I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2005

01

Jun

I am – Lohan has Cankles….

No matter how skinny you get bitch, you still got cankles and there is nothing more representative of the condition a girl will end up in 10 years down the road than her cankles. The reason for this is simple, her body wants to be fat but all the cocaine, sex and annorexia she is enduring is preventing her from being her natural state, which is probably somewhere in the 200 lbs range. She is built – ready to support a severe depression that is bound to happen sometime soon. Her career will end, people will stop wanting to fuck her and the only happiness she will find will be in a pint of Ice Cream. It’s all good Lohan, I will totally K-Fed your ass…I have no problem living off your fortune, getting you knocked up and spending my days playing videogames, and I fucking hate videogames, but I will do it for you girl. I will make you feel pretty. I will give you the love you won’t find in hollywood….love is something money can’t buy, but a hefty allowance, access to your bank account and a nice care will help.

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2005

01

Jun

I am – Big Brother Fat Chick Flashing



Happiness comes in all forms, reality TV is not one of them. I don’t have cable and I can’t afford to get it. None of you bitches have been buying my book, so I am hurting, but that doesn’t change the fact that Big Brother was an innovative concept a few years ago, throw a bunch of losers in a house rigged with hidden cameras and see what pans out. It is something I always wanted to do in my stepdaughters’ room and bathroom, but rumor has it that I will get arrested. This big brother bitch is fat, and fat is good, except when you take them on a date to Krispy Kreme, where everything takes a horrible, scary turn for the worse…stuff this turkey and make her gobble while your doing it…that’s going out to the TheFop BITCHES

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2005

01

Jun

I am -Jules Asner’s Clit Hood


I am a fan of sheer panties, I think it’s more exciting to look at a veiled cooch than to see it out in the open stinkin up the motherfucking room. The sheer panty is the panty of tomorrow, or yesterday or today, or every fucking day. Anyone in opaque shit deserves to be shot, and although that may seem harsh, it’s not, I am a lazy man and wouldn’t have the opportunity to see what soiled fabric underwear you bitches are wearing or take the time to actually shoot you, however if you want to impress the closet-case queen you are fucking…rock it sheer, and while your at it get a job hosting Wild On, everyone’s doing it. Even that slut Tara Reid. This post has been badly written on purpose, nobody is perfect…not even me. It’s been a challenge but I did it – I wrote sheer 3 times, beat that – asshole.

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2005

01

Jun

I am -Jules Asner's Clit Hood


I am a fan of sheer panties, I think it’s more exciting to look at a veiled cooch than to see it out in the open stinkin up the motherfucking room. The sheer panty is the panty of tomorrow, or yesterday or today, or every fucking day. Anyone in opaque shit deserves to be shot, and although that may seem harsh, it’s not, I am a lazy man and wouldn’t have the opportunity to see what soiled fabric underwear you bitches are wearing or take the time to actually shoot you, however if you want to impress the closet-case queen you are fucking…rock it sheer, and while your at it get a job hosting Wild On, everyone’s doing it. Even that slut Tara Reid. This post has been badly written on purpose, nobody is perfect…not even me. It’s been a challenge but I did it – I wrote sheer 3 times, beat that – asshole.

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2005

01

Jun

I am – A Bathing Ape Ain’t Cool

I know Nigo is making mad money on this shit, enough to pay Pharell retarded amounts to sport his gear, and enough to get full diamond caps, cuz you know that shit’s hip hop. I don’t care what people say, this shirt is ugly and I don’t support anything A Bathing Ape does, except for the excess amount of drugs, because drugs are always cool, even when your T-shirt is not….I like to think the people who rock this shit are the wave that hit the shores of Thailand 3 weeks after the tsunami…if you don’t get the analogy it’s simple…the people who rock this shit are either getting paid, or are insignifcant I-pod rockin – hip hop hipster posers. Put on your trendy blazer over your t-shirt and Big up your motherfucking self.

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2005

01

Jun

I am – A Bathing Ape Ain't Cool

I know Nigo is making mad money on this shit, enough to pay Pharell retarded amounts to sport his gear, and enough to get full diamond caps, cuz you know that shit’s hip hop. I don’t care what people say, this shirt is ugly and I don’t support anything A Bathing Ape does, except for the excess amount of drugs, because drugs are always cool, even when your T-shirt is not….I like to think the people who rock this shit are the wave that hit the shores of Thailand 3 weeks after the tsunami…if you don’t get the analogy it’s simple…the people who rock this shit are either getting paid, or are insignifcant I-pod rockin – hip hop hipster posers. Put on your trendy blazer over your t-shirt and Big up your motherfucking self.

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2005

01

Jun

I am – Kate Moss Topless Photoshoot


There is something about models and photoshoots that would totally give me a boner if I was capable of achieving an erection which I am not. My doctor says it is my blood pressure medication, but I think it’s my issue with monogamy. I don’t feel like cheating is right, probably my strict catholic up-bringing – priests included….and there is nothing wrong with monogamy when your significant other has some level of sex appeal. Unfortunately that is not the life story and I am living with the fattest bitch I have ever seen, but we all have our problems, and I shouldn’t be such a limp-dicked bitch about it. Point of the story is Kate Moss is doing a photoshoot and these are the pics someone took of her changing. We all like tits even when they are on a twiggy model with small tits. I personally like how she is looking down her pants to ensure her junk is still in place. Models fuck a lot and you can miscarry at any given time, uterus and all….dirty sluts.

Respect.

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2005

26

May

I am – Dude Getting Fucked Up the Ass by a Chick

The site keeps getting smuttier and smuttier, and I don’t give a fuck. I will drive this motherfucker into the ground. There is only so much celebrity shit I can handle, and when I come across something as golden as a dude takin it like a bitch, I can’t just sit on it and not deliver the motherfucking goods. Now for a little commentary on this situation…..some guys have powerful jobs and like to be submissive, some guys like a little anal play and there’s nothing wrong with that, some guys are secretly closet cases and have imbeded urges to get fucked by another person but can’t come out of the closet, because their parents won’t approve. Most girls, given the opportunity would fuck their significant other, because people like power…and the person who is “taking it” is generally not in the power position. I hope you liked this, and feel free to test this out with your friends, cuz trust me – I aint judging. I have never let my wife fuck me, but that’s mainly because I am scared she will have a heartattack…any physical activity can push her over the edge. We prefer when she just lies there like the slob that she is…

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2005

26

May

I am – Paris Hilton Nip Slip


We have all seen her nipples so many fuckin times, and we know that it’s really not at all interesting, but I will post them anyway, because all nip slips lack a whole lot on the stimulation front, and by stimulation I don’t mean erection, I mean that we are de-sensitized, nip slips are so last year, they bore us all, and we think it’s time for celebs to have clit-slips….hook it up Paris.

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2005

26

May

I am – Lil’ Kim Nip Slip

Hip hop is dead, it’s true. Unfortunately, I never considered Lil’ Kim to be hip hop. She’s more of a groupie bitch, who somehow sucked enough dick to get a record of her own. The benefit of having an ex-crackwhore on stage in front of lots of people is that she jacks up her underwear and lets her dirty tits hangout all over the motherfucker. I am wondering what that patch is on the right tit (her right), I am thinking it’s the contraceptive patch, to ensure bitch doesn’t get knocked up (again), because identifying the babby daddy is a total pain in the ass….

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