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Archive for the Jessica Simpson Category

2012

20

Dec

Jessica Simpson’s Weight Watchers Commercial of the Day

Jessica Simpson’s new commercial for Weight Watchers takes a new angle, you know instead of doing the Jennifer Hudson and actually losing weight, they’ve decided to promote her as losing 50 pounds, even though that was baby weight and 12 of those pounds were a kid and another 30 of those pounds was water retention…..because I guess they want to get their money’s worth as she’s trying her hardest to back peddle and get out of the contract…without having to pay them back…by getting knocked up….

This is what you call a rich person’s strategy to get motivated to lose weight, it’s like “If I buy that treadmill, I’ll use it”…only the endorsement worth millions of dollars version….but instead of leaving it in the corner of the basement to hang laundry off of…bitch has to get lawyers to find the loopholes to remain fat….

This strategy of “Hey Fat America, I’m Like You, But thanks to Weight Watchers, I’m in Control, but Still FAt”….making Weight Watchers come across as being a company that keeps you fat, but gives you a point system to gauge just how fat you are….I ate 400 points in cake yesterday…today I’ll eat 390….making fucking moves to a better life like I was Jessica Simpson…

Unless, this is all a joke, and Weight Watchers was like, let’s make Jessica Simpson into a viral video, since she mocked our agreement like a redneck hick mocking an interracial couple….all toothless and inbred…you know make a mockery of her for 2,000,000 dollars we can write off as an advertising expense….because revenge comes in all forms….

Posted in:Jessica Simpson

2012

28

Nov

Jessica Simpson Pregnancy Scam of the Day

Jessica Simpson is pregnant again…some would say it was because she’s a fertile cum loving pervert who needs cum inside her at all times…while the skeptics like me…would say that it is the best way out of her million dollar weight watchers contract….in a “you can’t call me fat I’m still pregnant – so I will not pay you those millions back” kinda way….but the real issue is why her Jesus loving Christian conservative, uneducated, walmart working fans haven’t written her off as a divorcee, hooker, heathen, harlot with babies out of wedlock slut….is it cuz those Christians are inconsistent and full of shit in their brain wash hustle….or is it that they are so forgiving….so many questions that all end in one very important place….her ridiculous bra size….

Posted in:Jessica Simpson

2012

31

Oct

Jessica Simpson’s Comeback Costume of the Day

I usually have no hope for fat slobs who get paid millions to lose weight by Weight Watchers….especially when they already have billions of dollars…but for some reason…Jessica Simpson hid her fatness proper this halloween….because I guess she’s on the right track to not be totally humiliated by her baby making eating disorder….seriously…look at them titties.

Posted in:Jessica Simpson

2012

02

Oct

Jessica Simpson Big Legs of the Day

Big wheels keep on turning….


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Posted in:Jessica Simpson

2012

11

Sep

Jessica Simpson is Hilarious and Fat for Weight Watchers of the Day

This is amazing, only because Jessica Simpson is semi-retarded and watching her talk bullshit about weight loss tha she is contractually paid to talk about, while not showing her body because there has been no weightloss, but instead just showing her fat face, telling us this program works…..even though she still looks like she’s fucking pregnant….even though her kid is pushing two….cuz some girls hormonally can’t say no to cake….fast food….donuts….fried chicken and whatever else she stuffs down her fat face….that if you remember was fat pre-gettting pregnant and that her pregnancy was just a cover to justify her impending diabetes….

As far as I’m concerned, she’s no spokesperson for health, fitness, or good eating….I am sure Weight Watchers has their fingers crossed that she steps up her game…otherwise she’ll be paying them back…not that she really cares…she has all the money in the world….failing at this won’t really do much damage to much more than her heart….

Point is, people eat badly, people don’t move enough, fat girls have big tits, I like big tits……


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Posted in:Jessica Simpson

2012

25

Jun

Jessica Simpson’s Huge Mom Tits for Twitter of the Day

When the pic is cropped proper…it is almost as if she doesn’t have 50-100 lbs of excess fat under those stupid tits…it is almost like her stupid tits are some golden, nourishing, lovely playground built on fantasies that I want to climb up to and get lost inside….you know with so much tit to fill my hands and mouth and possibly even suffocate on….like this was Charlie in the Chocolate Factory and I was the fat kid next to a river of chocolate….heaven….except you know when you zoom out…you’re dealing with a walmar body…belly out, ready for diabetes, heart disease and motorized scooters to takee her down the adult diaper aisles….I’ve seen her kind before….but those tits…on their own…are fucking awesome….and huge….

Posted in:Jessica Simpson

2012

13

Jun

Jessica Simpson’s Amazing Dumpy Fucking Ass of the Day

I don’t really know what is going on here…or whether I really want to know what is going on here…I’m gonna say that Jessica Simpson was a tank before getting pregnant, became offensively, even medically scary fat after pregnancy, then signed a deal with Weight Watchers to add pressure to herself so that she drops the weight….even though she’s been spotted going to the gym everyday for hours at a time….and still looks like this….but I guess she was a gamble that was worth taking, if she does drop the weight, it will likely be big news, and owning that impossible task, will likely make Weight Watchers a hell of a lot of money….so I get what they were doing there….I just don’t get why it is taking her this long, I am not sure it is even possible, but most importantly, why the fuck did she decide to wear these pants….

My fat wife loves elastic waist bands, she loves making all pants look like leggings, but I don’t like looking at it…it is offensive….it is the kind of behavior that gets her abused…

Let’s hope Jessica Simpson’s baby daddy who K-Fedded her holds the same heavy hand….apparently he doesn’t…..but reality is that she can do what she wants as long as she finances his shit….I get that…..but it doesn’t mean I support it when it ends up looking like this.


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Posted in:Jessica Simpson|Photos

2012

12

Mar

Pregnant Jessica Simpson is a Tank By the Pool of the Day

There are a few things in life I have very little interest in seeing…at least not for sexual purposes….because let’s face it, I don’t get shocked anymore and crave the day I see something that actually makes me gag, or sick to my stomach, or turned on, or really any fucking emotion…because I’m desensitized and the internet stole my soul…..but one of those things is Jessica Simpson, built like a fucking tank, in what may be a pregnant chick bikini top, beause she was obese to start with now she’s obese and pregnant, basically an excuse to fill up on a few extra plates at the breakfast buffet, I’d rather just google her archive of big tits on a small frame before she threw in the towel and became the plus sized garbage truck at the dump from the south that she is.


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Posted in:Jessica Simpson

2012

07

Mar

Jessica Simpson Nude and Pregnant for Elle of the Day

It’s funny cuz you know this pic of Jessica Simpson is heavily photoshopped to make her look not so heavy…..It’s like when you see a bitch in a bikini and she has abs that she never had before…you know to upset little girls, give them a complex and thus curve the obesity trend in the right direction, when keeping bitches nice and insecure about themselves….but the pregnant version….

I don’t know, pregnancy along with periods are the shitties part of being a girl, not sure why they’d want to strip it down and put it on display, like some kind of circus freak, you know elephant in captivity about to birth, but on the flipside, her milk filled tit looks great as she holds it up ready and equipped to feed a nation….it always goes back to the power of nudity making gross things so compelling to look at and masturbate to…..or even on….so as much as I’d rather not see a thinned out pregnant beast naked….at least she’s naked….but more importantly…all least she has a valid reason for her sheer size….

I love this pic of the dude kissing his lottery ticket….he’s like I’ll jump on the grenade cuz the grenade makes millions….and who can blame him for the k-fed….when you’re dick is in gold and you wanna keep it in gold you cum inside the bitch…easy.

Posted in:Jessica Simpson