Remember Julia Roberts? Unfortunately, I do. My relationship with her is definitely one sided because she doesn’t know I exist, but I know that I hate her. I don’t find her hot. I never understoodd her career or why everyone was hard for her over the years.

I remember watching Pretty Woman almost weekly because this whore I was dating and living with insisted we get high and watch it all the fucking time. It gave her hope that her sucking dick for money would work out in the end, would bring her the life of luxury she always wanted, and that one day her Prince Charming would pull up in a limo and save her slutty as.

Unfortunately, that never happened. She died after getting beat by a John one night, a John I am sure she thought was Richard Gere’s character in the movie, coming to sweep her off her feet and save her from her hell. That is the false hope Julia Roberts fed her.

So if anything, it is all Julia Roberts’ fault this happened and here she is making huge money with her shitty mom body in a bikini, while my ex is dead.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Bikini|Julia Roberts