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Archive for the marriage Category

2010

11

May

Brooklyn Decker Marries Adam Sandler in His Shitty Movie of the Day

I don’t care what magazine cover Brooklyn Decker was on, bitch still looks half retarded or inbred to me. I get that she’s a bikini model and she takes a good picture with the right lighting, make-up, photoshop, but not when the picture is shot by the paparazzi while she’s filming some new shitty movie I recommend you don’t see starring Adam Sandler, who clearly cast Brooklyn Decker cuz he lives in a fantasy world that thanks to deep pockets, big money and fame makes his unappealing, almost annoying and disgusting characteristics a fucking aphordisiac to bitches….cuz they all like people they see on TV whether they are worth watching or not and really if I was Adam Sandler and I was making a movie, I’d make my love interest the hottest bitch of the year trying to make a crossover from modeling into acting, because not only would there be a lot of rehearsal, but she’d also put the fuck out cuz I was her fucking boss, and I’m all about playing power positions….

Here they are getting married in the movie, I hope this is a pivotal scene, so that you actually don’t have to see the shit, she’s showing off the tits that seduced Mandy Moore’s sloppy seconds, cuz he had hook ups and could get her the cover of SI, and the whole this is fucking boring. I need a drink…

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Actor|Bikini Model|Brooklyn Decker|cleavage|marriage

2009

07

Apr

Gisele and Tom Brady Got Married in Costa Rica of the Day

Gisele and Tom Brady got married in Costa Rica and here they are on their way to the pharmacy to buy some topical creams and some prescription pills to stop the emotional pain the day after. Apparently when they went to consummate their relationship for the first time after the ceremony, because she’s a good little Catholic girl who would just use her mouth up until they marriage,Tom Brady freaked the fuck out when he discovered that she didn’t have a penis.

He hasn’t spent the last 15 years of his life hanging in showers, jerking off to dudes, to marry someone with a vagina. I guess based on her face, it’s one of those false advertising situations and he’s got every right to be pissed off….

Posted in:Costa Rica|Gisele|marriage|Tom Brady

2009

24

Feb

Fun with Cancer of the Day

This 9 year old has been fighting cancer for a couple of years and has been given a couple of weeks to live. Her last request was to get married so her family put it all together for her. I know what you’re thinking about a little too much and that’s whether she saved herself for marriage like she was a Jonas brother.

Either way, seeing her mother devastated, crying and weak is a little fucking obnoxious, considering it’s supposed to be her daughter’s day and she’s taking away from everyone’s happiness. She’s making it about her, like this whole “look how sad I am losing my only child” attitude on such a beautiful day when she should just wait out the 2 weeks so her kid’s last memories are those of fucking smiles.

But other than that the whole thing is a pretty fucking depressing story but I guess that’s the whole point of these “Fun With Cancer” Posts.


To See Yesterday’s Fun With Cancer Post Follow This Link….
GO

Posted in:9 Year Old|Cancer|marriage

2006

20

Feb

Marriage Contract of the Day

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This dude in some redneck waste of space state has revolutionized marriage. The only problem is that motherfucker got busted. I’m guessing it’s not legal to make your wife sign a contract stating she will shave her cooch every three days, from belly button to anus, with permissions to leave a 3 inch by 1 inch patch of hair, which will be inspected every three days. The other funny clause is that every night the wife has to commit 3 hours of husband time where it is all about the husband and she will have to do everything he asks, sexually. Jokes aside this guy is obviously fucking psycho, pure OCD, probably a gamer. I am just wondering how he found a wife in that he could do this to in the first place, because from my experience bitches don’t like crazies…..unless they are fat, and that’s because they can’t find anyone else and are lonely.

If I had a clause with my fat wife, it would be that she kills herself on her 40th birthday. I don’t think it’s that bad, she’s fat and is going to have a shit load of health problems in the years to come, and I can’t divorce her, because I will get deported.

Read Story/See Contract Here

Posted in:marriage|Uncategorized|Unsorted