I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2005

18

Jan

I am – Britney’s gotta doo real hard….

Britney Spears was spotted using a public washroom. I guess the whole image of someone like Britney using a public
bathroom is hilarious considering she could probably afford to make her very own bathroom anywhere she wanted.
She could even afford a gold-plated colostomy bag that Kevin is forced to change twice a day to earn his keep.

Point of the post is when I was down on my luck, living in a 1 room shit hole with a clogged toilet that I couldn’t afford to fix.
I used to go to the local gas station. The shit I found was incredible, used condoms, shit smeared on the walls and my favorite…used tampons.

I think Britney was just feeling a little homesick…that’s all. Give the girl a break, let her shit in peace.

Nothing after the jump…but check out the foot herpes(Stereogum)

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2005

18

Jan

I am – Britney's gotta doo real hard….

Britney Spears was spotted using a public washroom. I guess the whole image of someone like Britney using a public
bathroom is hilarious considering she could probably afford to make her very own bathroom anywhere she wanted.
She could even afford a gold-plated colostomy bag that Kevin is forced to change twice a day to earn his keep.

Point of the post is when I was down on my luck, living in a 1 room shit hole with a clogged toilet that I couldn’t afford to fix.
I used to go to the local gas station. The shit I found was incredible, used condoms, shit smeared on the walls and my favorite…used tampons.

I think Britney was just feeling a little homesick…that’s all. Give the girl a break, let her shit in peace.

Nothing after the jump…but check out the foot herpes(Stereogum)

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2005

18

Jan

I am – The histroy of the Jews

This site covers the history of the Jews from the begininng, the real begininning in 1741 BCE when “Abraham began his long journey from Haran to Canaan.” The whole site was compilled by Eli Birnbaum, if you are bored you can email him click here.

Highlights:

306 A.D. “One of the earliest Christian councils the Council of Elvira decreed that intermarriage and social intercourse with Jews were forbidden”.

325 A.D. the council OF NICEA forbade Jews to own Christian slaves or convert pagans to Judaism.

576 Paris (Gaul) “During a procession, a recent convert was drenched with rancid oil by a former co-religionist”

692 TRULAN ECUMENICAL COUNCIL (Italy), it intensified the Eastern Church’s segregation of the Jews. Clergymen were forbidden, on pain of excommunication, to bathe in public baths with Jews, employ a Jewish doctor or socialize with Jews.

1201 WORMS (Germany) “Jews took up arms to fight alongside the city’s non-Jewish residents against an attack. At that time Jews were still permitted to bear arms in various cities in Germany, although this privilege would soon be abolished”.

1505 CESKE BUDEJOVICE (Czechoslovakia) Ten Jews were tortured and killed after being accused by a local shepherd of killing a local girl. Years later, on his deathbed, the shepherd confessed he made up the whole story.
Visit the Site

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2005

17

Jan

I am – Anorexic Porn

After all the negative feedback we got for objectifying woman from some fat bitch with a menstrual cup, I decided to post the negative effects of sites like ours, and the whole media world for that matter. It’s called aorexia, and it is something that happens to girls who don’t want to be fat, and in their quest to be skinny, become obsessive with skinny, and don’t eat any food until they look like skeletons, their reproductive organs fall out of their bodies, and they die a lonely death, but at least they aren’t fat, and they are definitely a cheap date, which is always nice in this high maintenance world. You know how we feel about fat girls, they make us sick, stop eating donuts bitch….

This shit isn’t porno, it’s fucking ethiopian, and no matter how much I objectify women (which I don’t), I don’t advocate becoming a skeleton, because seriously girl, we like boobies and you don’t got none….

I lost the full gallery, they switched the link on me and turned it into spyware – fuckers..

More pics and links after the jump…

But here is the site it is from and some preview galleries for you to get off to..sick-o

SexyAnorexic.com

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2005

17

Jan

I am – Golden Globes 2005 Round-up

I don’t like award shows. They’re stupid, boring, and purely serve as a self-congratulatory pat on the back for Hollywood. Of course, if I ever win an award, I’m sure my tone will change quite quickly. At any rate, last night was the Golden Globes, and here are some of the attendees.

Hi-res pics after the jump.

Teri Hatcher

Nicole Kidman

Natalie Portman

Mischa Barton

Minnie Driver

Marcia Cross

Kate Hudson

Jennifer Garner

Halle Berry

Eva Longoria

Emmy Rossum

Debra Messing

Claire Danes

Charlize Theron

Maggie Grace

Evangeline Lilly

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2005

17

Jan

I am – Brad’s Monday Morning Link List

This is the Monday morning link dump. If you would like to send me a sardonic link you have you can always email me at: brad.jew@gmail.com

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2005

17

Jan

I am – Brad's Monday Morning Link List

This is the Monday morning link dump. If you would like to send me a sardonic link you have you can always email me at: brad.jew@gmail.com

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2005

17

Jan

I am – Natasha Lyonne: Jewish Celebrity of the Day

Back by popular demand is the Drunken Stepfather Jewish Celebrity of the day (that never happens more than once or twice a week). Today’s Jewish celeb is Hollywood actress Natasha Lyonne, who’s last name was Braunstein before she changed it to hide her Jewish roots. If you have no idea who I am talking about, she played the slutty chick in those American pie movies.

Now comes news that she was recently arrested in her Manhatten pad for making “menacing remarks to a neighbour’s pet” earlier in the week. Via E!Online

BIO, Pics and more after the Jump

BIO:

Natasha Lyonne was born Natasha Braunstein on April 4th, 1979 in New York City. She spent her childhood in both New York and Israel as did her brother, Adam, who served in the Israeli army. Natasha attended Yeshiva high school, a Jewish high school in Manhattan. Her big acting break came when Woody Allen chose the then-16-year-old Natasha to portray his daughter, D.J., in his first musical motion picture, Everyone Says I Love You. After that, Natasha became known as someone who could play a whole range of eccentric, lovable characters and has since been cast in both small and feature rolls, including the naïve teenager Megan Bloomfield in But I’m a Cheerleader

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2005

17

Jan

I am – Fleshlight Suicide

The fleshlight is a male sex toy that looks like a flashlight, but when you pop off the top you find yourself a big surprise. By surprise I mean a prosthetic vagina, mouth or anus. They come in a wide array of colors and are perfect for people like you. Once you admit to yourself that you have no chance in this world to get laid because your social skills are lacking, and let’s face it you aren’t a teen heart throb, the fleshlight is a great alternative. But it seems that the fleshlight isn’t all great…After the jump you will see a sad case of a man and his fleshlight. We call this piece the fleshlight suicide, and it was taken directly from the fleshlght message board. Have a great night loser.

Fleshlight suicide after the jump…

It’s not the Fleshlight’s fault, really. Just the fact that trying to use the one I ordered for my 34th birthday has rammed home the basic fact that I am a loser and that I am never going to get laid in my life.

I am apparently both too small and too big to use the Fleshlight. Small in the penis and big in the grossly overweight stomach. The result is that I apparently can’t get very deep into the thing and experience the ribbing and other textures.

I ordered four inserts at once, three supertights with the three sorts of textures — wave, ribbed, bumped — and one ultratight. With all of them I have been having an incredible struggle to find a comfortable position to get in with my enormous stomach to allow for using the thing long enough to get off. I apparently developed a way to masturbate by hand that deluded myself into thinking I was normal. I am obviously not. I can only seem to go about an inch and a half into this Fleshlight before my fat gets in the way and the smallness of my penis defeat the purpose. The incredible depression of the experience makes it hard for me to stay erect as the whole time I am thinking about what a deformed, out-of-shape loser I am, so I end up only half hard or less.

Today is my 34th birthday. I have never had a girlfriend in my life, due to being a shy fatass with an ugly skin condition that I was afraid of having anyone see by taking my clothes off. I am so incredibly fucking lonely and depressed. I just want to be able to hug a woman, to hold her in my arms. Sex is frankly secondary to me, which is lucky given that I haven’t had any except with my own hand.

I bought this thing thinking I would treat myself and make myself happier, but it has just driven home how fucked I am. I guess my only hope at this point is to find a woman who doesn’t mind me only using oral sex on her because my penis obviously doesn’t work very well.

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2005

16

Jan

I am – Google Images of the Day

It’s been awhile since I posted a google image of the day. Well lucky for you, today’s word is “Peeing” and here are what I consider to be the best results….If you think I am wrong, I don’t really care, because I am the one typing here and you aren’t…..

My picks after the jump….

Peeing through my booty shorts, momma would be proud

Virgins for life, but we keep on peeing….

So poor that a peeing animal is my shower…

These used to be white shorts…but I couldn’t stop peeing…

Reconsider the next time your boyfriend asks to take a pic of you peeing…

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