a played out urban legend, I believe it because the memory of her makes me feel worse about myself than I normally do.
Snuggles,
Harley Houston
Posted in:stepDAYDREAM|stepMOVIES|stepTV|Unsorted
2007
24
Aug
I am – Fat Man and a Little Girl of the Day
This video would probably be more funny if I claimed he was a pedophile, and just picked this little girl up by convincing her he has lost his dog and needs her to find it…and then made a joke about him taking her home to have his way with her while her parents looked around frantically for her. Even I have limits however, and though I don’t mind joking about things like AIDS babies and cancer, I think thats a bit too far.
My real guess is fatty here is her Grampa, and he’s taking her out for lunch and ice cream, followed by a day at the park, were he will push her on the swing set while she squeals “Higher Grampa higher!!!” He will drop her off at home back into the arms of her loving parents and give her a big Grampa hug before he goes back home.
It makes me pretty sad to watch actually, because it’s one of those things I never got to experience as a child, along with Christmas presents and clothes that weren’t found in garbage bags on the side of the street.
hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez
2007
23
Aug
I am – Homeless Man’s Hairdo of the Day
There is no price on looking good and I have a lot of respect for people who take the time to shower, get their hair done, wax their pussies, wear clean clothes, don’t smell and use all kinds of creams and lotions to make their skin soft. These are the type of people who go to the gym, who have hot friends, who get hired for jobs and who are pretty much living the life. I am unfortunately too fucking lazy to take any part in that. I like sitting, I like sleeping, I don’t love showers, I’d rather spend my money on booze than on haircuts, I don’t shave and I don’t work out….People say I am living the stereotype, but thankfully there are people like this dude who break down those preconceived notions and barriers and says “just because I’m homeless doesn’t mean I can’t look good”.
2007
23
Aug
I am – Homeless Man's Hairdo of the Day
There is no price on looking good and I have a lot of respect for people who take the time to shower, get their hair done, wax their pussies, wear clean clothes, don’t smell and use all kinds of creams and lotions to make their skin soft. These are the type of people who go to the gym, who have hot friends, who get hired for jobs and who are pretty much living the life. I am unfortunately too fucking lazy to take any part in that. I like sitting, I like sleeping, I don’t love showers, I’d rather spend my money on booze than on haircuts, I don’t shave and I don’t work out….People say I am living the stereotype, but thankfully there are people like this dude who break down those preconceived notions and barriers and says “just because I’m homeless doesn’t mean I can’t look good”.
2007
22
Aug
I am – Asian Rapper of the Day
I love seeing rich idiot Asian kids that are into hip hop and are thugged out like Lil’ Wayne and T.I, with gold fronts and chains down to their balls. It’s even better when they do so while singing along to Asian pop hits at karaoke, which completely throws any street crd they think the earn by the way they dress completely out the window. Sometimes I wish that North America actually was the ridiculous stereotype that they make it out to be, I think it would be a hell of a lot more fun.
hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez
2007
21
Aug
I am – China Dancer of the Day
To make up for my last stepTV clip of what seemed like a girl dancing with a snake but was really some ladyboy with fake tits, I decided to post this video of real girl at the same club dancing pretty much the same way but without a snake to balance the homosexuality on this site out a little.
I just got in an email war with some asshole who I was trying to get to advertise on the site because I am tired of being so poor. He told me that he didn’t need to advertise with me because he’s a huge site and my piece of shit site won’t do anything for him but cost him money and that he’d rather flush money down the toilet than give it to me because he would find that more gratifying….that’s how successful motherfucker says he is. So I wrote him back calling him a cocksucker at least 15 times because I find calling people a cocksucker funny and he wrote me back saying that anyone who uses the word cocksucker as much as I do must be a fag….My response is that i wanted to feel him inside me, because if you call me gay, I have no problem acting the part even though I am into pussy, doesn’t mean I can’t pretend I am fag…kinda the same thing as when you pretend that you’re straight even though you jerk off to gay porn all the time…but a little different because I actually like girls and don’t have to pretend I do…