I was served by the hottest lookin girl I had ever seen at a store today. Her face was flawless and I was wondering why she was working such a shitty job when she probably had the potential of making a hell of a lot more money if she just used her looks to get ahead. I was tempted to tell her how hot she was and how she should be doing something better than an 8 dollar an hour gig because I know way uglier chicks than her making 50,000 dollars a month just getting naked and doing lesbian shit online, but I wasn’t in the mood to socialize because I am socially awkward and always seem to say the wrong thing. Like this weekend, when I told a girl she was haggard in efforts to make her laugh before realizing that girls don’t find being called haggard all that funny. Anyway, this seemingly hot chick moved away from the counter she was hiding from and from the tits down she was obese. I am not talking a little obese like a girl who just needs to jog for a couple of months, I am talking fat camp obese and I took my food and walked away confused at what my brain just went through because this girl went from being smokin’ hot to being scary and fat in a matter of seconds and I just don’t have the capacity to process that shit fast enough.

Here are some pictures of Heidi Klum on the beach in a bikini which isn’t anything abnormal since we’ve seen her half naked over the course of her career, but I guess it’s safe to say that despite still being hot, she’s not where she used to be and I can only blame Seal for ruining her in more ways than just her post pregnancy body, if you know what I mean.

Posted in:Bikini|Heidi Klum