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Archive for the Underage Category

2007

27

Sep

I am – Jamie Lynn Spears Cleavage of the Day

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The funny thing about these young celebrities is that being the hot underage chick who will eventually become a drunken disaster of a slut is like a role written by Hollywood, but as time moves on, a new actress takes on the role, so every year that’s a switch of characters and I sit here feeling like I am watching the same story unfold and it is like visiting the same strip club every month to see the same stripper do the same routine to the same fucking song. It is pretty much the equivalent of being locked in a room watching Seinfeld reruns over and over again only the rerun is always the same episode, but Seinfeld is played by some other Jew.

Sometimes you want to believe that this one is different, you want to think that she’ll break through and make it like a normal person just to switch things up a bit and keep us guessing. Sometimes you want to think that the cliche is just a cliche and that not everyone falls into the parameters society has set for them but what it all comes down to is that people are all the same and when faced with the same opportunity and struggles and their egos are fed the same way and the money comes in at the same speed and the interest from men comes in at the same time, they react in the same way.

I guess what I am trying to say is that new blood can be exciting and is welcomed, and it means a future of many new vagina lip slips, new nipple slips, DUIs, sex scandals and sex tapes and I guess I should be more welcoming to that, because the only thing better than pussy is new pussy and because otherwise I’d have nothing write about…But sometimes I like to think someone out there will surprise me. I still haven’t grasped that people are all the same and they always let me down, even when I don’t know them and they are just pictures on my computer, I still like to hope they are different because there’s no fun in knowing exactly how their public life will pan out, so I guess for this Jamie Lynn bitch, it’s just a matter of time, so until she turns 18, I’ll play the waiting game even though she’s not even that hot, but I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…I have no standards….


Related Posts:

Jamie Lynn Spears Goes to Acting Classes
Britney Throwback Upskirt Pictures
Britney Spears Throwback Crusty Vagina Pictures
Britney Spears Throwback Pantyless Upskirt Pictures

Posted in:cleavage|Jamie Lynn Spears|Underage|Unsorted

2007

24

Sep

I am – Miley Cyrus is Pregnant of the Day

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So a little life lesson for all you teenagers or parents of teenagers out there is that if you or your daughter dresses like this in public it’s just a matter of time before you’ll be driving her to the STD clinic and the Abortion Clinic because no matter what people say, suggestive clothing breeds slutty girls and more and more girls are dressing sluttier and sluttier every year, which is good on the eyes but also good for Abortion Clinic doctors and Birth Control Pill Manufacturers….

Miley Cyrus is reportedly knocked up and keeping the baby, she is 15 years old and although 15 year old pregnant chicks is a scary fucking thought, I don’t think that it’s trashy. When I was 15, I was fucking without condoms on or birth control pills. Shit just felt good and I was too excited to bust not to bother thinking of the consequences. Reality is that I couldn’t really have ever knocked up the women I was involved with though, because they hadn’t gotten their periods yet or they were already too old to get pregnant. I kinda like rollin’ on both ends of the spectrum….

Either way, like a good Christian country girl, she is going to keep it and I say that if God made her fertile enough to get pregnant in the first place, then she’s obviously got no choice in the matter. I was sitting on a park bench the other day and I saw a group of 15 year old girls playing with a ball. I thought to myself for a split second that these girls have gone through the bulk of puberty. There bodies won’t be changing all that much more, they have their tits, they have their hips, they have their periods, but they still like playing with balls in the park….meaning sometimes your body moves a little quicker than your brain does, let’s just call this one of those moments…because having a baby is going to suck for her. I can safely say that Billy Ray and his Achy Breaky Heart will be the acting parent in the situation.


Related Posts:

Christina Aguilera Pregnancy Nipples
Nicole Richie’s Pregnant TIts
Alena Seredova Is Pregnant on the Runway

Posted in:Miley Cyrus|Pregnant|School Girl Outfit|Slut|Underage|Unsorted

2007

13

Aug

I am – Hayden Panettiere in Some Short Skirt of the Day

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The other day I was walking down the street and saw 2 young girls walking with their mother. They were probably around 15 years old and one of them was wearing a low cut shirt with these massive genetically modified milk titties busting out of it while the other one was wearing the shortest fucking shorts I’ve seen on a girl in a longtime. Her full ass cheeks were hanging out of the bottom and I could tell that these were girls who lost their virginity at 10 and had their first abortion by 12. I am not going to say that I found them hot because I didn’t, I was just fascinated by the fact that their mother allowed this to go down and they weren’t from a trashy family, they looked like they were upper middle class and they were carrying shopping bags from relatively expensive stores and rockin’ expensive watches and shoes.

I am assuming that the mother was just one of those bored housewives who had lost her youth when she got married and is trying to reclaim that shit through her kids who she refuses to discipline because it would make her look uncool to them. She’s one of those best friend mothers who takes her daughter to get her first set of birth control pills, her first AIDS test, who scores her first bag of weed and smokes it with her, who demonstrates how to give a proper blowjob so all the boys like you kind of mom and I guess there’s nothing really wrong with that.

There is however, something wrong with Hayden Panettiere and I can’t put my finger on it. I am thinking it’s the fact that she looks like a stalky midget or some kind of weird bobble head you buy at the dollar store that was made in China and has a high lead count in it poisoning all of us to think she’s a cunt we’d like to slam. I wonder if it’s illegal to say that about someone under 18. I guess I’ll just leave it in and see if the Christian Groups come knocking, but I have a feeling they won’t considering they’ve been molesting pre-pubescents since around the time Jesus started the whole thing…..Cuddles.


Related Posts:
Hayden Panettiere Eating of the Day
Hayden Panettiere Picking Her Wedgie Then Lickin’ Her Hand of the Day
Hayden Panettiere Bikini Pictures of the Day
Hayden Panettiere Lickin’ Ass of the Day

Posted in:Hayden Panettiere|Shorts|Tits|Troll|Underage|Unsorted