Here’s a clip o Mary Kate Olsen on the show Weeds telling some dude that she can see his boner and it reminds me of a time when I used to get boners. I have really only been unable to get it up for a couple of years now and I do get the random semi every once in a while but maybe I am just desensitized or something and looking at my fat wife naked is enough for anyone’s brain to go into defense mode so that I don’t ever make the mistake of fucking her.
There was a time when I was a teenager when drinking a couple of beers would get me hard. If I smoked a joint I’d get hard. If I took the bus to school I’d get hard. If I watched girls in bikinis I’d get hard. If I saw a girl in short I’d get hard. If I held hand with a girl I’d get hard. If I saw porn I’d get hard. When I went to the strip club I’d get hard just being there. If my friend’s mom was doing the dishes I’d get hard. If my English Teacher was writing on the board I’d get hard. Watching the girls in my calls play volleyball would get me hard. If I was alone with a chick for more than a minute I’d get hard. It was a constant erection that was tucked behind my belt. Luckily, my dick has always been so small that I never got busted or outed by anyone for having wood. I could do a class presentation in a pair of sweat pants rocking full bone and no one would fucking notice…that wasn’t such a good thing later in life when all I could offer girls was bad sex they didn’t feel, but it was a blessing when I was 15.