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Archive for the Unsorted Category

2007

26

Mar

I am – Joss Stone's Upskirt of the Day

joss_stone_upskirt.jpg

I almost got arrested last night because I walked into a coffee shop to take a piss at about 2 in the morning. The over achieving cocksucker behind the counter obviously forgot that he was getting paid 8 dollars an hour, too little to care if someone takes a fucking leak without buying something and motherfucker ran after me. When he told me I had to order something, I called him a racist and told all the drunken sluts around me that he was a racist. I managed to find myself a couple of dollars to follow his policy of buy something to piss, and when I made my way to the counter he refused to serve me. He wasn’t happy that I called him a racist to his customers and when I said I wasn’t leaving without my tea he called the cops. I figured it was a better idea to leave than to deal with the police, but I am still confused as to why some racist cunt who won’t serve mexican’s who have to pee and who takes his depressing job to fuckin heart can get away with this shit. My mission for the next week is to get a video of him harassing me.

Speaking of harassing, here is some Joss Stone upskirt that’s an inch away from showing panty.

Posted in:Joss Stone|Unsorted

2007

26

Mar

I am – Joss Stone’s Upskirt of the Day

joss_stone_upskirt.jpg

I almost got arrested last night because I walked into a coffee shop to take a piss at about 2 in the morning. The over achieving cocksucker behind the counter obviously forgot that he was getting paid 8 dollars an hour, too little to care if someone takes a fucking leak without buying something and motherfucker ran after me. When he told me I had to order something, I called him a racist and told all the drunken sluts around me that he was a racist. I managed to find myself a couple of dollars to follow his policy of buy something to piss, and when I made my way to the counter he refused to serve me. He wasn’t happy that I called him a racist to his customers and when I said I wasn’t leaving without my tea he called the cops. I figured it was a better idea to leave than to deal with the police, but I am still confused as to why some racist cunt who won’t serve mexican’s who have to pee and who takes his depressing job to fuckin heart can get away with this shit. My mission for the next week is to get a video of him harassing me.

Speaking of harassing, here is some Joss Stone upskirt that’s an inch away from showing panty.

Posted in:Joss Stone|Unsorted

2007

26

Mar

I am – Shakira's Bra of the Day

shakira_bra_top.jpg

I was pretty fucking drunk last night and I don’t really remember anything funny happening except maybe the dude who I caught finger banging some slut he must have met in a bar on a park bench near the bench I rock. It was like a live sex show that didn’t turn me on because I could smell her ratty box from my seat. Don’t get me wrong, random fat girls who let random dudes finger bang them is what makes my world go round but I guess I am just too desensitized to appreciate it.

Speakin’ of desensitized, here is Shakira in see-through, something I have seen so many times a couldn’t give a fuck about it but will post it anyway because you are a fuckin loser and get off to this shit. Loser.

Posted in:Shakira|Unsorted

2007

26

Mar

I am – Shakira’s Bra of the Day

shakira_bra_top.jpg

I was pretty fucking drunk last night and I don’t really remember anything funny happening except maybe the dude who I caught finger banging some slut he must have met in a bar on a park bench near the bench I rock. It was like a live sex show that didn’t turn me on because I could smell her ratty box from my seat. Don’t get me wrong, random fat girls who let random dudes finger bang them is what makes my world go round but I guess I am just too desensitized to appreciate it.

Speakin’ of desensitized, here is Shakira in see-through, something I have seen so many times a couldn’t give a fuck about it but will post it anyway because you are a fuckin loser and get off to this shit. Loser.

Posted in:Shakira|Unsorted

2007

26

Mar

I am – Paris Hilton Does Perez Hilton of the Day

paris_hilton_perez.jpg

My 37th birthday is in a couple of weeks and I won’t have Paris Hilton at my party, mainly because I am not having a party. My 4 friends are too poor to go out and like chilling in parks and bus shelters, while my wife is too fucking fat to leave the apartment. I am not really complaining because I’d rather wipe my wife’s ass, which I do have to do often and hate every fucking second of it, then have to have an event that Paris goes out of her way to show her cunt face at.

I guess this post is a testament of where my priorities lie, as well as some confusion of why Paris’ tits are lookin’ so big even though I don’t really give a fuck about them. What I do give a fuck about is why Perez Hilton annoys the fuck out of me.

Posted in:Paris Hilton|Unsorted

2007

26

Mar

I am – Tila Tequila Bikini Photoshoot of the Day

tila_tequila_bikinitop.jpg

The funny thing about Tila Tequila is that she became famous on myspace, while I tried to become famous on myspace and got up to 3000 friends only to get my account deleted by those News Corp motherfuckers…I guess that really isn’t funny at all, but it does give sluts everywhere hope of getting noticed and the dream of fame coming from being a myspace slut and myspace sluts usually have pictures I would jerk off to if I wasn’t impotent. I guess that’s all I have to say about this slut, but don’t think I didn’t notice her wasting perfectly good booze by pouring it all over her fake titty self instead of drinking it. I guess she doesn’t realize that alcoholics like me find the whole thing fucking offensive as shit because I’d die to have that booze with me now, instead I can’t even afford a fuckin 40 of malt liquor and try distracting myself by looking at her lame fucking pictures. I am all about insertion pics these days and in case you didn’t notice she ain’t inserting shit. Go fuck yourself Tila Tequila and your myspace fame too. Cuddles.

Posted in:Tila Tequila|Unsorted

2007

26

Mar

I am – Jennifer Love Hewitt is Dumpy and Stumpy of the Day

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I remember a time when this whore was tiny with big tits. I was a with a guy this weekend who wouldn’t stop talking about skinny girls with big tits. He recently started calling tits “cans”, like this was the ’50s and I liked it enough to consider dropping it on the regular but probably won’t because I forget stupid ideas all the time.

Anyway, it looks like Jennifer Love has taken an interest in eating. Maybe it’s got something to do with her amazing career and life-changing show about Ghosts that I am forced to watch on Friday nights because I have one Channel. It looks like her boyfriend is even lookin’ at her ass thinking to himself that he didn’t sign up for this dumpy shit, she’s supposed to be that small chick with big cans, what the fuck happened….

You know that everytime they go out to eat, he hints at her to not get the dessert and to stay away from the fries, but bitch just won’t listen because eating makes her happy, and eating makes all of us remember that the bitch you once wanted to fuck but were too scared to approach will one day end up 30 lbs fatter, washed-up and has been.

Today is Jennifer Love Hewitt’s day to shine. Cuddles.

Posted in:Jennifer Love Hewitt|Unsorted

2007

26

Mar

I am – Maria Menounos’ Ass Crack of the Day

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I think this Greek whore is on TV and now she’s on my site, probably a high point of her career. This is probably from some shitty segment with that figure skater that is all over the fucking place lately, because Figure Skating is the sport of the future. I remember a time before there was porn where I’d have 2 jerk off options, one was music videos and the other was sneaking a mound shot during the figure skating shows that are constantly on my one channel. Today, the jerking off comes from seeing this bitch all fallen over and vulnerable with about an inch of ass crack exposed. That inch is bigger than some your dicks and enough to get a post on this site.

Posted in:Maria Menounos|Unsorted

2007

26

Mar

I am – Maria Menounos' Ass Crack of the Day

maria_maneunos_ass.jpg

I think this Greek whore is on TV and now she’s on my site, probably a high point of her career. This is probably from some shitty segment with that figure skater that is all over the fucking place lately, because Figure Skating is the sport of the future. I remember a time before there was porn where I’d have 2 jerk off options, one was music videos and the other was sneaking a mound shot during the figure skating shows that are constantly on my one channel. Today, the jerking off comes from seeing this bitch all fallen over and vulnerable with about an inch of ass crack exposed. That inch is bigger than some your dicks and enough to get a post on this site.

Posted in:Maria Menounos|Unsorted

2007

26

Mar

I am – Maria Sharapova’s Stretchin’ Ass of the Day

maria_sharapova_stretch10.jpg

I went to a random strip club with a friend of mine the other day that had the weirdest fucking thing on the menus. For 2 dollars you could get a plate of cheese and crackers, but I am not talking luxurious cheeses, I’m talking kraft singles on saltines. I can’t say no to the most ghetto meal in the fucking world because beggars like me take what we can get and I ended up spending my 20 dollar budget on 10 rounds of this shit…The highlight of the club wasn’t really the cheese though, it was the fact that the place was full service and bitches suck your dick in the booth for 40 dollars. I couldn’t test it out because I only found out about it after I spent my budget on their food menu, but at least I showed those whore that I was a baller with my 10 empty plates with 20 cheese slice plastic wrapping scattered around the table…

Speaking of cheese, here are some pics of Maria Sharapova stretching because girls in sports are usually disgusting and she’s the exception to the rule….

Bonus: While on Tennis here is a pic of Venus Williams proving that she’s like that movie “Ladybug” and really has a cock.

Posted in:Jocks|Maria Sharapova|Unsorted