I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2006

11

Jan

Kylie Minogue Photoshoot Ass


Kylie had breast cancer or some shit – but the good thing for me is that the chemo didn’t destroy her ass. I am used to cancer patients being all pastey and pale, skinny and bald, not the kind of person you’d want to do the locomotion with, but for some reason Kylie doesn’t look ravaged by the horrible disease. I don’t want you all thinking I got no sympathy for cancer, my prostate is the size of a grapefruit and I cough up blood daily. I just call it signs of hard living, and who really wants to live a pussy life in a sterile room anyway. I’m talking give me booze, smoke, unprotected sex and drugs and I’m a happy motherfucker. If you are wondering why I put the last pic in, it’s for the gay/closet cases that read this site. Speedo’s are hot, just admit it, homo.

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2006

11

Jan

Josie Maran the Lesbian

The benefit of being a guy is that there is no such thing as a pure lesbian. The lesbians that never touch dick are usually all emotionally fucked up or rape victims or look like men and you wouldn’t want to get involved with them anyway, no matter how lonely your mom’s basement is. All the hot lesbians are bi-sexual which means they can handle little penises like yours. See, girls all say that all the perfect men are either taken or gay. I guess the difference between guys and girls is that guys want a hot piece of ass who doesn’t give them a headache and gives good head, where a girl wants a guy who looks well maintained and can talk to them about hair and make-up and their new outfit while sippin martinis or shopping for jeans or getting their hair did. Point of this post is to say that although Josie may not be a dyke, she’s holding a girl’s hand so I can only assume they have seen each other’s pussies and that’s dyke enough for me. Lucky for you, the good ones aren’t all taken or gay. I know – I sometimes forget who I am writing to, virgin. You got no chance but have fun jerkiing off to these pics.

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2006

11

Jan

Joe Rogan Message of the Week

I don’t know if any of you are ever return visitors to this site or if you care to keep up with what I am doing. I am sure you just use me for my celebrity titty pics and in doing that you make me feel like a cheap whore. Well, I like being treated like a whore, it’s one of the only ways I can get this useless limp dick hard. When my cunt of a wife gets off her fat ass and walks to her purse to pay me 5 dollars to eat out her peanut butter smellin pussy, I fucking jump up and down like the beaner I am, because it buys me one more 40 and shuts her up for a couple of weeks. I get even more excited when married men promise me money to service their wive’s fleshy mound while they jerk off, then getting driven to other side of town with one shoe, a black eye and penal wound cuz fisting the bitch wasn’t part of the deal. So keep treating me like a whore you fucker.

If you are up to speed, I emailed Joe Rogan asking him to write for my site, here’s the post. Today I got an anonymous commenter who I can only assume is Rogan trying to have the last word. This is what he said;

I think it’s funny how you want Joe Rogan to write for your shitty blog, and when he respectfully declines, you basically say he’s a peice of shit anyways. And thanks for the updates on topless celebrities. It’s so hard to find that kind of information on the internet these days.

I have no response to Joe “Anonymous” Rogan other than that I didn’t say you were a piece of shit, I just linked to Joe Rogan the Real Estate guy cuz he needed time to shine. Realize that the last 5 years of his life has been “Hey, you have the same name as that dude on Fear Factor”, well maybe it’s time to tell Fear Factor Joe Rogan that he has the same name as that real estate agent out in Boise Idaho. Why does no one care about Mid-Western Joe Rogan is all I am saying. Thanks for Reading.

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2006

10

Jan

WWF Softcore

I fucking hate wresting, more than I hate you. It drives me crazy and always had. I was convinced that all the people I knew who watched it, were closet case homos. Where is the entertainment value in watching topless muscular men in panties grabbin’ at each other if you’re not a fuckin’ fag. I came across these screen shots from last night’s “RAW” and I guess all the homophobe closet cases needed to “STRAIGHTEN” out their “sport” so they decided to have softcore sex interludes in a bed set up in the ring. Dude, if that’s not like the highschool quarterback dating the head cheerleader while fuckin his teammates up the ass in the locker room. I don’t know what is.

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2006

10

Jan

Jessica Alba Topless

Yeah – so this is a little misleading, she’s tanning on the beach and she’s taken off her top. I have no problem with girls goin topless at the beach, and unlike you seeing a naked chick isn’t that exciting to me – the reason is simple. I spent days and days in strip clubs, with hookers, and my drinking has just made me numb. But when I see pics of Alba almost topless – I got no choice but to represent – because she is the hottest girl in hollywood. If I was smart – I woulda married her mom.

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2006

10

Jan

Britney in Vegas

I have no idea if these are old pics or new pics of Britney. To me she always looks the same. I feel like I have seen her in some ghetto beater without a bra and joggin pants, but that’s probably because she wears the same thing daily. I am not about to rip into her hygiene, like all the other sites used to do, cuz it’s old news. I just feel the need to post a Britney erect nipple whenever I can – to prove that bitch doesn’t have implants. Baby or not, her nips have always aimed to the ground. Implants don’t do that. I like her rehab shirt, classy, I wonder what flea market she bought that at. I wish my mom wore Rehab shirts, but she is dead. I kinda wish bitch really had a drug addiction and gave birth to a flipper baby, it would have been funny, but only for some people.

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2006

10

Jan

My First Goatse

I figure that my site doesn’t represent internet culture enough. I never post the mainstream viral videos like that fat kid with a light sabre. I never talk about Goatse and since this is an internet site I figure I will post this for all your internet people. I am not going to dis you for your inability to get pussy or make real friends, I am online right now too, we’re all in the same boat, only I have a legitimate excuse called laziness.

Follow this link to see more pics of people seeing Goatse for the first time.

THIS LINK

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2006

06

Jan

2006 Bloggies

I deserve a Bloggie – mainly because It would piss so many people off. But I also want to win because it would be funny to crash the bloggie parties. I doubt these bitches know much beyond how to write a post. I’m talking bringing a crackwhore as a date and shaking the bloggie host’s hand with her crackwhore orgasm drippin off my fingers.

It would be funny and anyone who reads this site knows that I am all a lot better than all those fucking loser bloggers. I know that isn’t saying much, but I still want to go on a quest and make DrunkenStepfather winner.

Vote for me HERE

I may kill myself if I don’t get nominated. Yes, I am that emotionally unstable.

Oh – I just read the site and realized that the prize is $20. Fuck that. Don’t vote for me. I’d rather lose than be recognized by a bunch of internet losers and handed 20 dollars from them. Seriously. Do not vote for me. Just look at that picture, dude’s wearing red pants. That’s all I have to say.

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2006

06

Jan

Marisa Tomei’s Wet Shorts

I used to have a weird fetish growing up – that involved wet clothing. I never really understood what did it for me, but when a girl happened to get stuck in a rainstorm in a white t-shirt without an umberella – I’d be happier that you were the first time you got a hand job from the Albino chick in your highschool. I aint got shit against albino’s cuz another fetish of mine growing up was Red Eyes. It’s like fucking a dragon and I always get off to dragons. The point of this post is to say that although I had that wet clothing fetish – there is absolutely nothing hot about Tomei’s wet shorts. I guess she’s just past her prime and it’s not “My Cousin Vinny” anymore, and by that I mean, her ass isn’t all that.

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2006

06

Jan

Marisa Tomei's Wet Shorts

I used to have a weird fetish growing up – that involved wet clothing. I never really understood what did it for me, but when a girl happened to get stuck in a rainstorm in a white t-shirt without an umberella – I’d be happier that you were the first time you got a hand job from the Albino chick in your highschool. I aint got shit against albino’s cuz another fetish of mine growing up was Red Eyes. It’s like fucking a dragon and I always get off to dragons. The point of this post is to say that although I had that wet clothing fetish – there is absolutely nothing hot about Tomei’s wet shorts. I guess she’s just past her prime and it’s not “My Cousin Vinny” anymore, and by that I mean, her ass isn’t all that.

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