Elisha Cuthbert is in Hawaii with her Calgary Flames hockey playing boyfriend and I find that shit offensive. We get it, you’re fuckin’ Canadian bitch, you like hockey so much that you have to let their dicks up inside your dumpy ass consistently and to you hockey players are some kind of royalty because in Canada that’s how shit works and Hockey is the only thing important because celebrities in Canada and movies and TV and Music from Canada are all lame . I know that I hate hockey and I fuckin’ hate hockey fans and up until last week, when the Montreal Canadians were thankfully eliminated from the series I couldn’t leave my motherfuckin’ house without seeing the fagiest fuckin’ flags on cars and shirts on every fuckin’ person like I was in some kind of Twilight Zone episode because t, like Cuthbert think Hockey is a fuckin’ religion and would probably jump on hockey dick the first chance they got even if they never experienced dick before because they feel that passionate about the shit. I don’t understand why people can’t be normal and just obsess over normal things like the Girl Next Door, but I guess it doesn’t matter when Cuthbert is in a bikini because her nipples are hot and her body looks pretty alright and if I was a hockey team I would totally gang-rape her too, because it’s not considered the gayest thing when you’re a pro athlete and you spend your entire life in a shower or changing room with a group of men you’re supposed to be brothers with and prove that bond by shoving broom sticks up each other’s asses as initiation.

Posted in:Bikini|Elisha Cuthbert