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Archive for the stepTV Category

2007

10

Aug

I am – Not Helping Grandma Cross the Street of the Day

I decided to treat myself to McDonald’s today, because I slept so much, missed dinner, was in Asia and ate the weirdest food of my life and missed the chemical charged anti-vomit fake egg burrito that doesn’t remind me of Mexico as much as it reminds me of eating a bowl of dog shit like I did in High School while trying to impress some chick and later ending up hospitalized from some kind of ecoli infection that almost killed me, but I still like to relive that feeling every once in a while, it makes me feel alive and reminds me how fragile life is. If eating a bowl of shit can kill you, than I am pretty sure a lot of other things can too. But I survived like the cockroach that I am.

While at McDonald’s, some dyke with a Rolex was screaming at the staff about how this is supposed to be fast food and how it’s taking too long and how they should be paying her to eat there and shit, pretty much ruining my fucking glorious day back home after 15 hours of sleep. I was tempted to speak up, tell her to shut the fuck up and threaten to rip her fucking throat out because I realized on my trip that threats of violence get you places when threats of “shut up bitch” just lead to heated arguments that no one has patience for, the goal is to make them think you’re fucking insane, while knowing on the inside that you really aren’t, in efforts to make your day more pleasant.

I don’t think Canada is ready for my Asian “Rip Your Fucking Throat Out” approach and I didn’t want to get arrested again before settling back in here so I just listened to her throw a tantrum for 10 minutes, before my new Black Best Friend told her to shut the fuck up, she turned her broad lesbian shoulders around sized him up and told him that he may think he’s a big man but he’s got a little dick and she ran out of the place to go on with her miserable fucking day. After she left he went on about how she needs to get laid and I told him that she’s just a closet lesbian who is probably married and has kids and can’t handle the pressure of her husband’s dick because ever since her dad or uncle or schoolteacher made her take it up the ass when she was a kid, dick never looked very friendly. I think that threw him off a bit but I am kinda cracked out and felt like I was still dreaming and now I regret not speaking my mind, defending my fellow McDonald’s workers and being the hero of the morning.

I guess that’s how you should feel about not helping this old lady cross the street, because it’s a fucking Miracle she’s alive and the best thing to do to celebrate that miracle is to give her a helping hand, even if you are too self absorbed to even notice her as you walk to work to make your money to buy your expensive things and live the suburban life your parent’s want you to live. Enjoy.

Posted in:stepTV|Unsorted

2007

08

Aug

I am – Sexy Beast Outside of the Fat Store of the Day

I know it’s wrong to make fun of fat people, but the only people who say that are fat people, and skinny people who make fun of fat people behind their backs. My favorite fat people are the ones who know they are fat and don’t give a fuck.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez

Posted in:stepTV|Unsorted

2007

07

Aug

I am – My Own Shopping Mall of the Day

I can’t stop laughing at this video, and the music choice just makes it even that much better. some things require few words to go along with them, and this is one of them

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez

Posted in:stepTV|Unsorted

2007

06

Aug

I am – Opera Gladiator with Terrets of the Day

You guys are getting a good dose of stepTV today, mostly because I’m feeling lazy as shit today and don’t feel like writing. I don’t think most of you can read so well anyways, and this way you can just look at moving pictures set to music for your amusement.

As I’ve already said while posting, I will never stop laughing at people who do shit on the street for money, because I find people who are desperate really fucking hilarious. What makes it even better is when their so called “skill” is some bullshit that is too stupid for words, and the seriousness with which they take themselves.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez

Posted in:stepTV|Unsorted

2007

06

Aug

I am – Challenged of the Day

I used to be friends with this group of girls a bit older then me that were all in college together for social work. I’m not sure why I hung out with them, since all they did was argue with each other like the bitches that they were, and sit around in their underwear, which was useless in the end, because when I even so much as suggested making out or getting naked, they would get all uptight. I figured since they were in college, they would be into that type of thing, but I guess I was wrong, or they were just boring. Probably the latter.

Anyways, they used to get pretty pissed when I referred to “Challenged People” as retards. They would whine that it wasn’t politically correct and blah blah blah and generally just try to make me feel bad about it. One of them, who was the ring leader kind of, tried to steal my boyfriend this one time, but she got cancer, which for some reason accelerated the growth of her already huge ass. The Cancer went away, but the ass didn’t.

I still think the word retard is funny, and really don’t give a shit. Retards are pretty funny too, so is Cancer.

Posted in:stepTV|Unsorted

2007

03

Aug

I am – Beggin for a Misdemenor of the Day

I always liked skateboarding, not because of the tricks, but mostly because I think people falling over and over again is really, really funny. The only thing that would have make this video better was watching them get arrested and beaten by the cops.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez

Posted in:stepTV|Unsorted

2007

01

Aug

I am – Homeless Grooming of the Day

I like people who take pride in their appearance. You can be a fat chick or dude, but if you know how to rock it, you can look alright. Same goes for this guy. Yea, he’s homeless, and he probably has lice, but he don’t let that get him down. With hair like that, I bet he gets all the homeless pussy on the block and all the homeless hos fight over which one gets to take him out for dollar menu Mc Donalds with the money they got collecting cans. Ladies please! One at a time!

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez

Posted in:stepTV|Unsorted

2007

31

Jul

I am – Pre-Civil War South of the Day

My best friend is this guy from the Bahamas who grew up here in Montreal and went to an all white private boarding school on a Math scholarship. He has, out of anyone I know, experienced an obscene amount of racism and still does to this day at times (hes a computer programmer).

One thing being his friend made me realize is how all those assholes who think racism went out the door with slvery, or when black people got the vote, or didn’t have to ride the back of the bus anymore are fukking fooling themselves. People these days are just as fucking racist against blacks or mexicans or arabs or fucking whoever, they just aren’t as vocal about it. Which in the end makes it okay to them. “It’s okay if we call the kid down the street a fucking towel head, just don’t do it in front of him.” Fuck You.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez

Posted in:stepTV|Unsorted

2007

30

Jul

I am – Thirsty Rollerblading Pedophile of the Day

I don’t think I am ever going to have kids, mostly because the though of something growing inside me makes me want to throw up all over my keyboard, but if I did I would keep such a fucking short leash on them, they would hate me forever. And when old dudes at the park came up to them and gave them bottled water, I would spray them with my pepper spray and kick them while they were down.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez

Posted in:stepTV|Unsorted

2007

27

Jul

I am – High, and This Dolls Hand is Freaking Me the Fuck Out of the Day

I used to smoke a lot of weed and eat mushrooms all the time. I loved the feeling of my reality being completely altered and not being able to tell what was real and what wasn’t. Then about a year ago I had to stop, cause shit started to get really fucking scary. All the positive hippy vibes that made me love shit like that in the first place were replaced with dark hallucinations coupled with extreme panic, paranoia, and delusions that can’t even be explained. Now I just stick to booze, coke and cigarettes, and I don’t really get The Fear anymore. This video brings back some bad memories though.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Ever Martinez

Posted in:stepTV|Unsorted