In my mind, Lindsay Lohan is a Christmas miracle that keeps on giving. I am not talking about her herpes, that is controlled thanks to valtrex. I am talking about her as a person. She just constantly comes out of the woodwork with her amazing fucking tits that I regret not making her show me the time I snuck into some party to hang out with her when she was in Montreal and she was too friendly to get me kicked out, because everything about this girl is amazing, except maybe that she gave me a wrong number and I’ve never been able to reconnect our love at first sight from that lovely night, not that that’s never happened before, the fake number thing is almost obvious…..not that that would ever make me hate this tits…they just always appear when I’m about to forget Lohan…..

I just know these are better than Santa Claus.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan