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Archive for the Carmen Electra Category

2010

09

Jun

NewNowNext Event Brought Out The Old of the Day

NewNowNext Event makes me laugh because with a name like that you’d expect the shit to generate some interest for up and coming stars, not bitches I used to jerk off to in the 90s. Seriously, what the fuck happened to Carmen Electra. I remember thinking she really had it going on, but then one day she disappeared and I guess me and everyone else forgot about her, until now…because I guess she’s planning on making a comeback, I mean why else would she be at the NewNextNow event, but in all liklihood, maybe they had free food, something her lack of work bank account appreciates…

Here’s Perez Hilton, another soon to be has-been who was at the event begging for attention…cuz I don’t know anyone who bothers with his site now that there’s TMZ and RadarOnline…but when the motherfucker is dressed like this…I don’t mind posting it…cuz it’s too weird, trying too hard, too lame to be ignored…seriously – what the fuck is this…what a fucking joke. More people need to punch him.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Carmen Electra

2009

30

Nov

Carmen Electra’s Sex Tape was an AD of the Dat

So there was a Carmen Electra sex tape that hit a few weeks ago. It was pretty clear the shit was a publicity stunt, it just wasn’t obvious what the shit was a publicity stunt for. You know she was a Playboy whore who showed her naked pussy to establish a career, so it was only natural for her to whore herself as her career slowly comes to an end. Unfortunately, it was just a viral ad for the internet to generate some buzz for some fashion designer, and not a publicity stunt to get her a reality show or her own line of perfume like she was Paris Hilton, so there’s no pussy penetration, just some strategically shot bullshit to look like it’s more relevant than it actually is.

Posted in:Carmen Electra|Sex Tape

2009

18

Nov

Carmen Electra Sex Tape Preview of the Day

This seems about right, I haven’t heard shit about Carmen Electra in at leaast a year and now home made sex tapes with her making out with chicks in her underwear hit the internet. It’s a formula all the whores are doing and Carmen Electra is one of the original piece of trash in Hollywood to get famous from her fake tits, so it was either do Dancing with the Stars or this, and since Dancing with the Stars doenst allow her to be naked sucking dick on camera which is all she really knows, she opted for this and I’m not complaining, just wish it happened a few decades ago instead of now, but a few decades ago the desperation just wasn’t there, since people still cared about her….

Posted in:Carmen Electra|Lesbianism|Sex Tape

2009

25

Aug

Carmen Electra is Fat in Her Bikini of the Day

I think it’s time for Carmen Electra to throw that stipperobics DVD she hosted back in and start practicing what she learned cuz she’s lookin’ fat. Maybe she’s getting ready for a role as a fat chick, but I don’t think Carmen Electra ever got work for any reason other than her hot body….

I guess it is normal that with age comes sagging and weight gain and as much as I liked Carmen Electra and her fake tits, that Iam sure she’s glad she has now that her body has started to turn thick and rectangular, and they keep things a little top heavy and curvy like some kind of optical illusion, like most post-menopausal women and that I am sure she was glad she had when she was younger because they are a hug part of her fucking career, but that I am not glad she has because I hate fake tits, not that my opinion really matters to this whore, so I don’t know why I’m bothering writing it out, I should just say appreciate this bitch while you can, because like a roller coaster ride, the fun always comes to an end and I have a feeling these pics are the last fuckin’ stretch and I’m just amazed that with a body like this, she hasn’t had a few kids fuck her shit up, instead she only has her and her laziness to blame….

Posted in:Carmen Electra|Fat

2009

14

Jul

Carmen Electra, Kim Kardashian and Pam Anderson Doing Some Burlesque Shit….of the Day

This video is annoying but you can see Carmen Electra in a thong, or Kim Kardashian dressed like a slutty sailor. I think the whole pinup burlesque shit is designed for fat, ugly girls who can’t make it as real models, but Carmen Electra is still hot even though she’s old. Kim Kardashian not so much…

Posted in:Burlesque|Carmen Electra|Kim Kardashian|Pam Anderson

2009

20

Apr

Some Coachella Bullshit and a Happy Birthday to Carmen Electra of the Day

So it was Coachella this past weekend. Coachella is some bullshit music festival in the middle of the desert, where idiot hipsters, music snobs, followers, celebrities, the media and pretty much everyone make a point of going to. I don’t like music festivals because if I wanted to rub up against a lot of dirty, unshowered assholes, I’d just hit up the homeless shelter or wherever else unshowered people hang out. Music festivals are places I don’t belong. I hate crowds and I hate idiots and if I need to listen to music, I’ll just turn on the fuckin’ radio.

So doing what any media giant like myself would do, I google searched Coachella and came across this garbage party footage that has 1 view.

In it Carmen Electra says her birthday is today. So happy birthday goes out to her you know since all these years she’s given us the gift that is her tits.

Here’s another video called “Celebrities at Coachella” that I didn’t watch…

Posted in:Carmen Electra|celebrities|Coachella

2009

27

Feb

Carmen Electra and Lenny from Motorhead Together of the Day

I met a make-up artist on Twitter since it’s my new hang out . I pretty much use it to respond to random famous people and make stupid comments about the shit they write and the whole thing is pretty funny to me, but like everywhere else in my life, I get ignored and I can’t get as many followers as even the most useless pornstar, but I guess none of that matters.

What does matter is that this make-up artist told me that Carmen Electra is a natural beauty and by lookin’ at her tits, I think it’s safe to say the only natural there is the fact that I want to cum all over them. She’s older and has seen more and more cock as the years go on, but she still looks good to me and by me I mean Lenny from Motorhead, but let’s face it, his sexual catalog of pussy he’s fucked, is trashy old strippers from small towns with shitty tit jobs and a deep love for the song “Ace of Spades” because it has been a huge part of their livelihood and life all these years and just having the opportunity to meet him will let them die happy if for whatever reason they go home with a bad john, take bad drugs, or hang themselves from the shower curtains because their lives fucking suck.

That said, here’s some Carmen.

Here’s some Lenny from Motorhead singing Ace of Spades for the whores out there…

***UPDATE***UPDATE***UPDATE***UPDATE****UPDATE***

I didn’t check my email today – because I am lazy – but my good internet friend over at Antiquiet sent it these pictures that he took at the Chelsea Girls show all this went down at…..

Posted in:Carmen Electra|cleavage|Tits

2008

19

Dec

Ellen Degeneres and Carmen Electra Erotic Dance of the Day

Christmas came early for Hollywood’s favorite Lesbian when Carmen Electra showed up and did a little slutty stripper dance that we all know she’s very familiar with because she’s pretty much Hollywood’s version of a slutty stripper that ended with an ass slap that I think that it was a little too much for Lesbian Ellen to handle because by the looks of it, I think she came and had to change those Lesbian pants for the next segment but no one could tell because all her Lesbian pants are the same.

Also on the show today was slutty Anna Faris showing her legs and giving Ellen a pair of tacky tranny Christmas Shoes…that she goes onto model for us….something no pant wearing lesbian should ever do…

And to close out the show The Pussycat Dolls were there to keep shit wholesome….

BONUS – She’s Doing a TV Giveaway for Christmas and after luring Carmen and Ana Faris into Clooney’s Office to Take Smutty Pics (can’t find video of that), they roll out a TV to give to her audience and shit falls and I laughed…

And She Reveals the Costumed Whore Dressed Like a Hot Soothing Drink and It’s Paris Hilton….what she gives lasts more than just 12 days of Christmas…..

Now I’ve officially posted an entire episode of Ellen and I feel like I’ve paid back my lesbian brethren.

Posted in:Carmen Electra|Ellen Degeneres

2008

15

Dec

Carmen Electra Deals Poker for Playboy of the Day

Carmen Electra was out dressed like a Playboy Bunny dealer at some Vegas Playboy Casino because I guess she’s trying to promote her new spread. I can only assume it was part of the deal she made with Hef when she was on her knees begging that she needed this recognition to feel like she hasn’t got too old to be worth fucking. I am sure 98% of straight men could have given her that boost of confidence she needed because she’s still got it going on, but unfortunately Carmen Electra thinks she’s too good to get with 98% of men and has probably already go through the 2% she does think deserve alone time with her pussy.

I was invited to a poker night tonight, I don’t know how to play, but figure getting in a room with a bunch of men, talking about fucking, smoking cigars, gambling and eating Pizza can be fun…as long as it’s strip poker and the bunch of men are actually a bunch of whores and instead of stripping, they have to get fucked, finger banged or suck my dick when they lose a hand, but only if the buy in is less than 10 dollars because that’s all I can afford.

Posted in:Carmen Electra|Playboy Bunny|Poker

2008

11

Dec

Carmen Electra Does Playboy Again of the Day

I get asked randomly by the one person who cares, who I find hot in Hollywood because I pretty much rip all of these sluts apart like a bitter loser who can’t get the hot popular girl in school, so instead plot to school shoot the fucking place up and teach them that I exist. The truth is, I don’t really find any celebrities hot. I don’t think regular, everyday girls should compare themselves to these whores, because all I see is fake, insecure, fabricated, superficial, shallow, empty sell outs who are only famous because they weren’t loved enough in their youth and because they weren’t the pretty girl in the class or the favorite of their daddy, and that’s normally a turn on, but not when they get to this level of fame and everyone sucks their dick, clouding their judgement, making them believe they are more important than they actually are…..

That said, I’d probably fuck them all, but then again I don’t really have standards, and I never turn down pussy, but Carmen Electra’s always been one of my favorites, she’s got sex appeal and 15 years after first hitting, still has sex appeal and turns out she’s doing Playboy January 2009, sure we’ve all seen it before, but I’m always down to see more.

You liked that poem, admit it, homo.

Posted in:Carmen Electra|Playboy

2008

11

Jun

Throwback Carmen Elecrta Nude in Some Photoshoot of the Day

I am tired of posting recent shit becaue the world has gone to shit and I am more interested in a simplier time, so this is Carmen Electra in some unknown photoshoot from a long time ago, spreading her legs and showing us her tits, both things that we’ve seen before and are happy to see again.

I guess you could say that she is nothing but a one-trick pony, except she will never turn tricks for you or ride you like a pony, you sick beastiality fuck, despite what your imagination that you believe is reality because you are insane and don’t get away from the computer might tell you.

On a happier note, the sheet she has between her legs gets a lot more pussy than you, but not a lot more pussy than the soiled piece of fabric I use as a sheet, but that’s got nothing to do with my skills in seducing ladies and more to do with my wife’s skill of having the biggest, stickiest vagina out of any girl I’ve met and manages to get that sheet up between the crevaces of her lips on the daily.

Eithery way, I heard this sheet for is available on e-bay and that may be the closest you ever get to her vagina, or any vagina at all so you should considering busting open that piggy bank and spending your vacation fund on it, but it may not be worth it considering how Comicon has always been a dream of yours.

Speaking of vaginas, i have a box of rubber ones sitting in my fridge that i found in some alley behind a sex shop that went bankrupt. I don’t really know what I was doing there or if the whole thing was a mirage (because the only water i drink is out of puddles) and but there is a box rubber vaginas sitting in my fridge because I like to keep the fresh and since i already adopted one because my wife’s is dead and I like to practice eating out pussy, the others are looking for love and homes too, so I am planning on giving them away with no guarantee that they have never been used and that they won’t give you aids, a guarantee that also comes with Carmen Electra’s pussy.

Posted in:Carmen Electra|Nude|Photoshoot

2007

26

Oct

I am – Carmen Electra’s Big Old Tits of the Day

carmen_electra_cleavage_tits_top.jpg

Carmen Electra still has fake tits and I may hate fake tits, but she looks good enough for me, probably better than any girl you’d bump into on the street and awkwardly follow for 16 blocks in hopes that they strike up conversation with you so that you can take her home and cum in her face.

I was talking to a dude earlier this week who was having problems with the girl he was slamming. She was scared of sucking dick, but never told him that she wasn’t into it, she would just do everything in her power to avoid sucking it. I’ve never known any girl who hasn’t sucked dick, because there’s no way she’d get past the initial interview for the job if I did, but I have heard that it’s pretty fucking common and that sucks but not literally. The closest I’ve had to a girl who hates sucking dick is a girl who goes down on you for a minute then lets you fuck her and feels like she’s done her part because there was penis contact with her mouth. I guess busting nut is the goal of hanging out and the fact that she’s giving up her vagina is a good enough reason to keep her around, but the best way around it if you’re stuck with a girl who doesn’t want dick in her mouth is to force her to do it, and while you are forcing her explain that you’re just helping her be a better person, I am sure she’ll understand while she’s trying to push you off to get the fuck out of there to call the cops.

Either way, I am sure Carmen Electra sucks dick.


Related Posts:

Carmen Electra and Her Bikini
Carmen Electra’s is a Hot Walking
Carmen Electra Shops for Lingerie
Carmen Electra Hang Out With Homeless People

Posted in:Carmen Electra|cleavage|old|Tits|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

26

Oct

I am – Carmen Electra's Big Old Tits of the Day

carmen_electra_cleavage_tits_top.jpg

Carmen Electra still has fake tits and I may hate fake tits, but she looks good enough for me, probably better than any girl you’d bump into on the street and awkwardly follow for 16 blocks in hopes that they strike up conversation with you so that you can take her home and cum in her face.

I was talking to a dude earlier this week who was having problems with the girl he was slamming. She was scared of sucking dick, but never told him that she wasn’t into it, she would just do everything in her power to avoid sucking it. I’ve never known any girl who hasn’t sucked dick, because there’s no way she’d get past the initial interview for the job if I did, but I have heard that it’s pretty fucking common and that sucks but not literally. The closest I’ve had to a girl who hates sucking dick is a girl who goes down on you for a minute then lets you fuck her and feels like she’s done her part because there was penis contact with her mouth. I guess busting nut is the goal of hanging out and the fact that she’s giving up her vagina is a good enough reason to keep her around, but the best way around it if you’re stuck with a girl who doesn’t want dick in her mouth is to force her to do it, and while you are forcing her explain that you’re just helping her be a better person, I am sure she’ll understand while she’s trying to push you off to get the fuck out of there to call the cops.

Either way, I am sure Carmen Electra sucks dick.


Related Posts:

Carmen Electra and Her Bikini
Carmen Electra’s is a Hot Walking
Carmen Electra Shops for Lingerie
Carmen Electra Hang Out With Homeless People

Posted in:Carmen Electra|cleavage|old|Tits|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

14

Aug

I am – Carmen Electra in Her Panties of the Day

carmen_electra_panties6.jpg

These are supposed to be pictures of Carmen Electra on the balcony in Malibu wearing a T-shirt and a pair of panties. I don’t know if that’s 100 percent true because I am not there to sniff them out. It could very likely be a bathing suit, but I guess who really cares….

The other day I was chatting with some girl on IM because I do that when I am bored and too lazy to venture out into the real world. She told me that she was trying to sell a pair of shoes on ebay because she wanted money to get her tits done. I told her that if she really wanted to make money she should consider selling her used underwear on the internet. I once knew a guy who used to hustle that shit and made a killing. He was a bit of a con artist and would make his girlfriend wipe herself after pissing with a pair of new underwear and he’d use a glue stick to make it look like their was crusty discharge in them. I wanted to get up on his entrepreneurial venture and do the same thing, but at the time I couldn’t convince any of the girls I knew to wear a pair of underwear for a week. Not because they were hygienic but because they didn’t wear underwear because they got in the way of letting dudes fuck them in back alleys.

It was basically the same as how the Japanese streamlined automotive manufacturing by making robots to the job of 10 men. Underwear just got in the way and was one extra step to how they made their money so they wouldn’t go back to that old school way of doing business.

I don’t know if my story made sense to you, but it doesn’t really matter because you can kinda see Carmen Electra’s pussy definition and that’s more interesting than anything I have to say but then again, so are most things…


Related Posts:

Carmen Electra Bikini Pictures
Carmen Electra Shops for Lingerie
Carmen Electra’s Lycra Pants
Carmen Electra’s Itchy Cooch

Posted in:Carmen Electra|Hot|Nipples|Panties|Unsorted

2007

13

Aug

I am – Carmen Electra Bikini Pictures of the Day

carmen_electra_bikini_top.jpg

I don’t know how she does it, but she’s been tight bodied and worth fucking for pretty much all my life it seems. I think she hit in the mid-90s and has consistently brought her tits out with her since then and she’s still worth fucking and that’s some kind of miracle. Most of the hot chicks I knew in the 90s got married, let themselves go and are fat and boring with kids now. It’s like Carmen Electra has defied all the odds she had up against her and should be acknowledged for that shit because based on these pictures, she’s still got it going on and hardly looks 40 or however old she is. I guess all you ex-hot chicks who read this site and let themselves go after their first kid are trying to justify it by saying her tits are her job or the only way she makes her money or whatever and if she was at home taking care of her household she wouldn’t be as good as she is, but I think that’s just your jealousy speaking because I am convinced she is hotter than most 20 year old college coeds who let the football team gangbang them and that’s saying a lot.

I was bored last night because being back home means listening to my wife talk, so I locked myself in the bathroom with my computer and filled out the personality test on one of those online dating sites. I was going through the questions as honestly as possible and I was doing it partially out of curiosity and partially out of planning for my future after the wife has her massive heart attack for being too fat to put on her own shoes….Either way after answering all the questions, I looked for personality matches on their network of millions and I got no matches. Not one bitch on this site is even a partial match to me. I guess the site was either telling me to give up trying and that I will die alone or that I have a flawed personality, I guess the good news is that these pictures of Carmen Electra can’t say no to my flawed personality. Cuddles.


Related Posts:
Carmen Electra Doing Hot Stretches
Carmen Electra’s Nipples are Hard
Carmen Electra Helps the Homeless
Carmen Electra is Hot and Walking

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Carmen Electra|Tits|Unsorted|Wet