I am a fan of Jessica Simpson, especially with her titties squeezed up into her chest, a pair of bootyshorts and an upskirt pic. I am pretty drunk and have nothing else to say about that. I know all you twats are annoyed of my rants. If I was with you right now, I’d kiss you. Not because I am gay, but because I am horny.

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No matter how many years go by, you will always be the bitch I used to finger my ass to in the 90’s. You may be asking yourself why I would be fingering my ass to any girl and the answer is simple, I am impotent and this is the only way I could induce a flacid orgasm, so stop being so critical and look at this Aladin outfit worn by Posh, showing off all kinds of parts of her body, like a good Ol’ Drag Queen, heading to Elton John’s Gay Wedding reception. I got nothing wrong with drag queens or Posh Spice dressing as one, as long as she sings “I Will Survive”. Not in reference to her cheating man, but just because that’s what drag queens sing.

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No matter how many years go by, you will always be the bitch I used to finger my ass to in the 90’s. You may be asking yourself why I would be fingering my ass to any girl and the answer is simple, I am impotent and this is the only way I could induce a flacid orgasm, so stop being so critical and look at this Aladin outfit worn by Posh, showing off all kinds of parts of her body, like a good Ol’ Drag Queen, heading to Elton John’s Gay Wedding reception. I got nothing wrong with drag queens or Posh Spice dressing as one, as long as she sings “I Will Survive”. Not in reference to her cheating man, but just because that’s what drag queens sing.

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This girl is 17,and looks like 35 year old chain smoking cocktail waitress. There’s something about a teenage girl who’s face hangs off her cheek bones that reminds me of mal-nourished street workers with syphilis. Syphilis is the new common cold where I am from and the exciting thing about it is that you can brag to your friends about having an STD, and it’s curable. It’s always nice to experience everything in life, and rumor is girls are turned on my guys who have had the germ….

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It must be nice to be rich. You can go into Agent Provocateur and buy all the luxury lingerie you want to wear from your boyfriend named Cash Money, without a care in the world. It’s like you wake in the morning and say to yourself “I want to slut out tonight to spice up my relationship, because I am an actor, and performing is what I do, even when in the bedroom with you”. Dude, the only thing my wife’s ever dressed up as for me is a fucking pumpkin, and it wasn’t deliberate she had some fuckin rash that turned her gut orange and we just made a game out of it. I always had a thing for pumpkins, probably because I never got to carve them on Halloween like the other kids, I was too busy reading the bible with my foster parents who told me Halloween was Satan’s holiday. Point of this is to say, Merry Christmas.

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It must be nice to be rich. You can go into Agent Provocateur and buy all the luxury lingerie you want to wear from your boyfriend named Cash Money, without a care in the world. It’s like you wake in the morning and say to yourself “I want to slut out tonight to spice up my relationship, because I am an actor, and performing is what I do, even when in the bedroom with you”. Dude, the only thing my wife’s ever dressed up as for me is a fucking pumpkin, and it wasn’t deliberate she had some fuckin rash that turned her gut orange and we just made a game out of it. I always had a thing for pumpkins, probably because I never got to carve them on Halloween like the other kids, I was too busy reading the bible with my foster parents who told me Halloween was Satan’s holiday. Point of this is to say, Merry Christmas.

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Vanessa Williams was one of the first triple threats back in the early 90s, she was Miss America, a singer and an actor. I think she’s doin’ some Stella got her groove back on this beach, not because she has a tight body, but because she is single and black. I am actually not a fan of women over 40, they become people to me and not people I want to see naked. That said, maybe this bitch should invest in a one-piece, maybe one with a little frilly skirt, and stop trying to re-live her youth.

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Vanessa Williams was one of the first triple threats back in the early 90s, she was Miss America, a singer and an actor. I think she’s doin’ some Stella got her groove back on this beach, not because she has a tight body, but because she is single and black. I am actually not a fan of women over 40, they become people to me and not people I want to see naked. That said, maybe this bitch should invest in a one-piece, maybe one with a little frilly skirt, and stop trying to re-live her youth.

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I am not going to make this complicated. I like university even though I never went. The girls go fucking insane slutting out, cuz they realize they have vaginas or some shit, and the dudes get to live out their highschool fantasies with these experimental slutty bitches. The people at PartySchools.com gave me a DVD to give a way, and since they are doing a good thing bringing these sluts into our homes, cuz some of us are too washed up and poor to see the real thing, I figured I’d help them out. Even though a DVD is a pretty shitty prize, it’s still better than a kick in a face, unless that kick is from some asian hooker with bound feet.

Now for the contest. IF you want to win a copy of the DVD, send in video or pictures of your college parties with bitches slutting out, and the first picture to get my readers hard wins. We’ll do a vote or something. Either way, you get a free DVD so stop your fucking complaining and realize that I hook you up.

Send Entries Here

Contest stays up for a week and there are no guarantees I won’t watch the DVD before sending it out to the winner. I am an asshole.

Visit the site by clicking on the logo to learn more.

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Sometimes ass gets itchy. It is the orifice that you shit out of – and shit is just filled with bacteria. I was reading somewhere that you should never eat shit because it’s toxic, and I once had a dog who shit all over himself and got a major skin infection. That said, I dont think Hilary is pickin’ a wedgie, and I don’t even think she’s got a fungal infection, her job makes her shower way too much to get that, I do think she’s got anal warts, or some other anal irritation, only because her boyfriend wears make-up and we know that dudes who wear make-up, generally go for the ass.

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