I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2005

13

Jan

I am – Snoop Doggy Dogg Biscuitz

Snoop has landed a shoe deal with Pony Shoes. So now you can watch him in the movies, listen to him on the ipod and even on the radio. You can wear him on your feet, and if you lucky you can sleep with his wife.

These shoes are alright, I am not totally droppin them like they are hot, and I am not Using Pharell’s Ice Creams to cool them down…I seriously doubt I would ever rock ’em, but I guess they are okay for the mainstream.

Yes, I am talking to you 15 year old wigger from the suburbs.

The stoy and pics are after the jump.

Straight from the slums of ContactMusic.com….

DOGG LANDS FOOTWEAR DEAL

Rap star SNOOP DOGG has signed a deal with American sports company PONY INTERNATIONAL to endorse a new range of footwear.

The RHYTHM + GANGSTA: THE MASTERPIECE star will promote the Biscuitz sports shoe range – Biscuitz is an American slang word for trainers or sneakers.

KILLICK DATTA, Pony’s Chief Executive Officer, says, “Pony is committed to matching Snoop’s high standards in everything we do under this incredible partnership and it is clear by his exclusive commitment to us that he has confidence in our ability to do so.”

Snoop’s influence on the range is immediately obvious with shoe styles bearing such names as The Snoopadoopa, Snoopalicious and Snoopfly. Five thousand sample pairs were released in America last December (04) and came with a Snoop cut-out.

Check out the high-tizzles here

and the low tizzles here

Fo’ Rizzle

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2005

13

Jan

I am – Lohan Gone Wild

Lohan is filming in New Orleans, so she did what every good cokehead should, party! Here is a camera phone (my favorite) picture of the girl in action. I love seeing Lindsay high, it reminds me of when I used to sell her Meth.

I have never been to New Orleans but I am fat and I had a concept for a porno called “muslim girls gone jihad” and it was traditional muslim girls who make the move to North America for school, and found a passion for booze, drugs and gangbangs. I never got around to doing it, because I don’t mingle with other races.

I am a little slow on this picture, because my celebrity insider died…

Lohan’s Rolling Stone pics after the jump, fool.

UPDATE: More pics after the jump curtosy of Defamer

Defamer.com is good at this, I am just fat!

These are Rolling Stone Magazine pics, unfortunately from TheSuperficial, yes I know…he gets more traffic than us, so my hatred may seem like jealously but it is for other reasons….

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2005

13

Jan

I am – British College of Colon Hydrotherapy

I know getting a colonic is very hollywood. It’s all about flushing the system of toxins after having a hardcore coke binge. We all know the reality is that you like the feeling. Warm flowing water filling your gaping asshole is something like paradise, eutopia if you will. Well if I had the money I would get a colonic, but when I feel the need to get the toxins out of my body, I just drink clear liquor instead of the brown liquor. Rumor is, the stronger the proof, the better it is for your body. Save for the liver.

If however you’re stuck on this colonic kick, or you are a sick fuck who likes shoving tubes in people’s asses there is an alternative. You can make a career out of it. And what better way to spend the next 20 years of your life than looking at anus all day.

Much more goodies after the jump sweetheart….

Staff of the Colonic School

The School Principal looks completely normal to me…

This is an expert tutor

And this is an independant examiner…whatever that means…

Info Taken from their site:

Situated in the heart of Gloucester Fairview is the only clinic in Gloucestershire that is dedicated solely to the practice of Colon Hydrotherapy

COURSE CONTENT

General

Please note training involves students receiving at least 4 colonic treatments and administering 10 treatments.

Terminology used in colonic treatments.

History and Philosophy of Colonic Hydrotherapy.

Anatomy & Physiology of Pelvis, Pelvic Floor, Colon, Rectum and Abdomen.

Functional & diagnostic aspects of Colon.

Faecal stool study.

Autonomic nervous system.

Laboratory studies

Herbs & implants; Iridology studies; Pathology; diseases, motility abnormalities & parasites.

Normal & pathogenic colon flora; Effect of pharmaceutical drugs on the colon.

Equipment; Room layout; Plumbing & Regulations; Sterilants & sterilisation techniques.

Manual techniques

Digital examination, Reasons for; Size of Anus, Haemorrhoids or other abnormalities, Prostate size (in male patients), Angle of Rectum. Proper lubrication of anus and relaxation of sphincters. Insertion of instruments. Reassurance of the patient during the manual phase. Palpation of abdomen; Auscultation; Implants;.

Other

Contra indications for colonic hydrotherapy.
Office procedure. Case history taking. Use of robes, dress & patient care, (before, during and after treatment)

Office management.

Filing and file security: Accounting, Business plans, Professional indemnity insurance, local authority issues.

And here are the freaky students who want to spend a lifetime cleaning assholes.

email them here:
coloncollege@aol.com

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2005

13

Jan

I am – Ricky Martin Tsunami Aid

I always felt bad for Ricky Martin. His career peaked at a time where homo wasn’t cool. He had to pretend he was straight. He hired hot dancers who wore skimpy outfits and he sangs songs of freedom, like Living La Vida Loca. It’s not his fault he turned poofer, what do you expect when you take up song and dance at the age of 13. I know when I was a street performer with a local dance troop, busking our way to the liquor store, I felt a close bond to the guys. Unlike Ricky,I wouldn’t get hard from it.

What better time than a natural disaster to re-launch your career and get in the public eye, at least this time around his label will let the love interest in his videos be a dude.

More pictures of Ricky, After the jump

Look – There goes my career

But I am gonna grab it by the balls and make sweet fuck to it.

Damn – all this work is making me thirsty

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2005

13

Jan

I am – a big baby…

I think of love the infantilism fetish. There is something really funny about grown men in diapers soiling themselves, and getting their partners to change the diaper. Dressing up like a baby has got to be the least sexual thing I can think of doing with my Claudette. I am more into the puberty years where I make girls dress up like a school girls, cheerleaders and Lohan. I sign their permission slips and report cards and I attend their PTA meetings. I teach them the inner working of sex and they teach me the latest dance moves. Fuck dressing like a baby it’s all about being with someone old enough to be your baby.

More infantilism pics…after the jump.

To purchase infantilism product click here:

I have emailed them for copies of their videos, if anyone can send me infantilism videos, I will marry your first born daughter

You all should email them too:
shop@hbenterprises.co.uk

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2005

13

Jan

I am – Tiffany Teen’s Highschool Yearbook

Someone has found Tiffany Teen’s High School year book for those that care.

Her yearbook pictures and her nude hardcore pictures – HERE

Details after the Jump.

Tiffany Teen, who’s real name is Robyn (insert last name here), attended Naperville Central, a high school in Chicago and I think she graduated in the class of 2002, which could mean she is well under 21 unless she was a failure in her studies. Rumors say she’ll quit the Internet. Ha! Who cares? There’s plenty of blondes graduating high school this year to take her place.

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2005

13

Jan

I am – Tiffany Teen's Highschool Yearbook

Someone has found Tiffany Teen’s High School year book for those that care.

Her yearbook pictures and her nude hardcore pictures – HERE

Details after the Jump.

Tiffany Teen, who’s real name is Robyn (insert last name here), attended Naperville Central, a high school in Chicago and I think she graduated in the class of 2002, which could mean she is well under 21 unless she was a failure in her studies. Rumors say she’ll quit the Internet. Ha! Who cares? There’s plenty of blondes graduating high school this year to take her place.

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2005

12

Jan

I am – magic moments with minx

so this morning i wake up and it is still dark out-
no surprise, i have not slept since i swallowed 5 pills of x, hoovered my own 8 ball and didnt let any of my stepfather’s sperm drip out of my mouth (approx 2 swallows) new years eve. finally last night i got into a fight with one of the old ladies up the street-she kept accusing me of stealing her sunglasses, and i kept sucking my teeth because i am always ready to fight for my right, bitches. after i sort her out and leave her on the curb with her teeth in my pocket and a snippet of her left ear lobe around my neck (trademark doctor 2oo3) i pass out on the pavement. one of the servants must have found me and brought me back, because when i woke up i was in lingerie. this afternoon i met up with my old babysitter, rodriquez martinez. roy and i go way back to when i was 6 and my mother would only be home to pass out underneath some oil tycoon for as long as it would take him to cum and give her his life’s savings. because of this she hired roy to feed us krispy kreme and absolut with cheerios for breakfast, lunch and dinner. roy was great. everyday was a holiday with him and being his favorite (i was the only girl who was developped at the time) he spent the majority of his time with 8 of my brothers, my 4 sisters and me teaching us how to suppress our gag reflexes by putting his fists down our throats or slapping his nude thighs while he laughed as we danced around him and had pillow fights in our bathing suits. my favorite memory of roy though, is on my 12th birthday, after my bat mitzvah ceremony, roy met me outside the housegates when it was dark out and stuck his tongue in my ear, lifted me over his shoulder, put me into his wood panneled station wagon and made me bleed between my legs with his third leg (my favorite leg). i didnt tell roy any of this today when we met up, because i was not really responsive from the lines i did on the way there after the granny incident and because i was too busy waxing his butt crack while he ate me out to say much aside from “oooh yeaahhh rodriguez martinez, you’re my papi” and “this is better than when i was 12, oh oh! just like that…yeahhh”

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2005

12

Jan

I am – Drunken Interview with DJ AM

Born in 1973, this pimp hustled his way to LA where he took the club scene by storm. He was the DJ in CrazyTown, did work with Will Smith, and gets constant work playing events that you wish you were cool enough to attend, but you aren’t…

So you better read the interview – after the jump.

While AM (Born Adam Goldstein) seems to feel the love, he is in a relationship with the hottest little thing I ever did see (she’s mexican too) Nicole Richie. She is the daughter of Lionel Richie, Hello, is it me your lookin for? No! I was looking for my stepdaughter…

This man, AM, is a true hero, and I am not talking about donating to that Tsunami crisis, or the fact that he has a black baby, I am talking about the fact that he granted the drunkenstepfather with an email interview and giving us straight-up honest answers. He’s also a DJ, and everyone loves a DJ.

Bam, Here is AM

INTERVIEW REMOVED AT THE REQUEST OF LIONEL RICHIE

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2005

12

Jan

I am – Public Service Announcement

This is probaby the weirdest/saddest email that I have ever received. I decided to use this blog for some good and post this, because I never know who may be reading….You see the Drunken Stepfather isn’t all bad, when it comes to girls in need, I always do my best to deliver. When it comes to a girl who was in a natural disaster, who lost her parents and who doesn’t remember who she is, I try to use the power of the internet to spread the word…..so get up on this.

The email went a little something like this:

IMPORTANT!
SHE IS AT THE PHUKET HOSPITAL.
SHE DOES NOT REMEMBER ANYTHING.
SHE LOST HER PARENTS.
PLEASE FORWARD THIS E-MAIL, SOMEONE WHO MIGHT REALIZE WHO SHE IS.
THANK YOU.

There you go, so just email this around and be a hero you selfish bastard.

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