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So it turns out that God hates me. I was standing in line getting a coffee today and some old dude in front of me kept coughing a gross fuckin’ cough. It sounded wet and as whatever disease was trying to escape his body, I felt sick to the thought of the phlegm in his old man mouth. I am not scared of diseases as much as I used to be, but I still like staying away from that shit with my weakened immune system that I created by treating my body like shit and just as I was about to order and get the fuck out of there, dude turned around and sneezed, in efforts to not sneeze on the chick serving him, but managed to sneeze all over my motherfuckin’ hands and face. I ran to the bathroom to scrub his shit off my face and when I came back out he came up to me to apologize and homeboy was wearing a fuckin’ priest’s outfit. I forgot the priests still exist because I am not used to seeing them and I couldn’t find it in me to yell at him since he devoted himself to god and I guess the good news is that he doesn’t have AIDS or anything, since 12 year old boys tend to not have AIDS, but it was still gross and I blame God for doing that to me, like Katy Perry should blame God for putting her on the earth because she fuckin’ sucks, but unfortunately doesn’t realize it and is probably thanking him with ever dollar she makes off this shit, so maybe we should just blame God for giving Katy Perry a career because if I have to listen to that Kissed a Girl song that is always on the radio a few more times, I may have to say goodbye to this cruel world and jump off my third story window in hopes of landing on my head, but with my luck I will survive it and be forced to live in pain for the rest of my life, so maybe I’ll just change the radio station, but I still hate this cunt and her song and that’s the end of this post.

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Posted in:Katy Perry|Video