DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2006

21

Feb

Vintage Shatner Sex Scene

I like William Shatner as much as the next closet case who’s best friend is his remote control, HD TV, collection of action figures and fantasies of being “beamed” up by Scotty, as Dr McKoy and Spoke use their phasers on each other (handle first of course). Point of the story is that my adoptive brother used to make us watch Star Trek daily, for some reason he always made me watch in my underwear. I haven’t talked to that bastard in years, but last I heard he was arrested for molesting a kid somewhere down south. Molestation isn’t funny, even in a clown-suit, and it’s not cheerful, even in a Santa outfit, and it’s not sexy, even when you are molesting one of those Jon Benet Ramse child pageant girls, but watching Shatner caress a woman is, and for the record, I fuckin’ hate Star Trek and all it stands for, so all you gaming cunts who read my site in hopes of finding nipples to jerk off to, don’t think I am one of your kind. Cuddles.

Watch The Clips Here (circa 1974)

Posted in:Sex|Uncategorized|Unsorted|william shatner

2006

20

Feb

Gwyneth Paltrow Preggers

9 Comments »

Pregnancy is a beautiful thing. Well that was actually a generalization. The only people who find preganancy beautiful is the mother of the pregnant woman and maybe a couple of her lonely friends. The dad of the pregnant bitch, hates that she’s pregnant, because it screams “Hey Dad, some dude fucked me, came inside me, and knocked me up”. The dad of the baby, hates that he’s gonna have to go to work everyday to pay the bills, while the pregnant/baby momma stays home and lives the easy/lazy life. All the guys who ever wanted to fuck the pregnant girl before she got pregnant, just think about how mangled her vagina is going to end up in 9 months time….it’s just not that beautiful of a thing. Even the pregnant woman gets depressed about how her skin breaks out, how she won’t be able to sleep for 4 years, how her stomach has mad stretch marks, how her body won’t bounce back…..anyway – here’s some pics of Paltrow pregs, I have always wanted to slam a pregnant bitch, but only if the baby’s not mine, which it wouldn’t be, cuz I can’t get it up.

Posted in:gwyneth paltrow|Pregnant|Sex|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

20

Feb

Marriage Contract of the Day

21 Comments »

This dude in some redneck waste of space state has revolutionized marriage. The only problem is that motherfucker got busted. I’m guessing it’s not legal to make your wife sign a contract stating she will shave her cooch every three days, from belly button to anus, with permissions to leave a 3 inch by 1 inch patch of hair, which will be inspected every three days. The other funny clause is that every night the wife has to commit 3 hours of husband time where it is all about the husband and she will have to do everything he asks, sexually. Jokes aside this guy is obviously fucking psycho, pure OCD, probably a gamer. I am just wondering how he found a wife in that he could do this to in the first place, because from my experience bitches don’t like crazies…..unless they are fat, and that’s because they can’t find anyone else and are lonely.

If I had a clause with my fat wife, it would be that she kills herself on her 40th birthday. I don’t think it’s that bad, she’s fat and is going to have a shit load of health problems in the years to come, and I can’t divorce her, because I will get deported.

Read Story/See Contract Here

Posted in:marriage|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

16

Feb

Bathroom Writing of the Day

11 Comments »

I am taking pictures of shit I see drawn on bathroom walls that make me laugh. This one made me laugh.

Related Articles

I am – Street Art of the Day

Posted in:Bathroom|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

16

Feb

Kid Rock’s Sex Tape

3 Comments »

In typical white trash celebrity behavior, the Kid Rock Sex Tape has finally surfaced. I don’t mean that in a good way, because I have not been sitting here dick in hand waiting for the Kid Rock tapes, I just figured he was one of the low class rockstars who loves strippers, fake titties and fucks disgusting bitches. It was kinda made obvious when fucking Pam Anderson’s Hep Pussy.

I like strippers too, but only to look at, if I was in Kid Rock’s position, I wouldn’t invite the sluts back to my trailer, I’d invite the overwhelmed 18 year old who’s never done anything like this before, but sice she loves my music so much, she get a little while. I guess breaking girls in is a lot hotter to me than getting AIDS from the town whore of every town I go through.

I think that’s why porn bores me, I don’t want trashy sloppy thousands, most girls fuck the same, and I am not convinced that a stripper looking girl with 4 kids is any better than someone who’s vagina is still internal.

The lesson of the day is that the more money you have, the easier it is too land orgies with your loser buddy who is the lead singer of creed. HI-FIVE motherfucker, not only are you famous and rich, but the whole world’s gonna see your cooter.

IMPORTANT LINKS

Watch Trailer/ 45 Second Clip Here
Read Article Here(AVN)

Posted in:kid rock|Sex|Sex Tape|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

16

Feb

Kid Rock's Sex Tape

2 Comments »

In typical white trash celebrity behavior, the Kid Rock Sex Tape has finally surfaced. I don’t mean that in a good way, because I have not been sitting here dick in hand waiting for the Kid Rock tapes, I just figured he was one of the low class rockstars who loves strippers, fake titties and fucks disgusting bitches. It was kinda made obvious when fucking Pam Anderson’s Hep Pussy.

I like strippers too, but only to look at, if I was in Kid Rock’s position, I wouldn’t invite the sluts back to my trailer, I’d invite the overwhelmed 18 year old who’s never done anything like this before, but sice she loves my music so much, she get a little while. I guess breaking girls in is a lot hotter to me than getting AIDS from the town whore of every town I go through.

I think that’s why porn bores me, I don’t want trashy sloppy thousands, most girls fuck the same, and I am not convinced that a stripper looking girl with 4 kids is any better than someone who’s vagina is still internal.

The lesson of the day is that the more money you have, the easier it is too land orgies with your loser buddy who is the lead singer of creed. HI-FIVE motherfucker, not only are you famous and rich, but the whole world’s gonna see your cooter.

IMPORTANT LINKS

Watch Trailer/ 45 Second Clip Here
Read Article Here(AVN)

Posted in:kid rock|Sex|Sex Tape|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

16

Feb

Pheromone Challenge Update

6 Comments »

I have 2 submissions that I am going to be putting into this one post cuz…that’s just how things work out when you are lazy, in pain, and not in the mood to be on the computer. I just sneezed and feel like I ruptured my heart. One is from a guy I know named Steve and the other is some random submission.

Entry 1: The Hipster’s Night Out.

Jesus you fat lazy fuck,

I was bored last week and decided to take you up on your bullshit pheromone challenge. I figured why not support your dirty ass, maybe make you some money to get your stepdaughter implants, so she can be a stripper or a bigger whore that she already is. Get her working for you, maybe you’ll finally make enough money to buy a new pair of sweat pants.

I have no problem getting laid. Some girls find me hot, and those are the girls I fuck. I have no game and that’s my game, meaning I rarely hit up the randoms. I didn’t believe this shit worked before you told me to try it and I still am not fully convinced, but I sprayed that shit on and the next thing I know girls I’ve never met start chatting me up.

I got pics of me making out with a couple of them. These girls approached me and next thing you know we’re making out. It was pretty fuckin’ weird that it happened to be the night I tested pherlure. Girls hardly ever come on to me.

I ended up getting a girl I’ve known for a while to come home with me. I’d been after her for the last 3 years, but she always had a bf, and never showed interest. I was always the “Gay Friend” to her. But for some fucked up reason she couldn’t get enough of me. I took her home for a pretty solid session. Sorry no pics of her.

So maybe Pherlure works, but it could have all been a coincidence too, who knows, but I do know it was a retarded night.

I didn’t use a condom when I got with the girl I’ve always wanted, so indirectly you may have given me AIDS. Asshole. I don’t care if you post these. I want you to make me famous, bitch.

Steve

Entry 2: Some Guy Who Thinks I speak Spanish

Pinche jesus no te hagas el guey, here’s a little photo to further prove that pherlure works. her boyfriend was standing about 5ft behind us, good times…

benito camela

sorry the photo is so grainy my friend took it w/ my camera phone

Join us on this challenge, be sure to send pics/video, for me to post. Because I will make you famous, bitch.

Buy your own pherlure

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I am – Pheromone Challenge Update of the Day
I am – Another Pheromone Update
I am – Pheromone Challenge Update 5
I am – Pheromone Challenge Update 4
I am – Pheromone Challenge Update 3
I am – Pheromone Challenge Update 2
I am – Pheromone Challenge Update 1
I am – Pheromone Spray

Posted in:pheromone|stepPHEROMONECHALLENGE|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

16

Feb

Maddalena Corvaglia Bikini Pics of the Day

1 Comment »

I am not going to sit here and pretend that I have heard of this girl, because I haven’t. I am not a very cultured person, just a very busted up person from that bullshit accident. I know that I generally trash up the internet by posting celebritites in their bikinis, and I guess it doesn’t matter to me where that celebrity comes from, as long as she’s spread open, adjusting herself for the world to see. I do think she has stupid hair, and I am not talking 1990 stupid, which meant cool, I mean stupid stupid, like rich jewish girl gone down to the islands to stay at the family condo, or to go on a cruise and thought getting the native bitches to braid her hair was so cool, so everyone in her jewish elementary school gets jealous. I guess white trash do this too, but their family vacations usually consist of going to the other side of town and setting up a tent by the local water treatment center. I am just speculating. I guess they also spend their summer vacations getting molested by their uncles, losing their virginity to their brother, who proceeds to share them with all of his friends, while mom is working cash at Wal Mart.

I am pretty cracked out from the accident. I think this near death experience has brought me closer to god, and I will bring you closer to this Maddalena Corvaglia cooter.

Posted in:maddalena corvaglia|Unsorted

2006

15

Feb

Gunther Von Hagens Car Accident

13 Comments »

I was being driven to the science center to check out an exhibit called Bodies In Motion, not this Bodies in Motion, it is some Gunther Von Hagens exhibit. If you are interested in finding out more, click the related links….he does things with dead bodies and I find it cool.

We were driving through an intersection and some dude made a left hand turn into us. We all had our seatbelts on, we were all sober, but we hit hard. I am feeling mangled right now. My sternum (front of my chest) is fucking killin me from the seatbelt my 240 pound body destroyed. My back is killing me, I am in shock and I am having a hard time breathing. I am a pussy, I established that a long time ago. I don’t like pain and I don’t like dying.

Everyone else in the car is fine, drinking and laughing and I’m here, on the computer convinced that I have internal bleeding. I am going to try to update, but it hurts to sit on a computer.

This is all part of the fun of being neurotic and a hypochondriac, you always think you are dying and when something bad finally happens, you only assume the worse. The one good thing is we all walked away, there was no blood. So if any of you are driving tonight, be safe, cuz some crazy fool on a suicide mission, may do the same thing to you. And if this post is too serious for the site, I apologize, but I am not feeling all that funny. And if you all wanna say it’s karma, the reality is if it was karma I’d be a lot worse off.

Related Articles:

I am – Gunther Von Hagens
I am – Gunther Von Hagens Revisted

Posted in:car accident|gunther von hagens|Unsorted

2006

15

Feb

Lara Croft

6 Comments »

Lara Croft is some bitch in a videogame, I don’t play videogames. I find them fucking lame. Even if I did like videogames, which I don’t, I wouldn’t be able to afford one. I know you, my only reader, think videogames are cool, but you also lost your virginity to a home made vagina. Anyway, if you like big tits on a bitch with short shorts and a gun, or videogames, or Lara Croft, Click HERE

Also DoubleViking.com set up a radio station. Listen to it here, it ain’t that good.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted