Sienna Miller is good to go. She’s got an amazing cocaine body and I love that she doesn’t mind showing it off like some free spirited vegan feminist in sandals with a huge bush, but unlike the vegan feminist, Sienna Miller doesn’t rip cocks off men everywhere and hold them over her head like she’s carrying some Olympic torch in her quest to take the penis down, but instead begs for it to be stuck inside her because it’s a lazy day and she just feels like smoking some cigarettes, drinking some wine and laying on white linens naked all day after getting fucked.

Sure it could just be misrepresentation and misinterpretation, but she seems to be the good kind of hippie, the kind who is into fucking but who lives in luxury lofts, wears designer clothes and has enough money to pay me child support after I K-Fed her. Not that I ever will, but you get what I’m saying here, her vagina’s so hungry it’s eating her white bikini bottoms and that to me is enough proof of what I just wrote. Reality is that none of us will find out, but you can try to pretend you are while masturbating. It wouldn’t be a first time for you…at least you’re giving your dead relatives who are watching over you something to watch and by watch I mean be ashamed of…I guess it’s your kind of over-acheiving or some shit, you know adding chronic masturbater to being an unemployed, overweight loser on welfare in his mom’s basement is kind of an achievement.

Posted in:Bikini|Cameltoe|Cocaine|Sienna Miller