With new beginnings, come new goals and new ideas. I don’t know if I am going to continue stalking Lohan anymore. I haven’t decided yet. I did have a good time talking to the fake Lohan on Myspace. I am pretty sure she was a 15 year old Filipino. I wouldn’t be surprised if her relatives work for some of you, you know, cleaning your house and stealing your mom’s jewelery and shit. Either way, I am definitely impressed by the trouble they go to to re-create a celebrities life and to make their fake profile believable. They create relevant profiles of their love interests and they have fake Nicole Richie and fake DJ AM profiles leave fake comments on their fake Filipino pages and it’s an overall amazing time.

The reason I don’t want to stalk lohan anymore is cuz I don’t find her body hot. I am shallow like that, and like stalking looks not personality. I felt the same way about sex and marriage before needing citizenship, then I took whatever table scrabs I could find, married her and now watch her emotionally eat herself to death in hopes of it ending my misery. That’s the story I heard.

Bonus – More of the Slut in Action

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By “Get The Sun”, Kate Hudson means “My Son has more Tit than Me!”. Point of the story is that this bitch is beyond flat chested, and there’s really nothing wrong with that. It’s a good way to test your sexuality out….if you get off to her little boy tits, you can soone come to terms with the fact that we are into that, get in your car and drive to the local ice cream store and apply for a motherfucking job, if they are looking, you can apply to the local day camp, volunteer at the local little league field, start tutoring grade 3 math exclusively to boys, you get the point, you’re a fucking pedophile. Cuddles.

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By “Get The Sun”, Kate Hudson means “My Son has more Tit than Me!”. Point of the story is that this bitch is beyond flat chested, and there’s really nothing wrong with that. It’s a good way to test your sexuality out….if you get off to her little boy tits, you can soone come to terms with the fact that we are into that, get in your car and drive to the local ice cream store and apply for a motherfucking job, if they are looking, you can apply to the local day camp, volunteer at the local little league field, start tutoring grade 3 math exclusively to boys, you get the point, you’re a fucking pedophile. Cuddles.

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I don’t even know who this cunt is, but that doesn’t matter, because the excitement is not her useless purple panties, it is the fact that I have a computer again. Despite what the losers who read this site say, I did get my laptop stolen, I am an idiot for not paying more attention, I did lose the Stepfather Book and Stepfather Movie script. I did lose all the emails you people have ever sent me which after very little consideration, I realize is really not much of a loss at all.

So look at these panties or this dog, whichever you find most appealing, while I post more pics that my lovely internet girlfriend compiled for me, because she knows that I can’t do anything for myself.

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I don’t even know who this cunt is, but that doesn’t matter, because the excitement is not her useless purple panties, it is the fact that I have a computer again. Despite what the losers who read this site say, I did get my laptop stolen, I am an idiot for not paying more attention, I did lose the Stepfather Book and Stepfather Movie script. I did lose all the emails you people have ever sent me which after very little consideration, I realize is really not much of a loss at all.

So look at these panties or this dog, whichever you find most appealing, while I post more pics that my lovely internet girlfriend compiled for me, because she knows that I can’t do anything for myself.

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There will be no more updates today, some fucker stole my life and love, Brenda the lap top from my bag at Starbucks, where I go for free lattes. I am pretty sad right now. I will be back when I find 2000 dollars in the gutter to buy a new one. If that doesn’t happen, this could be the end of Stepfather. Remember to thank your local criminals for making this possible. CUDDLES.

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I have been dealing with Lawyers all morning because what I do is criminal. I was always told I was going to live a life of crime pretty much my entire life. I thought the school councillors were just saying that because I was mexican. But them saying that did in fact lead me into crime, not because I am some pussy who does whatever some virgin white guy tells me to do, but because when ideas are pounded into your head over and over, you eventually start believing them. The really issue at hand is that being an online criminal is probably the lamest fucking criminal to be, especially when you make no money doing it. Either way, I am not the type of criminal who will end up behind bars for this shit, I am the kind of person who will end up owing some celebrity 10 million dollars in damages, even though I only have an overdraft of 500 dollars on my bank account and that’s only because it’s a joint account with my wife.

Either way, I got no issues with little tits, but here’s Brittany Murphey pretending to be built, to start this sad day up. Cuddles.

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If I had an advertising budget, I would take this dude’s lead and take amateur porn pics for my ad campaigns. I internet-know the dude who owns this company and he wouldn’t tell me whether the model really sucked the dude off or not.

I don’t know this bitch, but wouldn’t mind knowing her because seeing her face in some stranger’s box for a photoshoot for a small T-Shirt company’s ad campaign shows her passion, commitment and work ethic. By work ethic I mean willingness suck/look like she’s sucking a stranger’s cock all with dirty little feet.

Visit Durkl Here – I hear the shirts are “fucking awesome”

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I had a Salvation Army story that I wanted to talk about in my new dinning room table post, but I felt like that post was long enough. So the story goes like this….I’m working at a warehouse with this weird motherfucker who had to be a virgin. He wanted to sell me a piece of shit bike for 20 dollars so that I could use to get to work, because I was always late when I took the bus.

So he asks me to go to his house to choose a bike. On the bus, dude starts telling me how he is a 3rd Generation Soldier in the Salvation Army. He said it’s a religious sect and that they go to church services and shit. By “they” he meant the married couple he lived with.

So I get to his house and meet his cult brothers and sisters, this married couple where the husband was about 6 foot 8 and in a back brace and the wife was about 4 foot 5 and 300 lbs. Either way, bitch had made a full turkey dinner and we ate on their front lawn and 5:30 pm.

Tons of hot bitches walked by lookin’ funny at me, cuz I was chilling with the freaks of their block.

After eating, then watching my virgin boss play with his crazy computer speakers and his “SINGLE” Murphey bed, I figured a way out. but the crazy 300 pounder bitch volunteered to drive me home.

We get in the car, she jacks up some Jesus music and prays for god to protect her on her drive. Bitch took that whole praying thing a little too fuckin’ seriously, because she was driving like Jesus was driving her car with his mystical hand. She didn’t look where she was going, she floored it and we almost died 7 times. It was the scariest thing I have experienced so I quit the job the next day. That’s the story I wrote.

So here’s a little Beyonce for you, because she looks like the kind of bitch who woulda worked at the Salvation Army if she wasn’t a singer. She does thank Jesus when she wins her Grammy Awards.

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I had a Salvation Army story that I wanted to talk about in my new dinning room table post, but I felt like that post was long enough. So the story goes like this….I’m working at a warehouse with this weird motherfucker who had to be a virgin. He wanted to sell me a piece of shit bike for 20 dollars so that I could use to get to work, because I was always late when I took the bus.

So he asks me to go to his house to choose a bike. On the bus, dude starts telling me how he is a 3rd Generation Soldier in the Salvation Army. He said it’s a religious sect and that they go to church services and shit. By “they” he meant the married couple he lived with.

So I get to his house and meet his cult brothers and sisters, this married couple where the husband was about 6 foot 8 and in a back brace and the wife was about 4 foot 5 and 300 lbs. Either way, bitch had made a full turkey dinner and we ate on their front lawn and 5:30 pm.

Tons of hot bitches walked by lookin’ funny at me, cuz I was chilling with the freaks of their block.

After eating, then watching my virgin boss play with his crazy computer speakers and his “SINGLE” Murphey bed, I figured a way out. but the crazy 300 pounder bitch volunteered to drive me home.

We get in the car, she jacks up some Jesus music and prays for god to protect her on her drive. Bitch took that whole praying thing a little too fuckin’ seriously, because she was driving like Jesus was driving her car with his mystical hand. She didn’t look where she was going, she floored it and we almost died 7 times. It was the scariest thing I have experienced so I quit the job the next day. That’s the story I wrote.

So here’s a little Beyonce for you, because she looks like the kind of bitch who woulda worked at the Salvation Army if she wasn’t a singer. She does thank Jesus when she wins her Grammy Awards.

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