Is Spring Break still happening? Everyday is Spring Break for me, I mean without the wet t-shirt contest, but with the wet boxer contest that I’m usually the only contestant in…. The high light of the day was that I applied to be Charlie Sheen’s intern. I’m pretty sure I won’t get it cuz I […]

I haven’t fucked a girl from the internet since I used to write offensive shit on local forums in the late 90s. I always hated the awkwardness of meeting these socially awkward pigs, but I do know that since then, hot pussy has hit the internet, but I’ve been married and I don’t like paper […]

I wasn’t going to do these because I am hard drinking to die before 2010 or at least start 2010 very fucking hungover but I figured you losers at home alone because you have no friends, your family hates you, you know the shit suicide is made of, so you’re welcome for making your life […]