Beyonce’s been too busy competing with Rihanna to take care of the little things in life like hygeiene. When looking at the neglect she’s given to her pits, I am reminded of this hairy little troll of a girl I used to bang. It didn’t end well, but for the week that we dated, I did everything I could to get her to just shave her fucking armpits. I used to tease her and tell her that Richard Nixon’s not in fucking office, we’re not protesting a war and trying our best to be as liberated as we can by having unprotected sex with strangers, but we shoudl be, so the only excuse for this hippie bullshit is laziness. I even brought her a razor on our third date and that’s pretty much when the dating ended, I guess I wasn’t so discreet about my disgust, but trying to find her vagina hole was like a fucking South American safari adventure through the fuckin’ Amazon, only instead of dealing with getting attacked by deadly snakes and tribes peopel, I was forced to deal with a hairy mess with a rancid smell of dead fish, and really wasn’t surprised considering the condition of her arm pits.
That said, a girls arm pit condition is the window to her vagina maintenence and Beyonce’s pussy is obviously the real reason Jay-Z’s moved onto Rihanna.
With along with being crazy and being busy as a tool to make lots of people rich, Britney Spears is also lazy. These are some pictures of her with some hairy fucking armpits and despite being down with hairy pussy, there’s something seriously disgusting about a girl who doesn’t shave her armpits. I get it, you’re trying to make a political point that women and men are equal and that women don’t have to give-in to the man’s formalities, but I am sure there’s a less masculine way of going about that. Maybe you could get an education and figure out a way to get a job in places where people will listen to you, you don’t have to grow a dick or pull other stunts that make you disgusting to all ment to get that shit across, I am not implying that Britney’s got any reason deeper than being a pig for these pictures to exist, I am not saying she’s making a statement other than that she can’t focus on more than one thing, so in deciding what to drop in order to get her life and career back together she chose hygiene practices because she’s always found hygiene a fucking struggle.
I know that some dudes like a hairy bitch. I read “The Joy of Sex” when I was 12 and I think there’s a whole chapter on how body hair is erotic because it keeps the smells in and lets us tap into our animal instinct, but that book was also written by a bunch of hippies and the positive outlook on life and the drugs obviously got the better of them because this shit is never erotic. The first time I realized a woman close to me had hairy armpits was when I was teenager and staying in some foster home. The woman who took me in was in her 60s, she was also 4 foot 6 and drove a car with a wooden block on the pedals and a pillow on the seat and one hot summer day she was giving me a lift somewhere in that piece of shit car and I looked over to as a question and saw her fucking hairy armpits that put most people I knew’s armpits to shame because it was a fucking matted mangled mess of more hair than I had ever seen in such a small area and to make shit worse…sweat was slowly dripping out of it and onto her summer dress and I gagged. Pretty much ruining chicks with hairy armpits for me….
Sure Britney’s armpits aren’t that out of control, but they are out of control enough to be disgusting and I guess the real question is that if this is what’s going on in places the world can see, I don’t really want to know what’s going on in her pants, because I am sure the dried mucus matted pussy hair’s only the gateway to a magical place of disgusting that I still wouldn’t mind taste testing.
My weird Greek friend who likes pit fucking emailed me to tell me that he wouldn’t be down to fuck this pit, and being a pit fucker kinda gives him limited options of pits to fuck, because it turns most girls off and he takes almost any pit he can get.
Here are some pictures of some slut you’ve all jerked off to rockin’ some hairy fucking armpits. I don’t understand what these pics are from or if it’s some kind of joke, but I don’t find it funny because I fucking hate hairy armpits on chicks and I remember the first time I ever saw a hairy armpit on a chick, it was when I was a kid of maybe 9 years old. She was a 65 year old midget who rolled her own cigarettes and for some reason picked me up after school for a few months. She had blocks of wood on her car’s gas and brake pedals and a phonebook on her seat. I am not even making this shit up. It was during the beginning of summer when she decided to wear some kind of tank top shit and I looked over at her and she smiled at me and I saw the fuckin armpit hair and gagged. She probably hadn’t shaved in decades and the shit was thicker than my wife’s labia and wet from sweat and I just lost it and threw the fuck up.
Since then, I’ve met lesbians and hippies and feminists and environmentalists and people who don’t wear shoes and shit like that and whenever I see a bitch rockin’ armpit hair I think of my hairy midget and freak the fuck out and whenever the chick is hot or has some kind of potential of being hot and I see that shit it ruins her. It’s like this time I was with this really hot chick with these legs that never ended and as I worked my way up to her box and moved her underwear aside, I saw testicles and had to PEACE THE FUCK OUT. Ok that never happened, but it could have happened and if it did I am sure armpit hair would be the least of my worries….but you get the fuckin’ point that Danielle Lloyd may have been some kind of slut sex symbol from the UK because she was Miss England, but this armpit hair move is obviously some kind of obscure self-destructive behavior because it pretty much takes everything she worked for and throws it all down the toilet and all it took was a couple weeks to grow that shit out. I guess it’s not as bad for you as dying of a drug overdose.