I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2007

15

May

I am – Nick and Vanessa Minnillo at the Pool of the Day

vanessa_minnillo_bikini5.jpg

Here are some pictures of Nick Lachey, Jessica Simpson’s ex-husband who left her and ruined her by driving her into weight gain and alcohol abuse, proving that tits aren’t enough to make a girl worth living with but the potential of making millions of a reality TV show used to market the shit out of you is…either way he’s with his new girl Vanessa Minnillo and bitch is in a bikini and riding him all sexy like and shit and dude looks all uncomfortable, probably because he wishes she was his brother so that they could “wrestle”.

The whole concept of having a sexual history is fucked. You may be married, you may be in a relationship, you may have been laid once, but that doens’t change the fact that everytime you’ve thought about a girl who isn’t the one you are with, the girl you were with was thinking the same fucking thing, you know remember all the guys who fucked her better and had a bigger cock than you, so you shouldn’t feel guilty about the fantasy, trust me, your bitch is totally just setting for you…

If you may have no sexual history, you do have many masturbation experiences you can look back on to get all hot and bothered, like the time you did it in your parent’s bed, or outside in public, or in front of an open window so the neighbors could watch, or at that party in the bathroom while people were knocking, or on the roof of an abandoned building, or in the park in the rain…you know where I am going with this….

I am sure Nick still jerks off thinking about slamming Jessica, you know when he’s bored of that Vanessa box, he digs into his metal archive of every position he got his ex wife into, but he’s probably just doing the whole girl thing to get girl fans who dream about being his next love interest and the reality of the situation is that he really thinks boys is where it’s at…that’s why he shaves his chest as a notice to all the fags out there that he’ll be waiting behind the local gay bar for you….That’s why she’s so excited and he looks annoyed by the whole girl in bikini thing…cuz chicks dig fags.

I know you all think I am a racist, so notice that I didn’t say she looks Aboriginal.

Posted in:Bikini|Sex|Unsorted|Vanessa Minnillo

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!