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Archive for the Swim Category




Urban Outfitters Swim Campaign of the Day

I hate promoting brands who don’t pay me – because they are billionaires and don’t need more publicity…but I can’t help myself when I see girls in bikinis…even if the pictures are shit…because girls in bikinis are amazing…even when the pictures are shit…because they are in bikinis…I mean I even like fat chicks in bikinis…I think it has something to do with being from Canada and never really seeing girls in bikinis except on the interent…or maybe it has something to do with having testicles and liking half naked girls…I feel like this is not something that needs further investigation.

Posted in:Swim




Madonna Makes the Right Bathing Suit Choice of the Day

I am definitely not the ideal parent, you know the kind of guy you’d want your kids to look up to as a mentor and advisor. I’m not the person you’d want teaching your kids life lessons and important things like how to treat other people, or how to drink without puking, but that’s okay, because I don’t have kids of my own to fuck up.

Madonna on the otherhand does and I think bringing her 20 year old fuck toy into her kids’ life some serious asshole behavior, that’s the kind of shit that will turn Lourdes into some kind of daddy issue whore, mimicking her mother and ending up with a pussy that has seen more cock than my uncle’s chicken farm, not that that’s a big deal, especially considering those are the only kinds of girls who have sex with me, and the fact that Madonna’s got staff to take care of the kids and to let them know that what their mommy does is wrong and that she’s a horrible, vile person who I am ashamed I ever masturbated to, but the one thing she did do right is her choice in bathing suits, because a covered up Madonna is a far better Madonna than one in a bikini. Good job, you whore. Let’s hope you drowned.

Posted in:Bathing Suit|Madonna|Swim




Natasha Bedingfield Molesting Dolphins of the Day

This is a UK singer named Natasha Bedingfield swimming with Dolphins for some Bahamas resort called Atlantis that you’ve probably already heard of and who probably won’t be giving me a free trip for shouting them out on the site, because no one reads this site, but if they did, they’d probably hate it as much as me.

I guess the whole point of hiring this Natasha Bedingfield bitch to take pictures with their Dolphins was in hopes of increasing UK travelers to their resort even though people from the UK don’t know how to swim are pasty as fuck because they are scared of the sun and the only thing they are good at is griping while drinking pints and eating sausage, but who I am to tell some resort that they’d be better off hiring someone a little more local for their marketing campaign and that there money would be better spent elsewhere and that maybe they should lay off the beastiality because this bitch kissing a dolphin only makes me wonder how far they got after the cameras turned off….It’s like Atlantis Resort’s very own 2 Girls 1 Cup….only instead of it being 2 girls, some shit and puke, it’s just one famous girl with a big dolphin dick cumming in her mouth after taking her up the ass…..

The funny thing is that these pictures have the same impact on me as the time I walked in on a chick jerking off her dog and eating his cum, now that may sound sicker than it is, because it was and the story goes like this. This little fuckin’ lap dog was humping the shit out of this hot girl’s her hand in a coffee shop for about a minute before she pulled up a hand full of dog cum and licked it to make her friends laugh. I thought about going up to her and asking her to do it again so that I could make it my marketing program for the site, but I was too busy gagging and not the kind of gagging you get off to…pervert.

BONUS – Some Pictures of Her in a Bikini Top Because Bikini Tops are Better than Wet Suits…Unfortunately There’s No Beastiality in These Pics….

Related Posts:

Tara Reid Swimming With Dolphins
Hayden Panettiere in a Bikini For Dolphins

Posted in:Dolphins|Natasha Bedingfield|Swim|Unsorted