To all my loyal Readers,

Yeah, I know, I have been gone too long, I’d like to tell all of those who come back daily that I appreciate your persistance, but take a fuckin’ hint, I don’t like you.

I got fired from my day job at the factory so I will be updating on a regular basis now, I got people working on a redesign, I got some plans and all that good shit to take this site to another level. If you wanna be part of this movement – drop me an email.

I hope you all had a good holiday season and feel free to send me pics of your crazy adventures.

Starting January 5th, the site will be updated daily. Can you feel it in your lady parts?

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

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Pradeep

I never read the Kama Sutra. My parents strictly forbade it. My perverse yogi uncle however, did introduce me to several positions of sexual pleasure. They all seem to involve rusty sewer pipes, his sphincter and freshly made, hot dhosas in my virginal girl slit. They sear the most sensual scars on my purple labia. I find the connections to the Kama Sutra obscure and evasive. But what do I know. A simple call center girl from Bangalore should never question such wondrous mystery.

This brings me to the first new sex ritual of the New Year. It is a tribute to one of your great authors, Ernest Hemmingway. I call it, The Old Man and the Sea. To perform this most erotic act, you need to kidnap an old homeless man. The one in the picture is Pradeep. My uncle found him in the Ganges deep in meditative prayer. So he beat him senseless with a stale phulka and brought him home to my meager cot. There, my uncle awoke the old man with a sound slap to the genitals. Fragrant cardamom pods were put in his nostrils. My uncle then made the rundi ka bacha sodomize me with his unusually virile lund while he strangled his feeble neck with a dirty bungee cord. When his ejaculate had coated my tender chipkali to my uncle’s satisfaction, he filled his anus with coriander and drowned him in our slum’s communal bathtub because he had defiled me. This is The Old Man and the Sea. Own it and love it. Happy New Year from your favorite girl Hindu.

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This is Christmas in Bangalore, India. A decrepit old relic of a Santa Claus, who reeks of burnt fenugreek and prods my girl holes until I run under our front porch to play with rats. Merry Christmas from your favorite little Hindu, Priti. Motherfuck you.

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Jessica Simpson’s lips are fucked since she injected them with plastic. There’s nothing wrong with plastic surgery if you got face problems. What happened here is an insecurity developed based on nothing, she would freak out about her pencil thin lips and how unattractive they made here. Now bitch looks like she got beat up by her bf, and although he’s cut, I doubt he could hurt her, motherfucker’s too into cock. Either way, I gave you 2 Simpson pics for the day. Be happy.

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Jessica Simpson’s lips are fucked since she injected them with plastic. There’s nothing wrong with plastic surgery if you got face problems. What happened here is an insecurity developed based on nothing, she would freak out about her pencil thin lips and how unattractive they made here. Now bitch looks like she got beat up by her bf, and although he’s cut, I doubt he could hurt her, motherfucker’s too into cock. Either way, I gave you 2 Simpson pics for the day. Be happy.

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Terry Richardson was made famous by Vice Magazine, Vice Magazine was made famous by American Apparel. American Apparel was made famous by amateur photography that bit Richardson’s style. Richardson bit Nan Goldin’s style. It’s all whole cycle of who made who famous and who ripped who off and the point of the story is we don’t give a fuck. I remember Stephanie Seymour when she was the coke/dorritos girl, obviously not too well, I have spent many years drinkin to forget, but it seems I only forget the things I am not trying to forget…..

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Terry Richardson was made famous by Vice Magazine, Vice Magazine was made famous by American Apparel. American Apparel was made famous by amateur photography that bit Richardson’s style. Richardson bit Nan Goldin’s style. It’s all whole cycle of who made who famous and who ripped who off and the point of the story is we don’t give a fuck. I remember Stephanie Seymour when she was the coke/dorritos girl, obviously not too well, I have spent many years drinkin to forget, but it seems I only forget the things I am not trying to forget…..

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When a local stripper and a celebrity porn star meet, it’s like watching kids at disneyland, you know, meeting Mickey for the first time. This stripper’s dream is to grow some titties with the money she makes riding truckers and make her way to L.A. for a life a suckin’ dick. It’s nice that this was documented.

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When a local stripper and a celebrity porn star meet, it’s like watching kids at disneyland, you know, meeting Mickey for the first time. This stripper’s dream is to grow some titties with the money she makes riding truckers and make her way to L.A. for a life a suckin’ dick. It’s nice that this was documented.

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I guess no one really cares about the nipples of some 26 year old celebrity daughter, who got knocked up by some bearded motherfucker in some band none of us listen to, but they are nipples, and like I always say, my obsession with nipples started when my whore mother neglected to breast feed me. I don’t mean whore in a derrogatory way, she was proud of her life work, up until the day she died. So fuck you.

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