I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2004

28

Dec

I am – Supermodel Tsunami

Petra Nemcova – supermodel – sports illustrated slut was vacationing in a beach front bungalow with her photographer boyfriend when the wave hit. Rumor is she was stuck in a tree for numerous hours while her boyfriend still hasn’t been found.

This is a sad story and I have nothing funny to say about it….because I am not funny. But one time when in mexico, I decided to sneak into a resort at Cancun, even though it was far from my native Mexico City…. I got caught in the undertoe, but was saved my some fat white american middle aged man…i think it is comparable. On a similar note, that was the day that I knew I would devote my life to American Culture….

The story is HERE

Some pics to get you through the crisis.




AND SWIMSUIT CLIP HERE (ezshare)

THERE

Hospital Pics I am – Supermodel Tsunami Revisited

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2004

28

Dec

I am – Leonardo Dicaprio’s Penis

Like Leonardo I enjoy being naked. There are many times that I find myself naked in inappropriate places, like the mall, the grocery store and church. I remember being in an old pair of jogging pants at church, and I got an erection. I was fucking hard while this man was telling me how Jesus died for my sins…anyway, the old lady wasn’t impressed when I pulled it out and started jerking off…but the thing you all have to realize is that when I get hard, I need to cum, there are no ifs ands or buts about it….it’s like when you have to pee, and there is a public washroom at the next exit…you will normally make the stop….

The Leonardo story is here – but pictures of his woman Gisele are at the bottom of this post.

LEONARDO DiCAPRIO remains unfazed by onscreen nudity, despite spending days being filmed naked for his latest movie.

DiCaprio’s role as HOWARD HUGHES in THE AVIATOR required him to strip off for a series of love scenes, most of which ended up on the cutting room floor.

But being naked didn’t bother DiCaprio: “I didn’t think about the nudity that much. There was a lot more naked stuff in the movie that they didn’t show.

“I was nude for a good couple of days being filmed.”

Gisele Backside Here

Gisele Frontside Here

Gisele Fake Here

Gisele and Leo Here

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2004

28

Dec

I am – Leonardo Dicaprio’s Penis

Like Leonardo I enjoy being naked. There are many times that I find myself naked in inappropriate places, like the mall, the grocery store and church. I remember being in an old pair of jogging pants at church, and I got an erection. I was fucking hard while this man was telling me how Jesus died for my sins…anyway, the old lady wasn’t impressed when I pulled it out and started jerking off…but the thing you all have to realize is that when I get hard, I need to cum, there are no ifs ands or buts about it….it’s like when you have to pee, and there is a public washroom at the next exit…you will normally make the stop….

The Leonardo story is here – but pictures of his woman Gisele are at the bottom of this post.

LEONARDO DiCAPRIO remains unfazed by onscreen nudity, despite spending days being filmed naked for his latest movie.

DiCaprio’s role as HOWARD HUGHES in THE AVIATOR required him to strip off for a series of love scenes, most of which ended up on the cutting room floor.

But being naked didn’t bother DiCaprio: “I didn’t think about the nudity that much. There was a lot more naked stuff in the movie that they didn’t show.

“I was nude for a good couple of days being filmed.”

Gisele Backside Here

Gisele Frontside Here

Gisele Fake Here

Gisele and Leo Here

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2004

28

Dec

I am – Heavy Metal Parking Lot

This cult movie has inspired me to make my own film. If I told you want it was about, then you would steal my idea and make yourself famous, wouldn’t you cunt?!!? I am just teasing. I love you and need you in my life.

Follow the link to this video and enjoy, it was the original reality TV show….a bunch of drunk heavy metal fans being interviewed before a Judas Priest show. I was at this show, I am in this video…try to find me

HERE

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2004

28

Dec

I am – Heavy Metal Parking Lot

This cult movie has inspired me to make my own film. If I told you want it was about, then you would steal my idea and make yourself famous, wouldn’t you cunt?!!? I am just teasing. I love you and need you in my life.

Follow the link to this video and enjoy, it was the original reality TV show….a bunch of drunk heavy metal fans being interviewed before a Judas Priest show. I was at this show, I am in this video…try to find me

HERE

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2004

28

Dec

I am – Pornstar U

This is a link to a site that teaches people to be pornstars, I think. I don’t know how much effort it really takes to be a pornstar, it’s all about popping a cialis. The guys who don’t pass the test, or don’t perform get fucked up the ass with a strap on. It’s a great concept and it reminds me of my years in prison.

Here

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2004

28

Dec

I am – Pornstar U

This is a link to a site that teaches people to be pornstars, I think. I don’t know how much effort it really takes to be a pornstar, it’s all about popping a cialis. The guys who don’t pass the test, or don’t perform get fucked up the ass with a strap on. It’s a great concept and it reminds me of my years in prison.

Here

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2004

28

Dec

I am – Tranny Love

When I was in Mexico, visiting the mother country I met a man from Brazil. He told me how exciting the hookers are in Rio because the hot ones are usually men and the female ones usually have aids so it’s like Christmas everyday, never knowing what you are gonna get, the best blowjob of your life from a man, making you question your sexuality for the rest of your life because you know you loved it when Felicia was rocking your job, even thought Felicia was really Felipe. Or you can leave with the HIV, like the California Pornstars of last spring…. That being said 40% of hookers in Thailand are dudes and that was the intro to the Spam of the day:

To: drunkjesus@gmail.com
From: Estevane.Bernardine@bostoncases.com
Subject: Chix with Dix

They never thought it would happen to them

That’s what we hear everytime a guy gets tricked by a hot transsexual into thinking that they are a girl. But don’t worry because our fearless guys get so turned on and fascinated that they end up going through with it anyway and we’ve got the hardcore photos & videos to prove it!

Just Updated: Going home with Anna is like scoring with a supermodel! You just couldn’t get any luckier, so when John finds out that his hot catch is really a guy not only was he NOT disappointed, but he got even more turned on! How could a chick this hot have a real dick? Watch the video now!

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2004

28

Dec

I am – Tranny Love

When I was in Mexico, visiting the mother country I met a man from Brazil. He told me how exciting the hookers are in Rio because the hot ones are usually men and the female ones usually have aids so it’s like Christmas everyday, never knowing what you are gonna get, the best blowjob of your life from a man, making you question your sexuality for the rest of your life because you know you loved it when Felicia was rocking your job, even thought Felicia was really Felipe. Or you can leave with the HIV, like the California Pornstars of last spring…. That being said 40% of hookers in Thailand are dudes and that was the intro to the Spam of the day:

To: drunkjesus@gmail.com
From: Estevane.Bernardine@bostoncases.com
Subject: Chix with Dix

They never thought it would happen to them

That’s what we hear everytime a guy gets tricked by a hot transsexual into thinking that they are a girl. But don’t worry because our fearless guys get so turned on and fascinated that they end up going through with it anyway and we’ve got the hardcore photos & videos to prove it!

Just Updated: Going home with Anna is like scoring with a supermodel! You just couldn’t get any luckier, so when John finds out that his hot catch is really a guy not only was he NOT disappointed, but he got even more turned on! How could a chick this hot have a real dick? Watch the video now!

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2004

28

Dec

I am – Famous, What Should I Do

Cocaine.

That’s the answer. If you are at the peak of your career and making a lot of money…you should develop a crazy coke habit that leads into a downward spiral of pain, unhappiness, addiction and good fucking times. I remember when I was 18, I landed my best paying job cleaning office buildings afterdark, I made 10 dollars an hour and I tell you, I was living like a king. I had no family to support and all my money went up my nose!! It was the best time of my life.

Here is the Samantha Mumba story, scroll down for a few pictures. Yes, I know, She is dating Sisqo, his thong song changed my life….and was probably the reason the thong became so popular….I am working on getting him to write the DrunkenStepfather song….I know it will be instant success.

Irish singer turned actress Samantha Mumba has revealed the real reason why she has been out of the spotlight for the past few years: a £1,000-a-week cocaine habit that destroyed her career.Mumba explained that the pressures of the music industry led her to drug addiction which also lead to depression. After an 18-month battle to beat drugs she is now clean and planning to relaunch her career. She appears in the low-budget horror movie “Boy Eats Girl”, and takes a central role in “Johnny Was” with Roger Daltrey and Vinnie Jones.However, she will also be adding the finishing touches to her long-awaited follow-up album to 2000’s “Gotta Tell You”. The album featured several hits but when she began taking drugs, which she says she first used for confidence, her career soon began to suffer.”I think there was a lot of pressure from having a high profile job at such a young age but I think I was responsible for my own actions so I can’t blame it on the pressure of fame,” Mumba explained.”I think it was to do with my being insecure, young and confused at the time.” When I first started doing it you feel chatty and confident like you know everything but after a while it starts to have different affects like paranoia.”Samantha first tried cocaine around the age of 19 and it was not until a year later she knew she was addicted after realising the past year had been a “blur”.The addiction saw her spending up to £1,000 a week on cocaine and refusing to honour work commitments because of affects of coming down off the drugs.”I was quite difficult at the time so I sort of pushed all the people that cared about me away and shut myself off from them” she confessed.However, meeting boyfriend Sisqo was the turning point in her life and he has even written and produced tracks for her new album. But it took a lot of therapy and counselling to wean her off drugs.”It took a while and it was very hard. It took a year-and-a-half to two years of hardship and ups and downs of me deciding I wanted my life to change and having help from other people.She added: “I’m not doing this for a sympathy vote or publicity I just want to get it out there and move on with my life.”

If you want to see what this cokehead looks like

Go HERE
Go HERE
and
Go HERE

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