I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2004

22

Dec

I am – Fighting Fire With Fire (Crotch)

Lohan, a natural freckled redhead decided to fight fire with fire at some event she went to. Her revenge was to take pictures of the Paparazi …. She’s out of control, maybe it’s all the coke she’s been doing, it’s leaving her all edgy and shit.

Here

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2004

22

Dec

I am – Sex Toy Spending

Jennifer Anniston spent 1900 dollars in a sex shop. The rumor is she was buying her granny the jackrabbit, because there is nothing like given a 90 year old woman in a wheel chair an orgasm, or so I have been told…..

The story can be found here

The rumor is she bought this. We know her marriage is falling apart, and we don’t care.

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2004

22

Dec

I am – Life Lesson

My dad always told me to stretch after working out. This is a picture of his demonstration….

Here

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2004

22

Dec

I am – Pot Flavored Candy

Paris Hilton is endorsing a pot-flavored candy which is really “hot” considering she is used to sucking on herpes cock…..

Speacking of sucking in the bedroom – Paris claims that she isn’t a sexual person, and that she prefers watching movies and just kissing…this comes as no surprise for those of us who saw the sex tape, there were no jerk-off opportunities….I had to go back to watching reruns of the Cosby Show.

For more on the pot story go here

For more on the “sex is boring story” you will have to wait for Rolling Stone to release their People of the Year issue. Paris is still considered a person…

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2004

22

Dec

I am – A Step-Parent

Britney Spears is a Stepmother. I am – a stepfather. That means if you put Britney and me in a room together we would be a hot set of step-parents. Don’t worry, I am mexican, I am used to smell ….and just so you know those werent her feet that stank up the plane, it was K-Feds rotting semen… girl’s trying preggers…giver her a break.

Kevin Federline knocked up his last conquest Shar Jackson without any real problems…I am thinking maybe B-Fed has ovary issues.

Shar Jackson looks like this, and refuses to spend x-mas with the Federlines and the babies as one big family….

Rumor is Star and Al Jones are going to be taking Shar’s place, but that’s only because Star Jones likes turkey….as much as I like homeless looking billionaire drug addicts

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2004

21

Dec

I am – Kurt Russell’s Penis

When men get old they don’t worry about their dick sizes. Even though they sometimes should.

I was on planetsuzy.com and came across pictures of Kurt Russell naked.

HERE

He’s the one banging Goldie Hawn and molesting her daughter Kate Hudson, but it’s cool, from one stepfather to another ‘ respect’

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2004

21

Dec

I am – Kurt Russell's Penis

When men get old they don’t worry about their dick sizes. Even though they sometimes should.

I was on planetsuzy.com and came across pictures of Kurt Russell naked.

HERE

He’s the one banging Goldie Hawn and molesting her daughter Kate Hudson, but it’s cool, from one stepfather to another ‘ respect’

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2004

21

Dec

I am – Story Telling….

Come here boys and girls, there is something I love to do…and that is tell great stories to all of you… it’s something I started doing when I was a little boy. I didn’t have the luxuries you had like TV, Parents and friends. I was alone, so I would tell stories to the animals in the woods….

This is a story that I remember vividly…..I hope you like it…I am not sure where I got it, probably harmony korine’s book 10 years ago… or whenever it was published. I used to be a fan..

A blind boy and his older brother live together in a small house with their middle-aged mother.
The older brother takes care of his blind brother.
He walks him arm-in-arm to school- and to the playground-
He tries to teach him how to play basketball.
One day the blind boy recovers his eyesight. The Blind boy begins an ” AFFAIR”
With his brother.
The mother freaks out- the blind boy kills himself….

The Book Crack Up at the Race Riots can be found

Here

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2004

21

Dec

I am – Ejaculating Eclair

Looking for a holiday project.
Bake gingerpornbread cookies with the family, or the stepfamily.

Instructions are easy to follow, even if you are from a red state

Here

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2004

21

Dec

I am – “Mr. Poutine”

With little fanfare or attention the creator of the poutine Fernand Lachance, died earlier this year at the age of 86. And guess what he died of: Thats right, pulmonary disease. Although he did live till 86 so thats not to bad.

It all happend one cold september night in 1957. That was where Lachance met a trucker with a special request.

“I wanted fries, but I saw cheese curds on the counter. I asked Fernand to mix them together,”

Read on Here

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