Hipsters make the world go round, at least that’s what I tell myself when I am passed out on the bathroom floor dreaming of a fat line of yay, but can’t really afford one because of all these motherfuckers driving up the price. It’s supply and demand bitches and the more hipsters breed and morph into coke huffin, too cool for life, motherfuckers, the less chance I have of scoring the one thing I know will take me out of this drunken state. Now this is a picture of a hipster rocking a suit that is a derivative of pink, stylin facial hair, black rimmed tinted glasses, long hair, a couple of laminents(press packs) and to top off the outfit a motherfuckin microphone. Nothing says more important that you hipsters than the guy who’s rockin the mic and has a camera crew. This guy is what hipster jealousy is made of, and if I were you, I would take down some notes, because being hip will change your emo life.

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Hip hop is dead, it’s true. Unfortunately, I never considered Lil’ Kim to be hip hop. She’s more of a groupie bitch, who somehow sucked enough dick to get a record of her own. The benefit of having an ex-crackwhore on stage in front of lots of people is that she jacks up her underwear and lets her dirty tits hangout all over the motherfucker. I am wondering what that patch is on the right tit (her right), I am thinking it’s the contraceptive patch, to ensure bitch doesn’t get knocked up (again), because identifying the babby daddy is a total pain in the ass….

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Models make me laugh.They have the most ridiculous jobs and get paid ridiculous money to sit in front of the camera. I am not gonna dis a hard working person, because I know it’s hard work, and that is why the payout is so damn good, but I am gonna say it’s funny to see just how hard these gig can be, first hand. By first hand, I mean through pictures on the internet, because I am not exclusive enough to hit up these photoshoots VIP styles. This is series of pics of Gisele doing some acrobatic shit, only to fall in the water, to be saved and covered by dudes in a dingy (thanks towel guy). You can see side tit shot, if that does anythin for you on a sexual level, you probably got issues. If you are reading this site, you definitely have bigger issues, and getting off to a partial tit shot of Gisele is nothing new. I know you jerk off to your mom’s Victoria Secret catalog. Big up yourself.

Paparazzi Pics – After the Jump

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Wasted is a lifestyle. It’s not something that you can do in moderation, it’s something that you are supposed to do to get through your day, and to forget your problems, because I know your life is dull. For the times that you go out and get sauced, you can rock this shirt, that way when you vomit on someone next to you, they can’t say you didn’t warn them.

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A nipple is a beautiful thing (if you’re weird). It’s the spicket that feeds our spawns, a source of life to a new generation, a decoration on the breast (like christmas lights or a painting on the wall). It gives guys something to look at, play with, satisfy weird psychological mother issues with, all at the same time. I know that not all breasts are perfect, and I am not one out there looking for an ideal nipple or the perfect tit, but I am willing to say that these nipples are disgusting. I know the bitch in the pics is equally disgusting, she has absolutely no good physical attributes, I am sure she’s a good person, hell, she sure as hell better be because her nipples have a circumference(2-pie-r) greater than my dinner plate, and I am a fat dude, so that’s pretty damn big. You may be confusing this bitch with my wife, but my baby is way mo’fatter, Assholes.

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Bitch is still too fat for my liking. She may have got her shit together, and dropped 20 pounds, but I think she’s still disgustingly fat. Look at her thunderous thighs, I guess that’s just the way she happens, you work towards a good thing and you end up losing all your tits, losing your birthing hips, and keeping your fat fucking thighs. I guess the only thing for Lohan to do, is to keep up with the program, continue smoking crystal meth out of a lightbulb and fucking get squating. I remember when my wife went on a cabbage diet, it was supposed to drop 20 of the 100 excess pounds she’s packing. All she ate was steamed cabbage. The outcome was not so good, she gained 10 pounds and stank like a concentration camp. Point of the post is to say that not all diets work and that there are more Lohan fat bikini pics after the jump.

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The pimp of the year is obviously Kevin Federline. Dude’s knows how to bring a plan many of us had into light, he excuted strategically a way to get into Britney’s pants, have her fall in love with him, get her to marry him without a pre-nup, hook him up with a hefty allowance, knock her up to really lock her in, all while doing nothing with himself. Dude can sleep all day if he chooses to, he gets to sit around a smoke his cigarettes, play his videogames, and drive around in his motherfuckin Ferrari. For the people who say this guys a talentless mooch, you’re just jealous that his skills in seduction and lockin a bitch in have worked out great for him. I would like to take this opportunity to big up K-Fed for all his hard work and well-deserved success….

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Not all girls are blessed with a well-contained cunt. I am thinking it’s genetic, maybe a hormonal imbalance, or possibly from having babies…many, many babies. I am not saying that this kind of pussy is no good to get down with. I know that these beef curtains don’t take away from good sex. I know that many external pussies can be tighter than an internal one, but I just don’t think it’s as hot to look at. Maybe it is the pedophile in me, who likes the simplicity of a coinslot, or maybe it’s just gross to look at a girls uterus before getting it on with her. If you click the link, you will see the DrunkenStepfather Meaty pussy of the day.

See the Flapper

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A quest for a coinslotted vagina is a lifelong mission. I know they exist but it seems like every bitch I get with has her fucking uterus hanging out. I don’t know if it has to do with the drug problems or the eating disorders, but I do know that shit hangs where I don’t think it should. I was visiting my brother Hector’s site and he posted a gallery of some girl with a coinslot…..Check it out HERE

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I am not feeling the thong these days, I am a huge fan of the bootyshort I am not too sure why I have always had a thing for this style of underwear, and I am not insanely picky when a bitch rocks a thong, because I understand that diversity keeps things interesting, but seeing the bottoms of an ass hanging out of a tight fitting bootyshort is really something we all need to experience as often as possible. I guess the whole reason is that a girl with a bad ass can mask it in fabric and still turn me on, just by rocking the right kind of panty. Now I don’t find Cameron Diaz hot, and I don’t understand why she’s rocking a thong, and whale tailing, but I do know that it probably has something to do with her being old and washed up, completely missing the bootyshort train…..and by train I mean my erection. Girls, if you are wearing a thong, pull up your pants, cuz no one needs to see yo’ junk.

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