The thing I like about young strippers is that you know what to expect out of their future. I saw a stripper who must have been 18 or 19, she had braces, fake hair, fake lips and most importantly a bad set of fake tits that were so fresh the scars were still pink. She has accepted her future and will probably end up doing gutter porn in some sketchy perverts basement for the internet and I hope that I am that sketchy pervert. Not because I love broken girls with fake hair, tits and lips who want to be porn stars, but because I have always wanted a basement.

Here’s a whole bunch of videos of COCO, that’s Ice T’s porn star girlfriend looking like the whore that she can’t deny she is….LOVE

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The thing I like about young strippers is that you know what to expect out of their future. I saw a stripper who must have been 18 or 19, she had braces, fake hair, fake lips and most importantly a bad set of fake tits that were so fresh the scars were still pink. She has accepted her future and will probably end up doing gutter porn in some sketchy perverts basement for the internet and I hope that I am that sketchy pervert. Not because I love broken girls with fake hair, tits and lips who want to be porn stars, but because I have always wanted a basement.

Here’s a whole bunch of videos of COCO, that’s Ice T’s porn star girlfriend looking like the whore that she can’t deny she is….LOVE

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One of my readers posted a link to his girlfriend in the comments, I downloaded them and this is me posting them for you.

I don’t buy this story for a second, not because she’s hot, let’s face it, she’s pretty much a candidate for a looking good sweetheart link… I don’t buy it cuz I know that you don’t actually get laid and finding pics of topless kitchen trash on the internet isn’t really that fucking hard. This is the kind of girl that you are embarrassed of getting a blowjob from when you pick her up at a shitty bar drunk at 4 am and a blowjob is all that’s on your mind, at least she’s got some weird obsession with the confederate flag. Fuck off.

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One of my readers posted a link to his girlfriend in the comments, I downloaded them and this is me posting them for you.

I don’t buy this story for a second, not because she’s hot, let’s face it, she’s pretty much a candidate for a looking good sweetheart link… I don’t buy it cuz I know that you don’t actually get laid and finding pics of topless kitchen trash on the internet isn’t really that fucking hard. This is the kind of girl that you are embarrassed of getting a blowjob from when you pick her up at a shitty bar drunk at 4 am and a blowjob is all that’s on your mind, at least she’s got some weird obsession with the confederate flag. Fuck off.

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I have been getting dissed by other bloggers for posting “OLD” pictures of Fergie working out and that Lohan coinslot video from 2 years ago. I wish I could say it’s cuz I have a life, but I really don’t. I jut trouble remembering what happened yesterday to that makes me incompetent in bringing you the freshest shit, but there’s nothing wrong with a little sloppy seconds, just think about how many guys the last girl you fucked had…

I guess what it really comes down to is that I don’t give a fuck about celebrity, have no skills in spotting celebs, can’t be bothered knowin what they are up to….I am too busy thinking about my next drink and more importantly, every single vagina I’ve ever seen in my life, on repeat like it was a scratched record or something.

I also have trouble remembering what I’ve posted about because I try to block the shit I write, probably out of embarrassment.

Speaking of embarrassment, my wife started doing sit-ups in the living room and by living room I mean our bedroom, because we are 4 people in a one bedroom apartment. She said she’s trying to lose weight to be sexy for me, I’ve called her fat so much that she’s stopped eating, I figure if she doesn’t eat for the next 8 years, she’ll look good enough, but that’s unlikely, I am sure she’ll be back to the donuts by Monday.

Speaking of donuts, here’s a Myspace message I sent a chick yesterday…..

Hey,

I run a website that features fat chicks daily, I wanted to know if you’d like to be one of the models. It will make you famous and it sure beats sitting in a donut shop getting fatter…

With Love

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

And here are some old or new Beyonce nipple pics…

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I have been getting dissed by other bloggers for posting “OLD” pictures of Fergie working out and that Lohan coinslot video from 2 years ago. I wish I could say it’s cuz I have a life, but I really don’t. I jut trouble remembering what happened yesterday to that makes me incompetent in bringing you the freshest shit, but there’s nothing wrong with a little sloppy seconds, just think about how many guys the last girl you fucked had…

I guess what it really comes down to is that I don’t give a fuck about celebrity, have no skills in spotting celebs, can’t be bothered knowin what they are up to….I am too busy thinking about my next drink and more importantly, every single vagina I’ve ever seen in my life, on repeat like it was a scratched record or something.

I also have trouble remembering what I’ve posted about because I try to block the shit I write, probably out of embarrassment.

Speaking of embarrassment, my wife started doing sit-ups in the living room and by living room I mean our bedroom, because we are 4 people in a one bedroom apartment. She said she’s trying to lose weight to be sexy for me, I’ve called her fat so much that she’s stopped eating, I figure if she doesn’t eat for the next 8 years, she’ll look good enough, but that’s unlikely, I am sure she’ll be back to the donuts by Monday.

Speaking of donuts, here’s a Myspace message I sent a chick yesterday…..

Hey,

I run a website that features fat chicks daily, I wanted to know if you’d like to be one of the models. It will make you famous and it sure beats sitting in a donut shop getting fatter…

With Love

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

And here are some old or new Beyonce nipple pics…

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I got into a situation today when I went to a friends house for lunch. He took me to a strip mall diner 30 minutes out of the city like we were on a fucking bus tour or some shit and when when we got there the food tasted like shit. So here I am in a fucking suburban wasteland looking at the massive parking lot we’re in and I start freaking out, I couldn’t figure out what the point of the expedition was because I guess I am not an explorer. To make the day worse, I went back to his house for beer because he felt bad that I hated the strip mall so much, we get to drinking and dude turns on the tv. Everyone Loves Raymond is on and dude starts launghing at all the shitty jokes. I guess I hate a lot of things, but at least that allows me to know what I like and one of the things I fucking hate is Ray Romano and he stupid voice and bad jokes…

Speaking of bad jokes, here’s some bad links….assholes.

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I just got home and I am drunk. I didn’t drink very much but I took allergy medication cuz I couldn’t breathe out of my nose and it fucked me up. Adding booze to the mix made it so much better. The night was a blur and I only had 3 drinks. I guess it doesn’t matter, I came home to find one of my readers trying to upstage me and I have no problem helping him outshine me because I am kinda bored of all this writing all the time and this dudes out fucking whores with dildos, something I’ve never been able to pull off all these years because sex toys were always way out of my budget and the one time I made one at home out of candle girls would get skeptical about rockin it. I think it was all the grime it was covered in, but that’s not the point, the point is that allergy pills and booze make a great fucking combo, but don’t talk my word for it…I heard it may kill you which wouldn’t be so bad cuz no one will notice you’re gone….

Here’s that comic strip.

Mr. Chris’s Comics. Episode 1: Neal’s Sisterly Love. See what you think. Was bored at work and couldn’t decide whether to go masturbate to the Sears catalog in the office bathroom, or tell a story with pretty pictures of fat strippers and dildos (all my photos).

They’re sequential…so you know…start with Frame 1. Enjoy. If you post it make sure to include the whole TOO BE CONTINUED….type of thing. I didn’t have time to finish the whole story, started fantasizing about the down syndrome chick who works at the Starbucks in our building….what I need to do is get some pictures of that…mmmmmmm…down syndrommmmmeee……

-Mr. Chris

To Be Continued…

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I just got home and I am drunk. I didn’t drink very much but I took allergy medication cuz I couldn’t breathe out of my nose and it fucked me up. Adding booze to the mix made it so much better. The night was a blur and I only had 3 drinks. I guess it doesn’t matter, I came home to find one of my readers trying to upstage me and I have no problem helping him outshine me because I am kinda bored of all this writing all the time and this dudes out fucking whores with dildos, something I’ve never been able to pull off all these years because sex toys were always way out of my budget and the one time I made one at home out of candle girls would get skeptical about rockin it. I think it was all the grime it was covered in, but that’s not the point, the point is that allergy pills and booze make a great fucking combo, but don’t talk my word for it…I heard it may kill you which wouldn’t be so bad cuz no one will notice you’re gone….

Here’s that comic strip.

Mr. Chris’s Comics. Episode 1: Neal’s Sisterly Love. See what you think. Was bored at work and couldn’t decide whether to go masturbate to the Sears catalog in the office bathroom, or tell a story with pretty pictures of fat strippers and dildos (all my photos).

They’re sequential…so you know…start with Frame 1. Enjoy. If you post it make sure to include the whole TOO BE CONTINUED….type of thing. I didn’t have time to finish the whole story, started fantasizing about the down syndrome chick who works at the Starbucks in our building….what I need to do is get some pictures of that…mmmmmmm…down syndrommmmmeee……

-Mr. Chris

To Be Continued…

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There isn’t much better than a sweaty crackhead doing some kind of arch thing with her back while hugging her boyfriend. In these pictures, that crackhead is Fergie and the sweaty arch thing would get me hard provided I was capable.

It reminds me of my night at the stripper where I saw a 20 pound overweight girl who must have been classically trained in ballet doing the splits all kind. I know fat people and without any training there would be no way bitch could move like that.I also saw three dudes walk out of the bathroom stall together, I can only assume ripping lines to help give them the courage needed to ask a stripper for a lap dance, because it’s not like it’s not her fucking job and getting a lap dance is a lot like ordering a big mac at McDonalds. It also reminds me of the stripper with cement feet would couldn’t get more that 8 inches off the ground on the pole, I am not a stripper coach but I should be, and this bitch was moving like she strapped down to the stage….the highlight was when an older mother hen stripper was on the side of the stage guiding cement feet to drop her top and flash her box….I guess all this is to say that Fergie dances like she’s professionally trained, does drugs like she’s trying to muster up the courage to get a lap dance and is a lot like a dancing monkey with people lookin over her telling her what to do and when to flash her pussy like the new stripper with cement….if none of that makes sense, it’s cool, I am sure you aren’t even reading…..don’t worry, either am I, Asshole.

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