Diary of a Facebook Prisoner: Jesus Martinez DAY 29.5 in Facebook Jail The most valuable lesson I learned this weekend wasn’t how to make a 20 year old have sex with you. It wasn’t how to get a 20 year old to eat your ass. It wasn’t even how to cum on the face of […]

Diary of a Facebook Prisoner: Jesus Martinez DAY 18.5 in Facebook Jail Instagram deleted a pic of a girl in a bikini cuz my caption was “I just masturbated to this pic” I JUST MASTURBATED TO THIS PIC as a caption gets your picture deleted on INSTAGRAM What the fuck kind of world do we […]

Diary of a Facebook Prisoner: Jesus Martinez DAY 17.5 in Facebook Jail I tried launching my own social media movement today. I called it #whoopiGOLDBERGWednesday…. A photo posted by www.drunkenstepfather.com (@drunkenstepfatherdotcom) on Mar 2, 2016 at 1:20pm PST It was a fail….because no one cares about Whoopi Goldberg on Wednesdays…but for some reason 8,000,000 people […]

Diary of a Facebook Prisoner: Jesus Martinez DAY 6.5 in Facebook Jail Along with realizing how useless a platform facebook is, something I already knew many years ago when I had at least 3-4 accounts deleted pre this current account from 2010, and that they are censoring pieces of shit, which I guess realized about […]

I like to give girls bad relationship advice, because apparently, I am that shoulder to cry on for people everywhere, so I like to give the I think when things are done they are done – but don’t listen to me – I may just want to get in your pants…level of doubt… “Is he […]

I like to tell girls that I am into talking filthy, like absolutely filthy, softly into a girls ear, until she can’t take it and grabs my hand and slides it over her pussy…so that i feel her dripping wet…and I start rubbing..as she rocks her hips against me…continuing to talk filthy as she soaks […]

I told a girl “I bet you have a cute asshole”…and she went fucking nuts, and not in a good way. So I asked “would you rather I say I bet you have a shitty, disgusting, meaty asshole”… To which she said “talking about someone’s asshole is weird, especailly when they are your fucking waitress”… […]

The highlight of my weekend was talking to an overly PC girl, which is every girl, about how my friend was almost raped by a dog….When I hit the the word rape…she fully shut down and couldn’t fucking process anything beyond it…it was like “system meltdown” and she couldn’t figure out if the word rape […]

Today is a lot of people’s last day of work….they have the week off before Christmas…. My last day of work was around this time back in 2005. Dreams do come true…if your dream is to be unemployed, broke, dependant on your wife to pay the rent with her disability check, while spending at least […]

I like crossing the friend card limitations by sending female friends of mine videos of me jerking off to them, you know penis rubbing against my computer screen on their facebook profile…to really add strain to our relationship they think is platonic to let them know…I am a dude and if I had to I […]