I started smoking cheap cigars, because cheap is what I do and I was tired of craving cigarettes. I haven’t smoked in 10 months and think about it at least 5 times a day, every day. I don’t inhale these things, but the act of smoking relaxes me. That doesn’t mean I like sucking cock. I also drank a bottle of wine tonight because I like to pretend I am living large. After a sobering walk I came home and told one of my stepdaughters about my sex life before her fat mother destroyed my sex drive with her cellulite-ridden ass. I don’t think she appreciated the story of the 19 year old who I drank a 40 oz bottle of rum with and the proceeded to teach how to strip to her mix DJ tape. This was about 10 years ago. After an hour of her running around my house with her panties off and the last of the rum was consumed, I told her it was lap dance time. When she started grinding me and shovin’ her ass in my face, I couldn’t resist diving in mouth first. So the lesson of the day is that honesty is more effective with a little discretion….especially when talking to your stepdaughter about getting underage girls (in the USA) drunk and teaching them how to be strippers. Speaking of 19 year old drunken stripping whores, here are some pictures of Lohan showing a tight-upskirt in the UK where she leaves a restaurant called Cipriani to go to a club called Kabaret, where she proceeded to get drunk, high and pregnant with an AIDS baby that she’s going to give to Angelina Jolie, because Angelina likes Aids babies and Lohan has Aids, at least that’s the story I heard.

Yes – She’s wearing Panties this time.

BONUS – NEW BOX SHOT

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