I am probably the most sexually frustrated internet celebrity, not because I am sex obsessed and impotent and the only naked bitches I get to see are my fat wife and strippers who charge me money I don’t have to grab their fake titties….I am probably the most sexually frustrated internet celebrity because all the other bloggers are virgins, and you can’t miss what you’ve never had….if you’re a virgin and 25, jerking off is your sex, and when that gets boring like fucking your wife night after night for 20 years, you just give it up and focus your energy on celebrity gossip, TV and collecting DVDs. That said, I was talking to some dude who lined up a 3-some on New Years Eve, the very same New Years that these pics of Aguilera were taken, and after he got the girl into his hot tub naked, and after they started making out with each other and sucking on each other’s tits, dude moves in for the hotter girl. Rule number 1 of threesomes is that you focus your energy on the ugly girl, cuz it will make her feel sexy and give the hot one a complex forcing her to put more effort in. Anyway, dude focused on the hot one, the ugly one got jealous and made what could have been potentially an amazing ring in to the New Year, I’m talking better than Ryan Seacrest, if that’s possible, into a jerk off session like you had…

I guess the point of my story is that I have no point, here are the Aguilera pics.

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