Bikini Model Archives Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2010

11

May

Brooklyn Decker Marries Adam Sandler in His Shitty Movie of the Day

I don’t care what magazine cover Brooklyn Decker was on, bitch still looks half retarded or inbred to me. I get that she’s a bikini model and she takes a good picture with the right lighting, make-up, photoshop, but not when the picture is shot by the paparazzi while she’s filming some new shitty movie I recommend you don’t see starring Adam Sandler, who clearly cast Brooklyn Decker cuz he lives in a fantasy world that thanks to deep pockets, big money and fame makes his unappealing, almost annoying and disgusting characteristics a fucking aphordisiac to bitches….cuz they all like people they see on TV whether they are worth watching or not and really if I was Adam Sandler and I was making a movie, I’d make my love interest the hottest bitch of the year trying to make a crossover from modeling into acting, because not only would there be a lot of rehearsal, but she’d also put the fuck out cuz I was her fucking boss, and I’m all about playing power positions….

Here they are getting married in the movie, I hope this is a pivotal scene, so that you actually don’t have to see the shit, she’s showing off the tits that seduced Mandy Moore’s sloppy seconds, cuz he had hook ups and could get her the cover of SI, and the whole this is fucking boring. I need a drink…

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Actor|Bikini Model|Brooklyn Decker|cleavage|marriage

2010

16

Apr

Candice Swanepoel’s South African Pussy in a Bikini of the Day

8 Comments »

This South African was getting paid 10,000 dollars a day when she was 16. She’s 21 now and probably makes a lot more than that now…and as much as I had encouraging hot girls and letting them thinking they are worth more than they actually are by paying them to stand around, that kind of money gives them a huge ego,

Cuz I know if she was just on the beach in South Africa with her friends, or in a bar, she would have been easy to bang, all it would take is a couple of spiked drinks, but now her security detail gets in the way of that….cuz she’s all fucking posh and shit…but at least she’s actually hot, cuz I get a lot angrier about this shit when the bitches with egos, thinking they are hot a great cuz the media tells them they are, when they are actually ugly and wouldn’t be worth fucking if I had standards….or if they weren’t the celebrities they have become…in a “I’d fuck her cuz she was in Precious” kinda thing….

Posted in:Bikini Model|Candice Swanepoel|South Africa

2010

15

Apr

Candice Swanepoel Pussy Definition in GQ South Africa of the Day

7 Comments »

The nice thing about South Africa is not just good for the surfing, or the apartheid era where blacks didn’t have the same rights as whites, but also because the white pussy that makes its way out of there and into the mainstream American world look pretty fucking good, but you can’t base a country’s pussy on two hot famous pussy that made it’s way out of the country, I mean take your small town for example, to an outsider, we all think America has good pussy cuz of the bitches we see on TV but the second you roll through a dinner in upstate New York, Florida or pretty much any tate,all you see is a sea of obesity and white trash….but as far as I’m concerned South Africa is a magical place of beautiful oceans and diamonds with 9% of the population white, 80% black, 31% of pregnant chicks are HIV positive, where Jews get stabbed in national parks …filled with poverty, crime and disease…and the 2010 Woldcup but most importantly Candice Swanepoel….and here is her pussy definition in GQ South Africa….

2009

27

Nov

World’s Tallest Bikini Model of the Day

4 Comments »

I just came across this video today, I am sure it is old, but it is pretty fucking weird, especially when you see this 7 foot monster with some Kourtney Kardashian lookin chick without the spawn of satan inside her, so I decided to post the shit.

That’s all I have to say about that. I figure why write today since no one is even on the Internet and if they are they are probably fucking losers…..

Watch the Video
GO

Posted in:Bikini Model|Tall

2009

13

Feb

Some American Idol Slut Shopping in Bikinis of the Day

8 Comments »

I just spent more time cropping and uploading these pictures than this bitch in them has spent being famous, not that American Idol novelty acts make you famous, but that’s okay, I’ve got nothing better to do with my time than focus my attention to some nobody bikini shopping on a show I can’t fucking stand, except for that whole Ryan Seacrest motherfucker, that guy gives me boners and I’m not even gay, he just reminds me of a high school girl that I just can’t help but want to pick him up after class in my kidnapper van and break his little pussy in, if you know what I mean….which may be a challenge, since I don’t know what I mean.

Here’s Katrina Darrell in some staged bikini shots, cuz that’s all she’s good for, even though she’s made it into the top 100 singers in America according to American Idol.