I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2004

16

Dec

I am – Paris Hilton's Wedgie

Shooshtime had a series of pictures of Paris Hilton picking her wedgie.
It isn’t that big of a deal considering we have all seen a dick in her mouth…
Wedgies are always funny…even better than dick in our mouths…

HERE

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2004

16

Dec

I am – Rosebud

This is the weirdest site I have come across…

Butt Plugs are cool, I watched a documentary on pornstars the day before an anal scene. They take all measures to look good while getting dicked in the bum. This regiment includes enemas and rockin a butt plug for the entire day before the shoot.

These aren’t butt plugs, I just wanted to drop my porn knowledge, because if I don’t do it here, where will I do it. That’s right.. now keep reading,

This site is a showcase of Anal Jewelry…the actually jewelry is pretty crafty, carved faces and gems….this is a really classy tail. If I owned one, I would totally crawl on all fours showing this off.

The product is weird in itself, but the real issue for me is the presentation…a mosaic of anus art.

I wonder who the mastermind behind this site is.. I am sure he is really normal…like the kind of guy you want to bring home to your mom…it does make a pretty nice mother’s day gift!

Check out more

HERE

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2004

16

Dec

I am – Cock Jewelry

Everyone needs some Ice for their privates., and not the kind of ice you find in your bling it up with cock Jewelry. The problem is that this looks more like a christmas tree decoration…it makes my scrotum jingle….

“Our CockJewelryâ„¢ is just the ticket for a man who wants to show off his stuff! These sexy designs won’t cause any damage and are truly comfortable to wear.”

“CJ101 – CockJewelryâ„¢ featuring a silky smooth satin cord that encircles the head of the penis, made snug with a metal slide. The ends of the cord feature a crystal, bead, and chain ornament. $15.99 each”

HERE

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2004

16

Dec

I am – Spongebob’s Wet Dream

Ha ha. Get it?

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2004

16

Dec

I am – Spongebob's Wet Dream

Ha ha. Get it?

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2004

16

Dec

I am – Lindsay Lohan’s Vocal Track

How sad is it that Lindsday Lohan is purposely trying to pull an “Ashlee” (remember when that used to be called a “milli?”) by badly lip-synching during “live” performances? We already know you can’t sing. We just don’t care though. Lindsay, people are only buying you’re CD with the faint hope that there might be a few descent pics in the liner notes. Wait, are people actually buying her CD?

By the way, don’t do a pole dance with a mic stand. If you’re gonnna do it, do it right.

watch the video here (.wmv – via bigboys.com)

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2004

16

Dec

I am – Lindsay Lohan's Vocal Track

How sad is it that Lindsday Lohan is purposely trying to pull an “Ashlee” (remember when that used to be called a “milli?”) by badly lip-synching during “live” performances? We already know you can’t sing. We just don’t care though. Lindsay, people are only buying you’re CD with the faint hope that there might be a few descent pics in the liner notes. Wait, are people actually buying her CD?

By the way, don’t do a pole dance with a mic stand. If you’re gonnna do it, do it right.

watch the video here (.wmv – via bigboys.com)

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2004

16

Dec

I am – Gayville, Canada

In honor of our favorite cunt who posted anonymously… we (being me, Jesus Martinez) decided that todays google images would be on the word Gayville.
You can see the results HERE

Top 5 pictures are:

Anonymous Our Comment Star

GAYVILLE USA (in blue)

Anonymous Our Comment Star’s Home (he’s poor)

Anonymous Our Comment Star’s Girlfriend (she’s got male pattern baldness and a beard – oh anonymous you poor twat)

The Boy from Down the Way

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2004

16

Dec

I am – Whore Beach

Yeah – I was thinking about sending me my eldest stepdaughter here. She is 16, she looks good in a bikini so I figured it would do her some good, teach her how to treat a man…

This resort takes being a crack whore to a whole new level. I mean I remember paying for sex after dropping one of the girls off at the mall… this big tranny looking thing asked me if I wanted a good time, I was like – I am Jesus Martinez, I am always looking for a good time. Long story short, we went into an alley where she proceeded to suck me off… now this alley stank of piss and was filled with garbage and homeless men…i gave her 10 dollars and a pack of smokes. It was nothing like this week long escort resort where you get a companion who you fuck and a beach where you tan… this bring luxury to whoring

HERE

“At My Wild Vacation our aim is to provide you with the ultimate GFE. We specialize in ADULT vacations that leave nothing out, having but one purpose: To provide YOU with a very healthy dose of passion, desire, and wicked fun. This is not a vacation for everyone, but for the open-minded male, this is your opportunity to have everything you could possibly dream of in a safe, controlled environment without fear of finding yourself in the wrong place at the wrong time. This is the ULTIMATE GFE (Girl Friend Experience)”

If you want to see the girls surf the site.. I am not willing to go through it – I just get upset.. it makes me want to find that tranny and ask for my 10 dollars back!

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2004

16

Dec

I am – on my period

When your woman tells you that she can’t have sex because it is that time of the month, punch her in the face and say “bitch, it’s always time to fuck in my world… a, now finish doing the dishes and make her insert one of these while you are at it…

“Inserted like a diaphragm, its soft, plastic material surrounds your cervical area and collects menstrual fluid. Depending on how heavy your flow is, you can wear it for as long as 12 hours, which gives you a good window for spontaneity.””

If that didn’t make you cum – i don’t know what willl…

I am really feeling their Hot Tip:

“We recommend that you always put in a new INSTEAD® Softcup® before engaging in sexual intercourse just to be sure there is no leakage.”

Read the testimonials here

On a side note – this is the reason women shouldn’t be in the military

Jessica – On Travel I would like to give you my deepest thanks! I’m in the Army, and this is by far the best thing I’ve run into while being deployed overseas. I was in a PX/ BX looking for panty liners and they had run out. I was devastated because we all know you can’t use tampons without the protection of a liner for leakage. Well, I saw the box of INSTEAD® softcups and I bought it. That was the best shopping decision I’ve made in a long time. Where I am located, the conditions are in no way comfortable for having your period. Especially when you time is limited. I had the cleanest period I’ve ever had with absolutely no leaks! I share this product with many of my fellow female soldiers and we all genuinely thank you for this product. It’s a lot easier to focus on your job when you’re not worried about little red spots, and periods will no longer be a hassle for us. Once again, thank you and God bless

BITCH SHOULD BE PROTECTING OUR COUNTRY NOT BUYING TAMPONS (I AM CANADIAN BUT YOU GET THE POINT)

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