So there’s this slut and her name is Abi Titmuss. A lot of you have probably jerked off to her sex tape and you probably loved her tits. I was under the impression that she was famous in the UK and I had no idea that she was a sex addict…I didn’t do my research about this party slut, but either way, she’s promoting some website and I took advantage of the situation and got a stepINTERVIEW done with her. It’s done over email and it took Abi Titmuss 2 weeks to answer, but keeping up with my no-editing policy, it’s a little out dated. So read it, love it, and remember this interviewing thing is new to me so if I suck don’t bother telling me, I realized I have no talent with yesterday’s interview with the producer of Stern.TV. So here’s Abi….

I have a thing for virgins so for the sake of this interview can you answer these questions as a virgin who is on the verge of losing her virginity, so that means a little horny, a little innocent, a little shy, a little confused and all hot. Are you okay with that?

Yes, I’m very OK with that. I love the thought of being treated like an innocent little virgin!

Word on the internet is that you are 30. What’s being a 30 year old Virgin like and when can we expect a movie about it starring you to come out?

Thats right, I am about 30. But we all know I’m not a virgin, I’ve been fucked so many times I don’t think I’ll ever be a real virgin again! I have made a full length porno called “Abi Rides Againâ€? but I certainly didn’t play a virgin in it – I played myself! I’ve done a few other full length films and I’ve got some really fun ones in the pipeline, like a lesbian porno with my friends Jodie Marsh and Linsey Dawn McKenzie.

Halloween is coming in the next couple of weeks what are you going to be dressing up as, the average girl uses Halloween as an excuse to show off their Yoga asses, but I have a feeling you are more into using it as an excuse to wear a jogging suit, with your hair all ratty and no make-up….since you dress like a whore in your everyday life on the regular…discuss.

I went to a party dressed as a horny witch. With a short black miniskirt, a black see through top and ripped black stockings. All topped off with a big witches hat! I got plenty of attention from guys and girls. In fact there was one girl who I took back to my place that night, and we filmed it for my website totallytitmuss.com I love filming myself – I’m like that guy in Sex Lies and Videotape!

I was thinking of dressing up like a rapist and hiding under your bed so that one night when you are asleep all alone, I’d jump out with an erection and scream boo. Do you think that’d scare you or would my pathetic excuse for a penis make you laugh, further humiliating me to the point of realizing that I can’t do nothing right….I forgot what the question was….

I think I’d have to see your penis first! I don’t like the idea of rape but I do like the idea of being taken by surprise.

When did you realize that guys wanted to fuck you?

When I was 15 years old. I was a typical blonde girl with tits that seemed too big for her schoolgirl body. All the guys tried it on, and some of them got some as well. I miss the good old days when I could be innocent, I think that is why I’m so addicted to sex with girls and guys and generally enjoying my body.

I saw a picture of you simulating oral sex on a banana, are you always that classy?

You should see what I can do with a cucumber!

Why is someone like you a lot richer than me? I want to know how I get to the level where sites like DrunkenStepfather.com are interviewing me….because despite what you or your assistant answering this for you is thinking, the site is almost as luxurious as your hair.

I’m not as rich as people think I am. This celebrity game doesn’t pay as much as I thought it did. You have to be at the top of the tree to be making real money. I do ok though. I shouldn’t complain. And thanks for the hair comment! I think its one of my best assets! And for the record, this is ME writing this, not an assistant! I don’t have any assistants!

I remember you had a sex tape released a little while ago. Is that something that you don’t like talking about, was it a marketing strategy and have you always had a thing for black women who like to lick anus?

I always had a plan. And I knew that making sex tapes would help me achieve celebrity status and that is why I did the tapes, yes. But, I do like black women (I like all pretty girls) and I do like having my arse licked!

Whenever I watch black people have sex, I feel like I am watching the nature channel, does that make me a racist or is it a sound cultural observation?

I don’t know. I have a lot of black friends, some of whom I have been intimate with, so I don’t see things the way you do. Maybe you should have sex with some black chicks!

I guess the whole you being a virgin dream went out the window when I watched clips of the sex tape. I felt like it was a little taste of heaven. I’ve always had a thing for amateur porn and I’d like to encourage you to produce more, so can we expect more exposed vagina from you?

I have produced more, a lot more. The original tape was an edited compilation that I deliberately leaked to the press. There were originally three one hour films. And I’ve made lots of other home made porn as well. Its all on my website www.totallytitmuss.com in the videos section

Since you’ve put up with me for this long – you can promote yourself now:
If you want to see me in action, and get all of my hardcore photos and videos visit my very own official website www.totallytitmuss.com where you can download my porn films, watch me get naked and fuck for you, as well as read my own horny personal blog.

Abi

It’s times like this that I wish I wasn’t impotent, think of all the good times I could have with you love. Cheers (that’s UK for Thanks and Bye)

Posted in:stepEXCLUSIVE|stepINTERVIEW

So it’s official. I am destined for failure. I did this Interview with a producer of Howard Stern’s TV show named Doug Goodstein. It was in efforts to get some exposure and possibly a shout out on Howard Stern, because I thought that would make me famous. Unfortunately he seems to think I am an idiot…and he’s industry…and making money, so I guess that means I am an idiot. Either way, when you read this, remember that I don’t hate Jews, some of my best friends are Jewish. They are just a funny religion to talk about.

Here’s the interview with Doug Goodstein that was done via email….

I have never heard of you, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you. I’d like to get that out before we start. I checked your IMDB and the only projects you have ever executive produced were for Stern, how did you get the job are you a synagogue friend he carried to the top?
I could answer your question as ridiculously as they are written or answer them seriously…I will give you real answers despite the goofy questions. I actually just sent a resume in the mail to E! looking for an entertainment-based job; I was working at ABC News and was not happy. I got a call and it turned out to be for the Howard Stern Show which was a perfect match for me.

So you are saying that it had nothing to do with you and Stern being lovers ?
Duh!

Is he really the king of all media and don’t you find that title a little obnoxious. If I walked around telling girls I had a 10 inch dick and was the best fuck in town, they’d get pissed when they found out I was impotent and pathetic, so why does Howard get away with giving himself a title like that ?
The truth is that Howard rarely refers to himself as “The King Of All Media�. Howard may have created the title somewhat goofing around but it’s the actual media that refers to him with that title a lot more than Howard does himself.

So you are Jewish, how’s that working out for you?
So you ask dumb questions, how is that working out for you? I love being a jew!

Do you think being Jewish is why you work in TV, because as a Jew you were given options like clothing, media or bakery and you chose media kind of thing….
Man these question just getting more and more odd as we go along. Yes, I work in TV because I am jewish.

I heard that all Jews love Chicken Caeser Salads, is that true?
I love matzoh, pickled herring, lox, and gefilte fish…thanks for asking.

Who is more Jewish, Christina Aguilera or Britney Spears?
Who cares!

What is the craziest thing thats ever happened when you were working on the Stern show?
One segment we did that was really crazy we did a farting contest. For that bit I was the sucker counting the farts with a digital counter in the studio; within minutes Dan The Farter was trying to set the Stern Show farting record but he started to crap out little shit nuggets…I was freaked out and sick by the sight but Dan just kept on going despite everyone freaking out.

Has it ever got you laid?
I know this may sound crazy but I have never really taken full advantage of working here and getting girls. I have always been OK in that department. But for the record I once spent some time with Jenna Jameson back in 1995…true story! Howard mentioned it on the air…

How do I get my own TV show, I am already famous on the internet, what’s the next step?
Just keep working hard and why not make an attempt to put some video of yourself on your site.

What is this Howard On Demand business?
Go Howard.tv for all the details on what Howard TV On Demand is all about…

Why wouldn’t Howard do an Interview with me?
I can’t tell you, but if you ever got him and hit him with these kind of goofy questions I assure you that you’d never have an interview opportunity.

Thanks for your time
With Love
Jesus

Posted in:stepEXCLUSIVE|stepINTERVIEW