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Archive for the Unsorted Category

2006

15

Mar

I am – Pearl Jam’s New Album Cover

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Looks like this cheap album cover was made by some drunken mexican design firm for 2 pesos and a pack of smokes. This low budget piece of shit album artwork is probably all this band can afford, being useless for the last 10 years has an impacr on what’s left in the bank account.

The reason I know it’s mexican-made is because of the avacado, we live off these things, because they grow for free in our backyards, and by backyard I mean, on the tree my shanty leans up against….the avacado is a very vaginal and I whenever I eat guacamole, I have this urge to fuck…the guacamole….Either way, I always forget that Pearl Jam is still alive. I have always had this fantasy that Cobain pulled a murder/suicide and brought the grunge scene down with him…I was unfortunately wrong….I am going to take a shit in my bathtub and roll around in it, just to wash the dirty off of me, and yes, my shit is cleaner than this shit….that may not make sense to you, but it does to me, so go fuck yourself. Cuddles.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

14

Mar

I am – Steve takes a Shit: Step TV of the Day

I am not the biggest fan of watching dude’s shit. I find it kind of gross and I always end up gagging when the smell hits me. I am from mexico, you’d think the smell of shit would remind me of my womb or some shit. But it doesn’t. It reminds me of death and all those bad things I was allowed to say before banning me for knives and squirrels.

Anyway, it doesn’t matter. This is Step TV video of the day, and it’s of that dude Steve who was living on my couch, only this time he’s shitting, in a bathroom way too nice for me…te

Posted in:stepTV|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

14

Mar

I am – Britney Spears Tongue

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Guest writer: Kelly Knowlton
Having been recently molested by JM, I’m having a hard time focusing, he is that bad. I don’t know but girls I think I am already developing a rash … good news is that Brit’s tongue could clearly do a job on JM that I couldn’t,because I am useless. I say it was for fear of losing my burrito. But it was really for fear of incompetence. WTF? No wonder K-Fed is still around with this Britney bitch,, it’s not for the cash, it’s for the BLOW JOBS BITCHES!! Her tongue is so massive I think I just shit myself and I’m a chick. Show me your titties!! Kelly and Brit sitting in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g…I am kelly by the way you fucking short attention span cocksucker. What? I’d kiss it. I’d lick it, I’d even teach it how to dance, even though it’s showered once a month.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

13

Mar

I am – Victoria Beckham’s Ass

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It’s a huge day for Rock and Republic. That whore Alba’s rockin a pair, and now Victoria Spice Beckham…..I expect my free pair in the mail, but they probably don’t make them in my size, because faggots who wear 400 dollar jeans usually don’t weigh 300 lbs. They have an image to protect and it’s fine with me because I am happy stickin’ to my jogging pants, they fit me proper and homeless people don’t ask you for change, they think you are one of them.

Point of the story is the Vicky Beckham’s got no ass, and that David Beckham hooked up with her, because she reminded him of a time when he discovered sex. A young “Footballer” back in England, in the shower after winning a big game.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

13

Mar

I am – Victoria Beckham's Ass

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It’s a huge day for Rock and Republic. That whore Alba’s rockin a pair, and now Victoria Spice Beckham…..I expect my free pair in the mail, but they probably don’t make them in my size, because faggots who wear 400 dollar jeans usually don’t weigh 300 lbs. They have an image to protect and it’s fine with me because I am happy stickin’ to my jogging pants, they fit me proper and homeless people don’t ask you for change, they think you are one of them.

Point of the story is the Vicky Beckham’s got no ass, and that David Beckham hooked up with her, because she reminded him of a time when he discovered sex. A young “Footballer” back in England, in the shower after winning a big game.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

13

Mar

I am – Kate Moss’ Coochie of the Day

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The thing I like about Kate Moss is her level of commitment. She has always been a hard worker in all kinds of glamorous magazine spreads. She has always been really skinny and even when criticized for it in the 90s by fat models, she stuck to her skinny and changed the face of fashion. Now all the bitches are skinny, and we don’t have to waste our time on some dumpy assed Cindy Crawford drinking a coke….when Kate Moss is in the bathroom railin’ a line…..Point of the story is that Kate Moss is so good, that I would love to have access to her panties, so that I could sniff them all day.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

13

Mar

I am – Kate Moss' Coochie of the Day

KateMossCaribTop.jpg

The thing I like about Kate Moss is her level of commitment. She has always been a hard worker in all kinds of glamorous magazine spreads. She has always been really skinny and even when criticized for it in the 90s by fat models, she stuck to her skinny and changed the face of fashion. Now all the bitches are skinny, and we don’t have to waste our time on some dumpy assed Cindy Crawford drinking a coke….when Kate Moss is in the bathroom railin’ a line…..Point of the story is that Kate Moss is so good, that I would love to have access to her panties, so that I could sniff them all day.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

13

Mar

I am – Jessica Alba at Home

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There is something really comforting in knowing what the outside of Alba’s house looks like. It’s kinda comforting in the way that I will collect cans for the next 6 months, picking them out of garbages and shit, to get my plane ticket to L.A., so that I can search the city over, with this picture in hand, looking for Alba’s home. I will find it eventually, and when I do, I will break in, run a nice bath, take a shit and greet her when she comes home, in nothing but a condom…I wear condoms instead of underwear, it’s cheaper. Either way, I think she’d really like that, and I would too….Alba….I know where you live and I am comin’ for you….CUDDLES.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

13

Mar

I am – Prozack Turner: Artist of the Day

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Some rappers are white, some rappers are black, some rappers are funny, some rappers are spirtual, some rappers are gay, some rappers are straight, some rappers are thugs, some rappers are artists, some rappers can dance, some rappers fuck mad bitches, some rappers hate white people, some rappers are rapists.

The rappers are rapists joke came from some douche who used to work at the canning factory with me. He was one of those guys who pretended to always get pussy and every morning we’d listen to his stories about how beautiful his cock is, and how every chick loves his cock and how good looking he is, but didn’t realize he worked in a fucking canning factory, and rode his bike to work, not his BMW….you see….you are only as good as your job. He got me fired for stealing beans to feed my family. I guess

I didn’t take enough time to find out who Prozack Turner is, but I did tell him I’d promote him, because I am nice and he sent me an exclusive song that I liked it.

DrunkenStepfahter Exclusive:

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Listen To His Exclusive Adriana Sage Ballad


Additional Links:

Prozack Turner’s Myspace
Free Adriana Sage Galleries

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

13

Mar

I am – Draw your Vagina and Descibe it in 10 words or Less of the Day

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I don’t really know where she’s from or what she does. I don’t know her real name, her interests, the kind of music she likes. I don’t know who she’s had sex with and how she does it. I don’t know if she’s talented, cool or just some weird introvert who plays fantasy role playing games. Her name, from what I know, is Sunny spelt with $ instead of an S because that is what hip hop has done to today’s youth. She messaged me on Myspace asking me to make her famous, I can only assume she thinks my site actually gets traffic, well the joke’s on her but lucky for me, she sent me in a nice drawing of her vagina and she described it in 10 words or less.

Visit her Myspace Here

Previously on DrunkenStepfather.com:

I am – Draw Your Vagina and Describe it in 10 words or less: January 25
I am – Draw Your Vagina and Describe it in 10 words or less: January 26
I am – Draw Your Vagina and Describe it in 10 words or less: January 27th
I am – Draw Your Vagina and Describe it in 10 words or less: February 6th

Posted in:stepBOX|Unsorted