Remember when that rumor was going around that Carmen Electra and Joan Jett were having some sort of torrid lesbian love affair? Guys around America were rejoicing and jerking off in unison over just thinking about them together, even though they forget the fact that one more lesbian is one less women they will get to sleep with.
There was all these senior class girls at my school last year going around telling everyone they were lesbians and blah blah blah, even though they would never fuck another chick unless there was some Jock asshole present. I won’t put a number on it, but I am more then convinced that a fair portion of young lesbian and bi-sexual girls out there only do so when there is cameras and guys around because they know it turns guys on, and makes them think guys will like them instead of just fuck them and move on to the next girl. Don’t get me wrong, I know a fair amount of gay girls, and these girls are gayer then gay.

I knew this “gay” girl named Andi a few years back who was a real out-type gay person and always talking about how she was soooo gay, and how she was scared of dick and it was so gross etc, generally just stopping sort of wearing a shirt that said HEY EVERYBODY I’M A BIG LESBO. She was super hott and one of those chicks guys always complained was a waste cause she was gay (which, guys, is total bullshit, asshole attitude, btw).

Anyways, Andi ended up moving to another city, and low and behold not only did I find out that Andi liked to fuck guys, but fucked half my roster of male friends in the short period she lived in the city. For a girl who claimed to hate cock so much, she sure fukking swallowed a lot of it. The funniest part is the way she played all those losers and made them think they were special and the only guy she had ever fucked and it was some special moment between a lesbian and a straight guy or something. Guys will believe anything, so long as it will get them laid. Sorry.

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The reason you don’t realize how hot these pictures are is because all you see is Carmen Electra dressed like a Mini Van driving mom that is shopping for school lunch supplies for her 3 annoying kids at the local grocery store. What I see is an Agent Provocateur bag and if I wasn’t so lazy, I’d probably be visualizing all the sexy shit that could be in that bag that she will be wearing for her lesbian girlfriend. It’s one of those it’s sexier to leave things to the imagination than to put it all out there situations, even though we all know that’s just something girls like to think, because a spread eagle has always worked for me.

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Here are some pics of Carmen Electra and a homeless lookin’ person that could be staged as a publicity stunt, only bitch looks more like she’s taking money from the motherfucker and not giving her money, but either way she poses with my kind of people. I remember the day I first realized that homeless people were cooler than corporate assholes on their way to work. They get fucking annoying with their bullshit excuses for why you should give them money, but the fact that they don’t work and generally have no identity just means early retirement to me. Sure they aren’t going on exciting golf holidays with their fellow retirees, but if they drink enough alcohol they lose their eyesight and when you can’t see you are pretty much anywhere you want to be without all the effort. They are the modern day lazy party slut without the budgets who realize the suburban dream is far less fun than the excitement of being on the street drunk for months or years upon months or years…. If I was that homeless person, I would have definitely tried to grab her ass or some shit, it’s like that Eminem song about having one chance to blow, and that homeless person just missed theirs….

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