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2014

05

Aug

Olivia Wilde Breast Feeding for Glamour of the Day

Breast feeding is trendy now. Not that it was ever really not trendy. I’ve been seeing girls breast feed in public for as long as I can remember.

It’s kind of what you’re supposed to do genetically. You know all part of being human, but maybe I just live in Canada, and maybe I’m a pervert who encourages tits to be pulled out under any and all excuses….

If I went back in my archives on the site I’ve probably posted endless stories of the tits I experienced feeding babies on my days spent at Starbucks and in the Park before being a reclusive.

What I don’t understand is why it is now a political play for Celebrities to jump on, only to think they are doing some great thing for mankind, by getting photos of their kid on their tit, as if it’s supposed to be shocking…when Cave men did it. Early fucking man did it. Your mom probably did it. It’s how you feed babies…

It’s like leave it up to celebrities to be self righteous about everything possible. I can’t wait til taking a shit becomes a trend and celebs start posting pics of them shitting, looking for some kind of encouragement like a 2 year old who just made potty.

Go fuck yourself Olivia Cockburn…we know that’s your real name…so stop being full of shit on all fronts..

All this to say, I dig babies going at tits like they should be me.

TO see the rest of the pics CLICK HERE

Posted in:Olivia Wilde

2014

05

Aug

Ashley Benson Hot on Set of an Adam Sandler Movie of the Day

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Ashley Benson is making movies….it’s for some Adam Sandler production because Adam Sandler has the ability to produce real fucking shit that makes a lot of money for everyone involved – since Hollywood is a real fucking scam…

Apparently, she’s making real waves (with her legs) in this new role…at least that’s what her ass and thighs are telling me as she runs…it’s like a fucking Tsunami up in that red jump suit…and here is the pic…

Close Up

The good news is that her tits are tits…and exist…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Ashley Benson

2014

05

Aug

Lily Allen’s Horrible Close Up Panty Flash of the Day

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I didn’t bother GOOGLING Lily Allen to see if she’s actually opening up for Miley Cyrus or if that’s just a rumor I made up, because I would have found it funny that her whole act is making fun of Miley and popstars because she wants to be one so bad, only for Miley to call her out on her bullshit and give her loser ass a job, out of pity, opening for her….I’ve made up stories about a fatter Lily Allen before…like her abortion she masked as a miscarriage that led to her blocking me on twitter, because I guess she didn’t like my tweets…in a pre cyberbully era..

But then again, I don’t ever think about Lily Allen and her sloppy, even when skinny, old even when not that old, mom of two even after her abortion she masked as a miscarriage body…

Until she flashes her cooter, a cooter you know she can fit large objects inside based on her size and her kids alone. I’m talking double cucumber…maybe even triple…not that we’d know since she’s got it tightly wrapped in panties..

I guess her whole experience in pathetic, desperate and there’s something fun about that…but maybe I’m blinded by her pretending she’s 14…we call this a midlife identity crisis

TO SEE THE REST OF THE HORRIBLE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Lily Allen

2014

05

Aug

Michea Crawford for Agent Provocateur of the Day

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stepGIRL who never was, Michea Crawford, who is one of my biggest regrets, is now the body for Agent Provocateur’s catalog and she’s fucking amazing.

As much as I love seeing this girl in her photoshoots, you know hometown hero, who I am reminded of all the times I used to go to the same parties as her in Montreal and I didn’t try to make her fall in love with me through interpretive dance, love songs, date rape drugs, or really any tools that would make a girl fall in love with me..even for just an hour…

Obviously, based not these pics, you can imagine that she was impossible to not notice, it was obvious she was going to go onto great things years later, like this…but I was too drunk to figure out how to be a part of that…or even figure out how to get her sit on my face…something you’d think all girls would go for…but that I am rejected for more often than not…I guess eating out isn’t treated the same way as getting blow jobs…

Either way, as much as I usually hate other people’s success, especially people I couldn’t have signed and recruited back before they were actual models, I like seeing what Michea is up to…probably because she’s half naked and amazing.

What a babe…

Posted in:Michea Crawford

2014

05

Aug

Lucy Hale Slutty Enough for Cosmo of the Day

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I guess Lucy Hale is some very famous young actress who I think is on the show Pretty Little Liars with other really famous young actresses you’ve probably barely heard of unless you watch Pretty Little Liars because you’re a high school gym teacher and it gives you a reference point to connect with your students before fucking them.

That said, she did Cosmo, she looked good, she showed some cleavage and was a little conservative, which I think is nice to see in this world filled with gutter attention seeking naked everywhere sluts…

There’s a science behind seduction, and even in this over exposed, sexed up world, I like to think, a girl who knows what she is doing, doesn’t have to show the world her anus to get loved or wanted…even though I love looking at anus.

You see I’m not conflicted, there are porn whores for the nudity, but the girls I actually want to jerk off on and to are the opposite of that.

That’s not to say I want to jerk off on or to Lucy Hale, but I would…here are those cosmo pics…but more entertaining than the pics themselves is her dad’s text to her about the cover…

Daddy’s little girl posing next to sex articles…bad girl.

Posted in:Lucy Hale

2014

05

Aug

Shana Payet for Bambi Magazine of the Day

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These are some possibly old pics of a model named Shana Payet for BAMBI Magazine by a guy named Marijo Cobretti, because after staring at UK Tabloid Whore tits all day, I felt the need to purify my soul with a hot little hipster model in a hot little hipster photoshoot for the sake of fashion, or art, or whatever…that I am just happy isn’t tabloid for fame..but rather because girls like being in front of a camera…

Posted in:Marijo Cobretti|Shana Payet

2014

05

Aug

Millie Mackintosh Topless on the Beach of the Day

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Jesus. UK girls are a whole pile of fun. This Millie Mackintosh is apparently a UK reality star, married to someone naked PROFESSOR GREEN. Who posted this video of her sleeping on their way back from IBIZA where she got topless because she wanted him to…

I like that on her BLOG she wrote:

I usually try to avoid reacting to stories in the press concerning me.

Bitch, you don’t try to avoid anything when it comes to press, because everything you do is to get in the press. I don’t believe you don’t react to stories in the press, because you seed those stories.

This kind of shit, you know the person behind the topless pics…is just everything wrong in the world…except maybe for topless pics…those are ok…but much more interesting when not intentionally in effort to get in the paparazzi….it’s like it takes everything pure and beautiful out of topless pics…and for that I hate this attention seeking pile of shit…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Millie Mackintosh

2014

05

Aug

Top 10 Kimberly Garner Rockin’ Side Tit of the Day

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#453172282 / gettyimages.com

The highlight of my life – you know the moment I thought I peaked but didn’t realize I peaked until it was too late – was when Kimberly Garner, an unknown UK scripted reality star, with one of the hottest bikini bodies I’ve seen, especially considering it is out of the UK, where most girls are Grey Skinned and shaped like a doughy potato, or like some trashcan stripper with absurd sized fake tits…giving her bonus points or some leniency when it comes to her bikini body…

Then she took it all away from me…by unfollowing me – reminding me that I am not relevant, important, or ever going to have her sit on my face…

The good news is that I’ll deal, there are a million other girls who don’t want to sit on my face, even really ugly ones, for me to forget exist until side tit at red carpet events happen…and I am reminded of the day they broke my soul…for about 3 minutes before remembering that I don’t have a soul…

Here are some pics of her tit, because I am not petty and I will celebrate what was and not pretend we never existed as one cohesive unit for about an hour…through the internet…

Here she is dressed for Prom….at some Premiere she got invited to cuz she made the “barely famous enough, but just famous enough” cut.

#453184272 / gettyimages.com

#453184254 / gettyimages.com

TO SEE ALL THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kimberly Garner

2014

05

Aug

Lisa Snowden is a British Nobody Crying for Attention Proper of the Day

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Lisa Snowden is a British TV host who I’ve never heard of, so I am going to assume you’ve never heard of her either, but she definitely is hoping people hear of her, because she’s simulating sex with some black guy in the park in her bra, which may be normal behavior for some street hooker trying to make a living, but not for some woman who has been on TV and who I guess has some level of fame where she is from. I mean at least enough to get the paparazzi to take pics of the shit.

I am not offended by girls with huge tits in their bra in public. I am not offended by white girls who fuck black guys. I get the appeal, not because I want to fuck black guys, but because white guys are little bitches..

I just think there’s a level of trash going on with this girl that is better suited for people who don’t get on TV…

I am all for girls acting like porn chicks. I am all for girls putting themselves out there and fucking in public for some crazy stunt. I just think girls should act like ladies. It’s much more fun when they actually leak the nude pics…because even though we know they are intentional…we can at least try to believe the lie. With this girl, it’s like, we get what you are doing, we will look, but we won’t like or masturbate to it. Which to me means she’s doing her slut hustle all wrong. She should hire me as her slut hustle consultant.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Lisa Snowden

2014

05

Aug

Lindsay Lohan Greasy in a Bikini in Greece of the Day

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Lindsay Lohan lives….even though her ass looks like it may belong on a corpse…the kind of corpse that would make me a necrophiliac because all I want to do is bury my face in this and eat it all up…only to see if I survive or get arrested for trespassing on the cemetery that is her existence…

A corpse that I believe will rise from the dead and pollute the world with more bullshit because as long as she’s alive, there is a strong chance she’ll have a comeback tour…where she reinvents herself and plays a broken girl who overcomes all obstacles that were in fact self inflicted…only to win an Oscar…I think her fake tits will carrry her through this…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan