Britney’s not looking so hot lately – so I decided to post this throwback where we can see a little bit of her nipple. This reminds us of the time before her big belly, barefoot bathroom romps and her major foot rash and nose-picking sessions. It doesn’t, however, remind us of a time before Kevin’s white trash dick was deep inside her babyhole, only because that shit is deeply embedded in our brains and no matter how hard we try – we are unable to forget….kinda like the memories of my uncle back in Mexico touching me in dirty places…however I remember than night like it was yesterday. Thanks Pablo, I got you for life.

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We have talked about Vida Guerra before and before that. She is a Mexican girl, like me, only I am not a girl, but I am sure you wish I was so you could fuck me – don’t you, pervert. Anyway, she went to some event, wore sheer lingerie – paraded around and that was the end of that. I am pretty sure that’s the extent of what she has to offer the entertainment world. The major question is what will she do when her ass goes to shit…..I remember when I had everything going for me. A hot body, an amazing drug and prostitution ring, money and pussy that was just crying for my loving….it all went to shit pretty quickly and I predict that for Vida.

More Pics After The Jump

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Dolls are made of plastic, they aren’t real people. But when you get lonely and lack the ability to maintain healthy relationships, you turn to your dolls. The world is a mean place, I understand that. You were teased, mis-treated and abused. You were laughed at for wearing the wrong things and having bad skin. The girl you always dreamt about never came your way. You are a loser in life but there is a solution. Get a sex doll, she won’t judge you, she won’t laugh at you, she won’t break your heart. She will always be there waiting for you to get home from work. She won’t have dinner on the table, but that’s a small trade-off for having something to live for…..

Today’s post is called “when did you first get into dolls?”:

Giverny,

I think I was 8 or 9 when I got a Barbie (I don’t remember how I got it). I thought she was beautiful, and dreamed of her coming to life and marrying her. But after a couple of days, an older brother found me playing with her, and degraded me for it (Men don’t play with dolls!). So I threw her away.

In my teen years, I saw adds for “lifelike” love dolls and fantasized about them.

I was almost 40 old before I bought a doll. And now I have Phoebe. And if someone finds me playing with her, they can go fuck themselves. I’m not giving her up.

Mahtek & Phoebe

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Nothing represents your existence. I don’t mean to be negative, but seriously look at yourself and ask “what have I done lately?” If your answer is nothing, than you can thank me later for helping you recognize your pathetic life. I don’t mean to be an asshole, I just say it how it is, and trust me your mom’s been wanting to tell you this for a longtime. Nothing is what this t-shirt represents. It’s a pretty easy guess as to wear I got this bitch from, so I won’t bother posting the link. Kisses….

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So we know that Lohan and Valderrama are still fucking. She was spotted going back to his hotel room after some event somewhere. If Lohan was throwing her pussy at you, I am sure you’d gracefully accept. Girls are crazy, they always run back to their ex’s, I don’t understand it at all. When it’s done – it should be done. You should be packing your Luis Vuiton bags and getting on the next bus to my cock…..

In more important news

LINDSAY LOHAN’S dad is at it again. While drying out in the Betty Ford Center, Michael Lohan decided to feed some birds that were on the grounds by attaching some cheese to a paper clip tied to a string. The birds loved the cheese so much it caused a tussle with the feathered friends getting into a not-so-friendly tug-o-war over it. It turns out the birds were a protected species and feeding them is a no-no. Wildlife authorities got wind of it and told the center they’d be slapped with a $20,000 fine the next time.

Source: Premiere Radio Networks

More Pics of Lohan after the jump

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We were happy to open our inbox and have these exclusive pictures of the newest MicroKitten.com model shoot. Her name is Maria and she is probably better looking than any girl you know. I know these Micro bikinis are all the rage and waxed bitches everywhere are rocking them like they are hot, and I know they are hot, because I look at the pictures and feel a warm sensation in my pants….but my newest stance is that the bikini wax is so last year. So people at MicroKitten.com, I am begging you to get these things on a lady with muff, cuz there ain’t nothing hotter….

Check out the pics – after the jump

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Bondage is made for champions. Men of power love to be tied up and spanked like the bad little boys that they are. Bondage becomes a compulsion when all you have in your shitty little apartment is a hospital bed and restraints. Bondage is unhealthy when you can’t climax unless your balls are strapped down to a table while a woman in stilettos stomps them down. Pain in pleasure is what bondage is…and rumor is it’s perfectly normal. I beg to differ. When you buy one of these 300 dollar head cages, you have mad issues. I am not your therapist but dude, you may need one. The closest thing I ever did to bondage was tie those two bitches up and throw them in my trunk, I warned them it would happen if they resisted. They shoulda listened. In all honesty – that was a joke – and it wasn’t funny. I don’t know if you read the story but some dude killed a girl for not kissing him . We like to call that “bondage: the early years”

This 100% Steel Head Cage Takes Your Scene to a New Level
This sensory deprivation or meditation device is truly unique. It matches our ball shaped Steel Fist Mitts perfectly. The enclosure opens into two halves which are hinged together. The head is placed inside and then closed and secured with 1 lock on each set of d-rings. There is one small hole in the back part of the head cage and five in the front to facilitate air flow. The holes in the front allow a limited amount of vision. Sound flow is distorted causing an interesting sensory deprivation effect. It can be locked securely with 2 padlocks (not included).

The head cage is 12 inches x 12 inches which makes it a one size fits all design.

The Steel Head Cage weighs approx. 15 lbs. It should be suspended from above to prevent neck injury due to excessive weight resting on the tendons in the neck and shoulders.

Made with 2 size locking collars the 5 inch diameter or 6 inch diameter size. Matching fist mitts shown below.

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You may remember Team Fuck from their posts. Well they have left us to do their own thing. These guys are crazier than you are. Their concept is to fuck shit up and document it. They are always drunk. They are always harassing the ladies because that’s how they are living. They have invited me to tag along on some of their adventures, I haven’t gone to date, because I can’t keep up. I like to do my molesting on a smaller scale. I think a camera in my face would fuck up my sleaze. The only reason I say that, is because I don’t want any documentation of what I actually do. It’s better to deny all accusations. The second a video is involved, we know we is fucked.

They have recently launched a site and here are the video clips for you to love.

Shopping Cart

Girl getting knocked down

Visit their motherfucking site TeamFuckOnline.com Motherfuckers!

I just made you famous – bitch.

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Natasha Lyonne is not hot, she had big boobs in “Slums of Beverly Hills” but it’s clear that her life in the limelight has taken its toll. Her nipple is pale, which reminds me of the Albino I used to date, only difference was that she didn’t have nipples, or toes for that matter.

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You know how we feel about the fleshlight, we think it’s a tool for perverts and people with a major masturbation addiction. We know that not everyone is as charming as they would like to be. They have trouble scoring the real ladies so turning to a rubber vagina is the clear option. It seems like the fleshlight is also a tool for couples, or men pretending to be women. Here is the post of the day:

Read the post after the jump…it’s funny….but don’t take my word for it.

It’s Been A While Since I’ve Been Here… Wanted To Share Our “FUN” We Had Last Nite, With The Pink Lady. Before I Get Started, I’m A Big Fan Of Watching & Listening. Sometimes, I’d Rather “Watch” Him Play, Then Do Anything Else. It’s A Huge Turn On For Me. Call Me Weird.. Last Nite We Were Laying On The Couch Watching TV, I Got Up To Use The Bathroom, Came Back – And He Was Nakid. He Smiled At Me, And Reached Down, And Held Up “Her”. Smiling, I Sat Down On The Other End Of The Couch, And Started Watching Him. He Was Rubbing Just The Head Of His Cock, Across Her Lips, And Looking At Me. Like I Said Before, That Drives Me Crazy.. So, It Didn’t Take Too Long To Get Me Excited.

I Layed Back, I Had A Skirt On, No Panties.. And Started Rubbing. He Had A Nice View Of Me, And Started Rubbing “Her” Faster, Making That Wet Sound I Love. I Told Him To Start Fukin It Hard, So He Slid His Cock Inside Her, And Pumped Away For A Few Minutes, Moaning. Finally, He Said He Wanted The Real Thing, I Was More Than Happy To Oblige. We Got Down On The Floor, Facing The Couch, He Got Behind Me. And Slowly Slid His Hard Cock In, It Felt Soo Good As He Was Fukin Me Hard.

I Reached Up And Grabbed “HER” Off The Couch, And Put It Between My Legs, And Told Him To Fuck Us Both. He Slid His Cock Out, And Started Fukin Her For A Little Bit, Then Pulled Out, And Did Me. 10 Minutes Later, I Had An Unbelievable Orgasm, And He Was Ready To Blow. I Held “HER” Really Tight Underneath Me, And Told Him To Cum, He Was Pumping Away, And Started Moaning As He Came Inside Her, Filling Her Up. Then I Layed On The Floor, And He Let It Run Out Into My Mouth…. MMMM………. Very Fun Evening!!

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