So motherfuckers are tired of me talking about my impotence. I guess it’s fucking annoying to read about people’s problems and I don’t realize that I constantly mention it, but I guess it’s on my mind, and since this is my site, I guess I feel the right to talk about it. But if that’s the reason none of you cunts are coming back, I understand, the thought of another man’s penis can be very exciting. Exciting in a way that you may or not want to come to terms with. So let me tell you a real masculine tough guy story, about a Chloe Sevigny sucking cock, like the slut she is, in Brown Bunny, and now doing full frontal spreads in magazines, bitch is crazy.

I remember that movie kids where Casper (RIP) started slamming her after that Telly dude (I think that if we make love you’d love it) gave her HIV. Point of the story is I love fucking bitches when they are passed out from too much booze/drugs, because they are too fuckin’ gone to realize this shit. I do this said fucking with my real VIRILE cock, because I have no problems getting it up. Not Will Sasso, if that is your real name, go fuck yourself. Cuddles.

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We love K-Fed. Not because we are gay, but because he’s manipulated the situation nicely. He hooked up with Britney, married her, locked her in for life with a baby and has knocked her up again. He has ruined a poor little insecure girl but lucky for him she has mad cash and has set him up for life. While bitch is out puking with morning sickness, K-fed’s changing his boxers, smoking stacks and stretching; like every good scam artist should do. K-Fed is our Hero of the Day.

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Heidi Klum fucks black disfigured people and has their babies. I fuck Campbell’s Chunky Soup, not because it turns me on, but because I have to. I may have neglected to mention that I am wasted and my girlfriend is out dancing for random men for 10 dollars a song. I suck at life.

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If I was a celebrity blogger I would say something like this:

These pictures of Pamela Anderson at ‘Elton John’s 14th Annual Academy Awards Viewing’ party would be much more interesting if she didn’t look like a freak show and if we never saw implants before. Unlike Lindsay, Pamela is a bit smarter and decided to try some double-sided tape to keep her shirt from opening. As we can see, the tape didn’t work very well but it’s not like Pamela really cares because if she did, she wouldn’t have worn a see-through shirt.

I am not a celebrity blogger, I find the people behind celebrity blogs to be retardedly gay. To be retardedly gay means you want to suck cock, but something is stopping you, like living in your mom’s basement, or your star wars action figure collection, or your obsession with Natalie Portman, or your fear of disappointing your parents. Now, I am not here to dis celeb bloggers, they won’t let me in their circle cuz they are scared of losing advertisers, I am too hardcore, and they are too pussy. They think we actually care about their opinions, for landing on their faggot sites to look at pics…..What they do is easy, you can do it too, email me and I will give you all their sources…..Point of this post is to say both Anderson and Lepore are equally fucking weird. I’d fuck both of them at the same time, but I’d have to use household object cuz my dick doesn’t work. I am thinking the fat end of a 40 bottle or maybe an old pair of winter boots. The infection would be less serious than the HEP Tommy Lee’s packing. Suck my dick and go fuck yourself.

Love,

Jesus

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I guess I was wrong, I am a bit of a prick, but in my defense, if people didn’t give me things to complain about, I would have no material to work with. If I had no material to work with, we could all be happy. If we were all happy, I would organize a love circle where we all get together in a selected park in a selected city to hold hands and sing. I’d start us off, and everyone would naturally join in, because I just saw RENT and all those heroin AIDS whores knew the words…..that means all you useless white trash that read my shit would know the words too….Anyway, this is a pic of some poor girl I found on myspace, and the reason I say she’s poor is cuz if she was rich, she’d get lippo. She’s too fat to be doing these kinds of poses but doesn’t realize it. Her underwear looks like a depends, and although I find that hot, I know it’s not. . Nice lip ring, it doesn’t divert my focus from your fat. I feel like a real jerk and hate myself for doing this, but I am fat too, so it’s the same thing as when black ppl call other black ppl N WORDS. ….we are part of the same tribe, only I don’t run around in men’s underwear. Cuddles.

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I am a voyeur, probably because I can’t get my dick to work and have no choice by to vicariously live through normal people. But I think part of me has been this way for a while. I remember drunken nights that involved me climbing up fire escapes and watching university girls going at it….I only got caught once. That’s what I love about being criminal, you never get caught the first time.

This is a photobucket gallery sent in by some hot slut I wish I could cum inside but can’t. I hope the pics are still up – cuz the dude in the couple is bi and shoves things in his ass and that is funny. The girl’s just some shaven 12 year old looking bitch who fucks a bi guy who shoves things in his ass. I love homemade pics

Check out the dirty album here

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I am a nice person. Everyone always tells me how rude I am. How I never say good things about anyone and how my humor is the weakest kind of humor out there, because all I do is dis and everybody has the ability to dis…..go fuck yourself, keep your opinions to yourself. If I cared, I’d ask you for a fucking interview, which is what I did ask this this bitch. She stars in “Infomercials and is part of SAG and is an Extra”, I thought it would be amazing content until she responded saying my site is “bad”. Now I know my target market isn’t 45 year old bitches who look like dudes, with muff guts so big we’d think she was pregs, until we realize menopause made pregs impossible for this bitch 10 years ago…either way she said the site is bad, I figured I’d tell you what is bad is that women like this actually exist, and apparantly have real vaginas, not the kind they make in sex change operations…..I just made you famous, bitch.

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I have nothing to say about this other than: naked trannies scare the fuck out of me, especially when they look like Lepore. I guess this is Mac’s attempt to be cool, without realizing only Goth bitches and faggots like Amanda Lepore, oh and Pam Anderson, but she’s like a faggot, only bigger breasted. I’ll be back later, I am just wasted.

Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

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