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Archive for the Unsorted Category

2006

11

Mar

I am – Myspace Message of the Day

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I think writing rude myspace messages to people is funny. Even if no one else is in on the fun with me, I’ll just write my smack and laugh to myself, because I am crazy like that. The fact that one message to someone I don’t know can make them despise me is funny. My whole person is determined by 5 stupid lines that I write and that’s fuckin’ jokes. It’s not that I get off on making people hate me, it’s that people take shit so seriously that I laugh.

This is a myspace message I wrote to some girl who called me a grouch and told me to fuck off….her name Booyakasha, because quoting Ali G isn’t played out yet….

Re: Cunt…

why don’t you learn how to have a little respect. If you want to be treated proper-like, you shouldn’t tell people to fuck off. that’s rude, and no one likes cunt who talks back, that’s how you get spousal abused. Know your role, do your make up, do the laundry and make babies, bitch.

Let’s cuddle.

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

09

Mar

I am – Pherlure Challenge Update of the Day

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I know all you guys hate this feature, but I think it’s hot content and I don’t really give a fuck what you have to say. I do it for myself. I get non-stop complaints saying how I write the letters and shit, but I also get non-stop submissions. You all just have to realize that I am fucking lazy. I post what lands in my inbox, sometimes edit it so stop being conspiracy theorists and realize it’s a post that I do…if you hate pheromone sprays or if pheromone spray was used on your girlfriend, making her cheat on you, then look at the pics and then go fuck yourself…..If you want in on the fun…you know what to do…..I got this yesterday and it’s direct from a chick. I love chicks. By the way the ITALICS in the letter are the placed I edited out her long winded bullshit about how she’s not a slut but loves to fuck.

Jesus,

I read your site often. (I edited out her BLAH BLAH BLAH) I met a guy at a bar and went home with him. (I edited out her BLAH BLAH BLAH) We ended up hooking up and I had a great time. (I edited out her BLAH BLAH BLAH) and the next morning while showering (Thank got this bitch showers), I noticed a bottle of the pherlure crap you always write about. (I edited out her BLAH BLAH BLAH) I traded emails with the guy, and he sent me a pic I let him take of him licking my tit. That pic actually started the night off. I really hate to admit it, but look at what pherlure did to me. (I edited out her BLAH BLAH BLAH)

Post it if you want

B.

If you want in, buy some here

Remember to take pics/video of your experience and send them to me.

If you want to see previous stories, read them here

Posted in:stepPHEROMONECHALLENGE|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

09

Mar

I am – Teri Hatcher: Post Molestation Pic of the Day

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Teri Hatcher hangs out in a yellow dress in honor of her uncle who molested her when she was a kid; he loved yellow. She is seen with a fat bitch who was also molested when she was a child, but unlike Teri, took to food to try to emotionally eat the pain away. Why would someone steal a little girl’s innocence?? Is probably one of the questions they are asking themselves, and the answer is simple. They were probably sucking on popsicles, running around in Smurf jumpsuits, and sitting on Uncle’s lap….what the fuck else do you expect him to do….if only you were that easy now… I guess this lack of sympathy towards molested kids isn’t gonna go over well and I truly feel very emotional about having written about it. I am a bad fucking person…now come here and sit on Stepdaddy’s lap, you little whores.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

09

Mar

I am – Tit Infection of the Day

This is the reason people hate me. I post pictures of things that may not be considered sexy. Well I don’t give a fuck. This girl sent me in pics of her tits. She has an infected nipple because she got a piercing, trying to be cool like you. Now her great rack my go to shit when the doctors realize the only way to deal with this is by amputating. I don’t know where the joke is in this post, I guess it’s all in the nipple, but realize I don’t find this hot at all. I find this fucking gross…but posted it anyway because it is all in the name of science. It is the same reason I never got this rash treated, I want to see where it ends up…..

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

09

Mar

I am – Christina Aguilera Drunk

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There’s something about drunk women that drives me fuckin’ insane, and I am not even talking about their puking all over the place or emotional outbursts where they start kicking and crying and smacking me up with their purses. I am talking about how easy a bitch gets when she’s got a little booze in her. I have 2 strategies to get a girl wasted, so that you can have your way with her, one is that you work out a deal with a waitreass to make your girl doubles, and give you singles or virgins, just to retain the upper hand. People will call me criminal or a rapist for using that move but they haven’t even heard the second strategy I use, but I am wasted now and can’t remember it….I think it involves anus though, female anus. Yes, I felt the need to clarify. Either way, Aguilera’s husband looks like that jew motherfucker in your elementary school who never let you play with his expensive jew toys, now he’s doing the same thing, but with a girl we all wanna fuck…I hate him.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

09

Mar

I am – Nick’s Illegal Little Secret

I think with the way people are going insane arresting sex offenders is a good sign that you should limit all activity you spend with kids. That means don’t apply to be the lunch monitor, bus driver, teacher, baseball coach cuz even if you’re innocent some crazy mother’s gonna accuse you of it and next thing you know in 10 years, your on trial and all the little kids, now adults are testifying against you, saying you made them do things they didn’t like. How the fuck are you to know they don’t like jerking you off, I mean it feels so good from your perspective. Fucking brats. Anyway, I don’t wanna get more negative attention from the FBI, I just want to point out that I saw Mysterious Skin, and it seems like Lachey may be masking a relationship with a little boy with innocent games like bike riding. Maybe Jessica left him because she knew his little “shove your forearm up my ass” games. Either way, Mysterious Skin traumatized me.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

09

Mar

I am – Nick's Illegal Little Secret

I think with the way people are going insane arresting sex offenders is a good sign that you should limit all activity you spend with kids. That means don’t apply to be the lunch monitor, bus driver, teacher, baseball coach cuz even if you’re innocent some crazy mother’s gonna accuse you of it and next thing you know in 10 years, your on trial and all the little kids, now adults are testifying against you, saying you made them do things they didn’t like. How the fuck are you to know they don’t like jerking you off, I mean it feels so good from your perspective. Fucking brats. Anyway, I don’t wanna get more negative attention from the FBI, I just want to point out that I saw Mysterious Skin, and it seems like Lachey may be masking a relationship with a little boy with innocent games like bike riding. Maybe Jessica left him because she knew his little “shove your forearm up my ass” games. Either way, Mysterious Skin traumatized me.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

08

Mar

I am – Toilet Paper Dispenser of the Day

Here is our second edition of StepTV. This time it is a clip of a toilet paper dispenser. It’s the little things in strip clubs that get me excited. I don’t give a fuck about the lap dances, or the stage dances, or licking the pole, or 10 dollar drinks, or falling in love 4 times in a night. I care about the toilet paper dispenser and why the fuck it looks the way it does.

Posted in:stepTV|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

08

Mar

I am – Enrique and Paulino Rubio of the Day

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Nobody cares about these people. Not because they are both moderately famous, but because they are spics and no matter how much money they have or how many drunk and lonely Latino mothers buy their albums, no one will ever really care about them. They are supposed to be dating, or something, which makes sense since they both speak spanish, but confuses me cuz I thought he was a poofter. I am mexican and I would never hook up with a spanish bitch cuz stab you in your sleep.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

08

Mar

I am – Elisabetta Canalis: Bikini of the Day

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I don’t know who this bitch is, but she was in Deuce Bigalow the Europe Version and now she’s in a bikini. Either way, Rob Schneider’s a cunt.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted