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Archive for the Carmen Electra Category

2008

11

Dec

Carmen Electra Does Playboy Again of the Day

I get asked randomly by the one person who cares, who I find hot in Hollywood because I pretty much rip all of these sluts apart like a bitter loser who can’t get the hot popular girl in school, so instead plot to school shoot the fucking place up and teach them that I exist. The truth is, I don’t really find any celebrities hot. I don’t think regular, everyday girls should compare themselves to these whores, because all I see is fake, insecure, fabricated, superficial, shallow, empty sell outs who are only famous because they weren’t loved enough in their youth and because they weren’t the pretty girl in the class or the favorite of their daddy, and that’s normally a turn on, but not when they get to this level of fame and everyone sucks their dick, clouding their judgement, making them believe they are more important than they actually are…..

That said, I’d probably fuck them all, but then again I don’t really have standards, and I never turn down pussy, but Carmen Electra’s always been one of my favorites, she’s got sex appeal and 15 years after first hitting, still has sex appeal and turns out she’s doing Playboy January 2009, sure we’ve all seen it before, but I’m always down to see more.

You liked that poem, admit it, homo.

Posted in:Carmen Electra|Playboy

2008

11

Jun

Throwback Carmen Elecrta Nude in Some Photoshoot of the Day

I am tired of posting recent shit becaue the world has gone to shit and I am more interested in a simplier time, so this is Carmen Electra in some unknown photoshoot from a long time ago, spreading her legs and showing us her tits, both things that we’ve seen before and are happy to see again.

I guess you could say that she is nothing but a one-trick pony, except she will never turn tricks for you or ride you like a pony, you sick beastiality fuck, despite what your imagination that you believe is reality because you are insane and don’t get away from the computer might tell you.

On a happier note, the sheet she has between her legs gets a lot more pussy than you, but not a lot more pussy than the soiled piece of fabric I use as a sheet, but that’s got nothing to do with my skills in seducing ladies and more to do with my wife’s skill of having the biggest, stickiest vagina out of any girl I’ve met and manages to get that sheet up between the crevaces of her lips on the daily.

Eithery way, I heard this sheet for is available on e-bay and that may be the closest you ever get to her vagina, or any vagina at all so you should considering busting open that piggy bank and spending your vacation fund on it, but it may not be worth it considering how Comicon has always been a dream of yours.

Speaking of vaginas, i have a box of rubber ones sitting in my fridge that i found in some alley behind a sex shop that went bankrupt. I don’t really know what I was doing there or if the whole thing was a mirage (because the only water i drink is out of puddles) and but there is a box rubber vaginas sitting in my fridge because I like to keep the fresh and since i already adopted one because my wife’s is dead and I like to practice eating out pussy, the others are looking for love and homes too, so I am planning on giving them away with no guarantee that they have never been used and that they won’t give you aids, a guarantee that also comes with Carmen Electra’s pussy.

Posted in:Carmen Electra|Nude|Photoshoot

2007

26

Oct

I am – Carmen Electra's Big Old Tits of the Day

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Carmen Electra still has fake tits and I may hate fake tits, but she looks good enough for me, probably better than any girl you’d bump into on the street and awkwardly follow for 16 blocks in hopes that they strike up conversation with you so that you can take her home and cum in her face.

I was talking to a dude earlier this week who was having problems with the girl he was slamming. She was scared of sucking dick, but never told him that she wasn’t into it, she would just do everything in her power to avoid sucking it. I’ve never known any girl who hasn’t sucked dick, because there’s no way she’d get past the initial interview for the job if I did, but I have heard that it’s pretty fucking common and that sucks but not literally. The closest I’ve had to a girl who hates sucking dick is a girl who goes down on you for a minute then lets you fuck her and feels like she’s done her part because there was penis contact with her mouth. I guess busting nut is the goal of hanging out and the fact that she’s giving up her vagina is a good enough reason to keep her around, but the best way around it if you’re stuck with a girl who doesn’t want dick in her mouth is to force her to do it, and while you are forcing her explain that you’re just helping her be a better person, I am sure she’ll understand while she’s trying to push you off to get the fuck out of there to call the cops.

Either way, I am sure Carmen Electra sucks dick.


Related Posts:

Carmen Electra and Her Bikini
Carmen Electra’s is a Hot Walking
Carmen Electra Shops for Lingerie
Carmen Electra Hang Out With Homeless People

Posted in:Carmen Electra|cleavage|old|Tits|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

26

Oct

I am – Carmen Electra’s Big Old Tits of the Day

carmen_electra_cleavage_tits_top.jpg

Carmen Electra still has fake tits and I may hate fake tits, but she looks good enough for me, probably better than any girl you’d bump into on the street and awkwardly follow for 16 blocks in hopes that they strike up conversation with you so that you can take her home and cum in her face.

I was talking to a dude earlier this week who was having problems with the girl he was slamming. She was scared of sucking dick, but never told him that she wasn’t into it, she would just do everything in her power to avoid sucking it. I’ve never known any girl who hasn’t sucked dick, because there’s no way she’d get past the initial interview for the job if I did, but I have heard that it’s pretty fucking common and that sucks but not literally. The closest I’ve had to a girl who hates sucking dick is a girl who goes down on you for a minute then lets you fuck her and feels like she’s done her part because there was penis contact with her mouth. I guess busting nut is the goal of hanging out and the fact that she’s giving up her vagina is a good enough reason to keep her around, but the best way around it if you’re stuck with a girl who doesn’t want dick in her mouth is to force her to do it, and while you are forcing her explain that you’re just helping her be a better person, I am sure she’ll understand while she’s trying to push you off to get the fuck out of there to call the cops.

Either way, I am sure Carmen Electra sucks dick.


Related Posts:

Carmen Electra and Her Bikini
Carmen Electra’s is a Hot Walking
Carmen Electra Shops for Lingerie
Carmen Electra Hang Out With Homeless People

Posted in:Carmen Electra|cleavage|old|Tits|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

14

Aug

I am – Carmen Electra in Her Panties of the Day

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These are supposed to be pictures of Carmen Electra on the balcony in Malibu wearing a T-shirt and a pair of panties. I don’t know if that’s 100 percent true because I am not there to sniff them out. It could very likely be a bathing suit, but I guess who really cares….

The other day I was chatting with some girl on IM because I do that when I am bored and too lazy to venture out into the real world. She told me that she was trying to sell a pair of shoes on ebay because she wanted money to get her tits done. I told her that if she really wanted to make money she should consider selling her used underwear on the internet. I once knew a guy who used to hustle that shit and made a killing. He was a bit of a con artist and would make his girlfriend wipe herself after pissing with a pair of new underwear and he’d use a glue stick to make it look like their was crusty discharge in them. I wanted to get up on his entrepreneurial venture and do the same thing, but at the time I couldn’t convince any of the girls I knew to wear a pair of underwear for a week. Not because they were hygienic but because they didn’t wear underwear because they got in the way of letting dudes fuck them in back alleys.

It was basically the same as how the Japanese streamlined automotive manufacturing by making robots to the job of 10 men. Underwear just got in the way and was one extra step to how they made their money so they wouldn’t go back to that old school way of doing business.

I don’t know if my story made sense to you, but it doesn’t really matter because you can kinda see Carmen Electra’s pussy definition and that’s more interesting than anything I have to say but then again, so are most things…


Related Posts:

Carmen Electra Bikini Pictures
Carmen Electra Shops for Lingerie
Carmen Electra’s Lycra Pants
Carmen Electra’s Itchy Cooch

Posted in:Carmen Electra|Hot|Nipples|Panties|Unsorted

2007

13

Aug

I am – Carmen Electra Bikini Pictures of the Day

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I don’t know how she does it, but she’s been tight bodied and worth fucking for pretty much all my life it seems. I think she hit in the mid-90s and has consistently brought her tits out with her since then and she’s still worth fucking and that’s some kind of miracle. Most of the hot chicks I knew in the 90s got married, let themselves go and are fat and boring with kids now. It’s like Carmen Electra has defied all the odds she had up against her and should be acknowledged for that shit because based on these pictures, she’s still got it going on and hardly looks 40 or however old she is. I guess all you ex-hot chicks who read this site and let themselves go after their first kid are trying to justify it by saying her tits are her job or the only way she makes her money or whatever and if she was at home taking care of her household she wouldn’t be as good as she is, but I think that’s just your jealousy speaking because I am convinced she is hotter than most 20 year old college coeds who let the football team gangbang them and that’s saying a lot.

I was bored last night because being back home means listening to my wife talk, so I locked myself in the bathroom with my computer and filled out the personality test on one of those online dating sites. I was going through the questions as honestly as possible and I was doing it partially out of curiosity and partially out of planning for my future after the wife has her massive heart attack for being too fat to put on her own shoes….Either way after answering all the questions, I looked for personality matches on their network of millions and I got no matches. Not one bitch on this site is even a partial match to me. I guess the site was either telling me to give up trying and that I will die alone or that I have a flawed personality, I guess the good news is that these pictures of Carmen Electra can’t say no to my flawed personality. Cuddles.


Related Posts:
Carmen Electra Doing Hot Stretches
Carmen Electra’s Nipples are Hard
Carmen Electra Helps the Homeless
Carmen Electra is Hot and Walking

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Carmen Electra|Tits|Unsorted|Wet

2007

17

Jul

I am – Carmen Electra Being Hot and Walking of the Day

Carmen Electra

Remember when that rumor was going around that Carmen Electra and Joan Jett were having some sort of torrid lesbian love affair? Guys around America were rejoicing and jerking off in unison over just thinking about them together, even though they forget the fact that one more lesbian is one less women they will get to sleep with.
There was all these senior class girls at my school last year going around telling everyone they were lesbians and blah blah blah, even though they would never fuck another chick unless there was some Jock asshole present. I won’t put a number on it, but I am more then convinced that a fair portion of young lesbian and bi-sexual girls out there only do so when there is cameras and guys around because they know it turns guys on, and makes them think guys will like them instead of just fuck them and move on to the next girl. Don’t get me wrong, I know a fair amount of gay girls, and these girls are gayer then gay.

I knew this “gay” girl named Andi a few years back who was a real out-type gay person and always talking about how she was soooo gay, and how she was scared of dick and it was so gross etc, generally just stopping sort of wearing a shirt that said HEY EVERYBODY I’M A BIG LESBO. She was super hott and one of those chicks guys always complained was a waste cause she was gay (which, guys, is total bullshit, asshole attitude, btw).

Anyways, Andi ended up moving to another city, and low and behold not only did I find out that Andi liked to fuck guys, but fucked half my roster of male friends in the short period she lived in the city. For a girl who claimed to hate cock so much, she sure fukking swallowed a lot of it. The funniest part is the way she played all those losers and made them think they were special and the only guy she had ever fucked and it was some special moment between a lesbian and a straight guy or something. Guys will believe anything, so long as it will get them laid. Sorry.


Related Posts
I am – Carmen Electra Shops for Lingerie of the Day
GO

I am – Carmen Electra Hangs With Homeless People of the Day
GO

I am – Carmen Electra’s Nipples of the Day
GO

Posted in:Carmen Electra|Unsorted

2007

22

Jun

I am – Jenny McCarthy and Carmen Electra Hang Out Together of the Day

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I remember when these two bitches were considered the hottest thing Playboy and MTV ever did. It was the 90s and I am surprised I remember much from that era. I am happy to see that they are still friends because I am pretty sure back then they both hated the fuck out of each other. I am sure many plastic surgeons were bidding on their business by playing their tits up against each other, but in their old haggard age all that is behind them. Seeing these two sluts together reminds us all that there can be unity in this mean world, all you have to do is get older and realize that both your careers were created because of your fake tits and that anyone with 5,000 dollars could be you, so now that younger and hotter girls are taking over the seen, maybe it’s time to put your differences aside and compare what happens to fake tits as you age.

Posted in:Carmen Electra|Jenny McCarthy|Unsorted

2007

02

Apr

I am – Carmen Electra Shops for Lingerie of the Day

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The reason you don’t realize how hot these pictures are is because all you see is Carmen Electra dressed like a Mini Van driving mom that is shopping for school lunch supplies for her 3 annoying kids at the local grocery store. What I see is an Agent Provocateur bag and if I wasn’t so lazy, I’d probably be visualizing all the sexy shit that could be in that bag that she will be wearing for her lesbian girlfriend. It’s one of those it’s sexier to leave things to the imagination than to put it all out there situations, even though we all know that’s just something girls like to think, because a spread eagle has always worked for me.

Posted in:Carmen Electra|Unsorted

2007

07

Mar

I am – Carmen Electra Hangs with Homeless People of the Day

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Here are some pics of Carmen Electra and a homeless lookin’ person that could be staged as a publicity stunt, only bitch looks more like she’s taking money from the motherfucker and not giving her money, but either way she poses with my kind of people. I remember the day I first realized that homeless people were cooler than corporate assholes on their way to work. They get fucking annoying with their bullshit excuses for why you should give them money, but the fact that they don’t work and generally have no identity just means early retirement to me. Sure they aren’t going on exciting golf holidays with their fellow retirees, but if they drink enough alcohol they lose their eyesight and when you can’t see you are pretty much anywhere you want to be without all the effort. They are the modern day lazy party slut without the budgets who realize the suburban dream is far less fun than the excitement of being on the street drunk for months or years upon months or years…. If I was that homeless person, I would have definitely tried to grab her ass or some shit, it’s like that Eminem song about having one chance to blow, and that homeless person just missed theirs….

Posted in:Carmen Electra|Unsorted