There’s something about drunk women that drives me fuckin’ insane, and I am not even talking about their puking all over the place or emotional outbursts where they start kicking and crying and smacking me up with their purses. I am talking about how easy a bitch gets when she’s got a little booze in her. I have 2 strategies to get a girl wasted, so that you can have your way with her, one is that you work out a deal with a waitreass to make your girl doubles, and give you singles or virgins, just to retain the upper hand. People will call me criminal or a rapist for using that move but they haven’t even heard the second strategy I use, but I am wasted now and can’t remember it….I think it involves anus though, female anus. Yes, I felt the need to clarify. Either way, Aguilera’s husband looks like that jew motherfucker in your elementary school who never let you play with his expensive jew toys, now he’s doing the same thing, but with a girl we all wanna fuck…I hate him.

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I think with the way people are going insane arresting sex offenders is a good sign that you should limit all activity you spend with kids. That means don’t apply to be the lunch monitor, bus driver, teacher, baseball coach cuz even if you’re innocent some crazy mother’s gonna accuse you of it and next thing you know in 10 years, your on trial and all the little kids, now adults are testifying against you, saying you made them do things they didn’t like. How the fuck are you to know they don’t like jerking you off, I mean it feels so good from your perspective. Fucking brats. Anyway, I don’t wanna get more negative attention from the FBI, I just want to point out that I saw Mysterious Skin, and it seems like Lachey may be masking a relationship with a little boy with innocent games like bike riding. Maybe Jessica left him because she knew his little “shove your forearm up my ass” games. Either way, Mysterious Skin traumatized me.

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I think with the way people are going insane arresting sex offenders is a good sign that you should limit all activity you spend with kids. That means don’t apply to be the lunch monitor, bus driver, teacher, baseball coach cuz even if you’re innocent some crazy mother’s gonna accuse you of it and next thing you know in 10 years, your on trial and all the little kids, now adults are testifying against you, saying you made them do things they didn’t like. How the fuck are you to know they don’t like jerking you off, I mean it feels so good from your perspective. Fucking brats. Anyway, I don’t wanna get more negative attention from the FBI, I just want to point out that I saw Mysterious Skin, and it seems like Lachey may be masking a relationship with a little boy with innocent games like bike riding. Maybe Jessica left him because she knew his little “shove your forearm up my ass” games. Either way, Mysterious Skin traumatized me.

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Nobody cares about these people. Not because they are both moderately famous, but because they are spics and no matter how much money they have or how many drunk and lonely Latino mothers buy their albums, no one will ever really care about them. They are supposed to be dating, or something, which makes sense since they both speak spanish, but confuses me cuz I thought he was a poofter. I am mexican and I would never hook up with a spanish bitch cuz stab you in your sleep.

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I don’t know who this bitch is, but she was in Deuce Bigalow the Europe Version and now she’s in a bikini. Either way, Rob Schneider’s a cunt.

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I like the thought of being walked all over and that’s why this is the T-shirt of the day. I am too drunk to think of anything funny to say about being walked all over, I can go one of two routes, one is the asian rub and tug I went to once where the bitch straps on heels and walks up and down my spine, before letting me jerk off on her tits, OR, I can talk about the canning factory I worked at where my boss used to call me Pablo and treat me like shit for 8 dollars an hour. I am listening to Dolly Parton. She shoulda won the Academy Award. That’s my story.

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We’ve seen tit cleavage. We’ve seen ass crack cleavage. It’s pretty obvious that the next way from bitches to slut themselves out is with pussy cleavage. I guess this can happen when a girl rocks a skirt with no underwear, short shorts, with no underwear or just by giving themselves camel toes. I am not a stylist, I don’t know fashion. I do know I am a fan of the vagina, so this new trend works for me. Not to say the Pussycat Dolls are trendsetters, they are just a group of whores making way more money than they should. Now, this is where I would drop a story about the time I fucked an overpriced whore, but I am lazy, and I need to save some content for my memoirs. These pics are a day old. Sorry for the delay. I fell in love with wine.

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I guess it’s a spic thing, breeding like rats, where a bitch has massive tits to feed the fucking nation, since they are all too poor to buy cereal/milk someone’s gotta provide. In this case that someone is Rosie Perez. Know your role bitch.

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So motherfuckers are tired of me talking about my impotence. I guess it’s fucking annoying to read about people’s problems and I don’t realize that I constantly mention it, but I guess it’s on my mind, and since this is my site, I guess I feel the right to talk about it. But if that’s the reason none of you cunts are coming back, I understand, the thought of another man’s penis can be very exciting. Exciting in a way that you may or not want to come to terms with. So let me tell you a real masculine tough guy story, about a Chloe Sevigny sucking cock, like the slut she is, in Brown Bunny, and now doing full frontal spreads in magazines, bitch is crazy.

I remember that movie kids where Casper (RIP) started slamming her after that Telly dude (I think that if we make love you’d love it) gave her HIV. Point of the story is I love fucking bitches when they are passed out from too much booze/drugs, because they are too fuckin’ gone to realize this shit. I do this said fucking with my real VIRILE cock, because I have no problems getting it up. Not Will Sasso, if that is your real name, go fuck yourself. Cuddles.

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