As all the other celebs fall apart at the seam, get knocked up with white trash babies, release sex tapes, do mass amounts of drugs and jump off hotel balconies into pools, suck dick for jobs and waste away with diet pills, Christina Aguilera, the girl we all thought would have her cooch all up on the internet 3 years ago – maintains her shit. She’s rockin out at some fashion show, too exclusive for you, and she’s looking good. See I am not all bad.

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The amazing thing about doing porn is that you can make any fantasy happen, as long as you’ve got enough money. There is always a girl somewhere desperate enough to suck you off, even if you weigh in at 300 pounds. I don’t know how much this dude paid these bitches, but I do know where he found them, and that is at the bus station. These teen runaways were hungry and dude offered them a warm meal and a shower. That’s my story and I know you are happy that I didn’t say all women were whores, because everyone’s got a price.

watch clips here

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I don’t know who this bitch really is, other than Rod Stewart’s slutty daughter. She’s rockin the L.A. coke scene harder than your cock, pervert, and she loves the fucking camera. She actually follows the papparazzi around in efforts to get them to notice her. She probably figures the more media coverage she gets, the more likely she will become an actual b-lister. I guess before releasing the gangbang sex tape, bitch is testing the water by rockin a bikini. I like that pun, I should say no pun intended because every shitty newspaper writes that whenever there’s a pun and it isn’t obnoxious in the least. I always find it funny that no matter how skinny a girl gets, she can never really get rid of her cellulite. That’s the shitty thing about the diet-pill coke diet. I have enough flappy pussy in my life at home, it would be nice if my internet experience was a little more in shape. Jerks.

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When the majority of your career involves sucking rockstar cock, contracting hepatitis and running around in a bathing suit it’s hard to turn off the slut, it’s what makes you who you are. I thought it was nice to post a few pictures reminiscent of Pam’s baywatch days, a silcone bitch running may not be your favorite thing, but I tend to park outside strip clubs to watch the girls running into work, you know, late for their shifts, trying to get there on time, because even though getting drunk and naked is their gig, they still possess a certain work ethic. I have spent many nights with strippers, and when you show them a little cash, they are the hardest group of people out there.

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When the majority of your career involves sucking rockstar cock, contracting hepatitis and running around in a bathing suit it’s hard to turn off the slut, it’s what makes you who you are. I thought it was nice to post a few pictures reminiscent of Pam’s baywatch days, a silcone bitch running may not be your favorite thing, but I tend to park outside strip clubs to watch the girls running into work, you know, late for their shifts, trying to get there on time, because even though getting drunk and naked is their gig, they still possess a certain work ethic. I have spent many nights with strippers, and when you show them a little cash, they are the hardest group of people out there.

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Lohan eats, so fuck all you haters out there. This is proof that she’s not anorexic, it’s not much proof that she’s not gonna puke the shit up after she’s finished, but who cares if she does, a girl needs to maintain her motherfucking figure, yo. I know there are people who hate the fact that I like my girls skinny, and resent that I call my wife fat, but she is….I try to get her to puke after every meal…only because she needs to know how it feels to be sick to your stomach after going down on something that tastes like kitchen garbage…my story is over.

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That’s right, she’s pregnant, and with pregancy comes bigger tits, and with bigger tits comes bigger nipples, but that doesn’t mean it’s hot. I want to “bed” a pregnant girl just as much as the next guy, I like to wait until the third trimeste when everythings ripe and her belly button becomes an outty, but I have trouble bringing myself to love a girl with a shit stain (areola) the size of a tea saucer. I know tea is supposed to be classy and shit, but I am more into whiskey….point of this post is to say Britney’s areolas, pregnant or not are too big and aim the wrong way. I don’t mean to be picky, but I remember this time I got this girl naked and her tits were just nipples and there was nothing beautiful in that. I let her give me a blowjob, but made her keep her shirt on…..

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I don’t understand what all the hype is in tats, I mean yeah we all know you’re so different, and that your body art makes you stand out amongst a crowd, there is no way you did it to fit into the crowd, or even better, to stand out from the crowd as a way cooler being….tattoos are stupid, unless you’re in some african tribe where you get all inked up then eat people. Canibalism makes you different, none of the cool kids are doing it, you should check out that scene, it’s way more hype than Emo….Cheryl Tweedy’s ass tattoo looks like she pooped herself and didn’t have time to clean up because the sun was waiting. Vitamin D is the miracle vitamin. Thank you sun.

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That’s right, she’s pregnant, and with pregancy comes bigger tits, and with bigger tits comes bigger nipples, but that doesn’t mean it’s hot. I want to “bed” a pregnant girl just as much as the next guy, I like to wait until the third trimeste when everythings ripe and her belly button becomes an outty, but I have trouble bringing myself to love a girl with a shit stain (areola) the size of a tea saucer. I know tea is supposed to be classy and shit, but I am more into whiskey….point of this post is to say Britney’s areolas, pregnant or not are too big and aim the wrong way. I don’t mean to be picky, but I remember this time I got this girl naked and her tits were just nipples and there was nothing beautiful in that. I let her give me a blowjob, but made her keep her shirt on…..

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I don’t understand what all the hype is in tats, I mean yeah we all know you’re so different, and that your body art makes you stand out amongst a crowd, there is no way you did it to fit into the crowd, or even better, to stand out from the crowd as a way cooler being….tattoos are stupid, unless you’re in some african tribe where you get all inked up then eat people. Canibalism makes you different, none of the cool kids are doing it, you should check out that scene, it’s way more hype than Emo….Cheryl Tweedy’s ass tattoo looks like she pooped herself and didn’t have time to clean up because the sun was waiting. Vitamin D is the miracle vitamin. Thank you sun.

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